DJ used to work in my office but last summer took a job at another location. We had never spoken much - I was still with my ex at the time, and he was dating a crazy redheaded receptionist - but I'd noticed him. He was ex-military, from the Islands, and that's about all I knew of him.
He came by a couple weeks ago to meet up with the guys for wings after work. They all stopped by my office on their way out to see if I wanted to join them. DJ walked in, sat down directly across from my desk and stared at me starstruck, like he'd never seen me before. The others noticed and made fun of him for being so obvious. He took a business card off my desk and put it in his pocket, winked at me, and walked out.
I wasn't sure if I was interested or not, but a couple days later, he called me at work and we had a great conversation. We decided to meet up at my favorite sushi place for dinner. When I met him there, he looked great, and smelled even better. We planned to go for a walk and get ice cream after dinner, but he convinced me that we should stop by his place first. He had bought a house last year and was been remodeling it himself, and wanted to finally show it off to someone. I'm a sucker for a man who can use power tools with authority, so I agreed.
As I wrote in my Death of Dating article, in January I had gotten fed up with online dating. It seemed like everyone was just using sites like Match and Plenty of Fish to hook up. I was looking for something more substantial, so I took a break.
Then the Olympics came along, and although I did not watch any of the programming, I did hear rumblings about the "scandalous" use of the Tinder app among athletes in Sochi. In the interest of keeping up with current sex news, and out of personal curiosity, I decided to sign on. After a month of use, I am undecided on its merit. A Tinder profile is brief - a few photos and a few sentences. Interested? Swipe left for "No" and swipe right for "Yes." There is no "Maybe." Judgments are made in about a second. If two people say "Yes" to each other, they are notified of a match and can begin messaging each other.
Recently, I was accused of slut-shaming. On my Instragram account (@livingsexuality) I posted a screenshot of an Observer article about the Duke student paying her way through school by doing porn. In the article, she is quoted as saying, "If Duke had given me the proper financial resources, I wouldn't have done porn. ... They have nobody to blame for the scandal but themselves."
My response, paraphrased: Own your career, don't be ashamed of it or expect anonymity. And don't blame Duke's lack of financial aid. I support your right to do what you want, but I have little patience for whiners.
In 2007, Gia Nova exploded onto the feature dancing circuit in a burst of sparks and flames. She was the first feature performer to take an electric grinder to her armor-like metal underwear, showering audiences in a kind of molten, heavy-metal confetti. Her act continues to strip the shiny veneer off of erotic entertainment, exploring the darker sides of desire by sawing through layers of sensation. Relying on her roots as a go-go dancer in a fetish club, some of Nova's acts incorporate such extremes as bloodbaths, leather-face costumes and occult themes. Even with these darker elements, her burlesque strip teases feature as much flare and feathers as an x-rated Cirqu Du Soleil show on the Vegas strip. She is as comfortable performing aerial silk acts as she is spinning fire from nipple tassels or breathing fire.
Nova has the blonde bombshell proportions of a busty playboy model, which she is, paired with the style and tattoos of a fetishistic pinup model, which she also is. Her dancing crosses as broad a spectrum as her gypsy lifestyle, incorporating belly dancing, Middle Eastern, American tribal, modern dance, and hip-hop. She also crafts her own props and costumes, and mixes her own music, creating a backdrop as unique as her performance. Nova's exotic shows offer a carnival experience, combining the taboo curiosities of freak shows and peep shows with the center-ring thrills of highflying circus arts.
Nova's erotic talents have been featured in every major gentlemen's magazine, including Penthouse, Playboy, Cherri, Hustler and Club. Exotic Dancer Magazine perpetually ranks Nova as one of the top feature performers. This October, Nova won "Best Feature Dancer" at Nightmoves 2013.
Tonight, she's a featured performer at the Mad Monster Party. I caught up with Nova over the phone while she was stuck in her Atlanta home under a sheet of snow.
Why did you start sneaking into Chamber Fetish Club in Atlanta at 17?
At 17, I was old enough to drive and I had my first job in retail. That job exposed me to people outside my circle of school friends. All of a sudden, I was meeting people in their 20s. Through them I heard about these cool goth and fetish clubs. One of my friends who was a go-go dancer at the goth club got me in by having me carry her costume bags. She told me to pretend like I was helping her and to act like I belonged there. Only one person made a comment about how young I looked. My friend just claimed that the club was going to hire me as a dancer. I did that for months. When I turned 18 the club did end up hiring me as a go-go dancer.