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Thursday, August 7, 2014

Hunger games

Posted By on Thu, Aug 7, 2014 at 10:10 AM

Last week we discussed going dutch for the first date. This week's story shows another side of that same coin.

Sometimes, the easiest way to meet new people is through other people. Lisa met Jamal at a gathering at her friend's house. She mentioned to her friend that she was single, and the friend mentioned that Jamal was single and just like that, the two were connected. (I don't know about y'all, but it never happens for me like that. EVER.)

So the two chat on the phone to get to know each other. What a novel concept — actually talking on the phone and not texting or tweeting an entire conversation! Anyway, their first date turns out to be at that Applebee's in the University area. Before you scrunch up your face, think cheap-ass appetizers and drink specials.

As Lisa is heading to the restaurant, Jamal calls and says he is running late. I gotta give him a point for this, because most mofos would just say, "I'll be there when I get there." So she gets there right on time at 7 p.m. Lisa decides that she will wait a maximum of 15 minutes for Jamal because if he really wants to get to know her, he'll get his ass there within that timeframe.

Y'all know he didn't get there in time right?

At exactly 7:15, Lisa makes her way to the car. As she is walking to the car, the phone rings again, and it's Jamal asking where she is. She tells him she is walking to the car, about to head home since he is clearly not interested. Jamal says he has just pulled into the parking lot. So, Lisa has a decision to make: entertain this late mofo or get in the car, go home, and get boo'd up with Netflix.

Lisa says at that moment when she was trying to decide whether or not to go or stay, a voice from the heavens above told her to stay because this man was her husband. I'm going to just pause here for a second to say this: God reveals Himself in many forms and ways, so if that's what Lisa heard, then so be it. But er ... God, hey, can you show me MY husband?!

Of course, Lisa decides to give it a shot and heads back to the restaurant to have dinner with Jamal. Jamal and Lisa get seated at a table, make a lil small talk, before he drops this on her: "Thanks for staying, but um, I don't have any money."

Readers, I swear, I would have gotten my ass up, asked God if he was playing, and stormed right on out of there. However, my name is not Lisa.

Lisa sits there, hoping he is just kidding, as Jamal continues to explain. "See, I was working a construction job, and got a check for it, but I just don't have any cash."

Sir, you ain't got a debit card? Credit card? Rolled up pennies?

He goes on to explain that he was late because he was finishing the job, got his check, had to get home to shower, and then drive over to the restaurant to meet Lisa.

All I hear is Charlie Brown's teacher: “whaa whaa whaa whaa whaa.”

He tells Lisa that he started to not even show up because of the money thing. Jamal, bruh, just stop already. He even offers to show her his uncashed check, but Lisa says that isn't necessary. The hell? By this point, the waitress has come over a few times to see if they are ready to order. Lisa decides to hang on in there and says she can pay for her own food. So she orders a meal and a drink. He drank water. Score one for Lisa!

So Jamal and his growling stomach watch Lisa eat as they have some good conversation. He informs her that he didn't really like going out to eat anyway. Yeah, Jamal, good excuse. Invite a lady to eat, don't have any money, then claim you don't like eating out. Riiiiiight bruh ... riiiiiiight.

Since the conversation was going so well, Lisa ultimately decided to take Jamal up on an offer to go out for a second date. I mean, was God still telling her to pay for these dates or what?

But on that second date, Jamal showed out and took her to Blue Restaurant to eat. Lo and dayum behold, Jamal paid for BOTH of their meals, AND he even paid Lisa back for the first date.

*THUD*

That was me falling on the floor in shock. Maybe Jamal isn't so bad.

Six months later, Jamal proposed to Lisa and they have been married for almost seven years. The lesson here is if Lisa had ignored God's revelation, and took it upon herself to peace out because Jamal had a triflin' moment, she would probably be in the same boat the rest of us are in: ALONE in the Queen City. Good thing Lisa had her own money and could pay for her meal.

While this wasn't your typical dating story, it ended up being a happily ever after. Maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for us all. Sadly, it’s going to take some hard work and nerves made of steel.

Want to share your own dating story? Good, Bad, Ugly—Go ahead, shoot an email to backtalk@creativeloafing.com. We'll keep your identity a secret — just let us know what dating in the Queen City is really like!

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