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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Do you have a fear of falling?

Posted By on Tue, Dec 21, 2010 at 9:44 AM

Have you ever gotten into an airplane with a parachute strapped to your back, only to cling to the side of the plane — literally or metaphorically? Or sat in your cubicle browsing the Internet for other jobs in Charlotte, to close out of the Web browser — and then fight traffic on 77 to just go home where you feel most comfortable? You know, that feeling you get when you climb to the top of a rock and look down at the water below … are you going to jump?

Well, falling in love is a hell of a lot scarier than jumping out of a plane – or changing a routine. Philophobia: the fear of falling in love.

Even the most daring and adventurous people play it safe when it comes to love. They date the "Justin Case" … the one you keep around merely because they’re not a flight risk. The one that endears your flaws, and puts up with your shit. But love is not a safety plan. You deserve more than a Justin Case, as much as no one deserves to be treated like one.

But you do still need to look before you leap. Just like there's a thin line between being happy and merely content, there’s a thin line between naively trying to stay in the game with a player because you think he’ll change his game in the ninth inning, and being too scared to even go up to bat.

Funny thing is … I didn’t want to try and keep up with the driver that was honking at me, or challenge the NBA player to a one-on-one that was trying to run game on me. I was too scared by status (and admittedly, also too insecure to compete with other women). So instead, I dated a guy that was 10 years older, pot-bellied, and on the same playing field as me socially and economically… because he felt safe. And go figure, he’s the one that ended up cheating on me.

That’s the thing about love … when you jump, you never know where you’re going to land. But you always have the option of landing on your feet.

Dating is like buying a house on the ocean and not getting flood insurance. There’s always a chance that the tide will change and come crashing down on you. But wouldn't you rather build your dream home instead of settling for living alone in a shack with no open doors? You can’t buy insurance on a person's loyalty. So why bother trying to make a net before you fall?

Cason-Point: Just effin' jump. And though it’s good to wear protection, take off the life vest that’s covering your heart, and dive in. Fall … in love. If someone doesn’t catch you, the worst you risk is a broken heart. Repair it, and then get right back up on that platform. Because the real people who have heart and courage are the ones who follow their heart.

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