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Thursday, November 13, 2014

A roarin’ time at a Panthers game

Posted By on Thu, Nov 13, 2014 at 10:00 AM

First dates are a time to make an impression. Show off that great personality and sense of humor. Heck, you can even show off your sense of creativity with what you have planned for the date. But just like most of the dates that you guys send in, none of these things seem to matter to anyone anymore.

Let’s just jump into this week’s date-o-drama.

Tyrone met Keisha online. After a few conversations and discovering they both love the Carolina Panthers, Tyrone asks Keisha to go to a game for their first date. Tyrone tells Keisha the tickets were free, so they'd be sitting in the nosebleed section. Hey, a Panthers game is a Panthers game.

So, the two meet up outside the stadium, pleased that they both seem to look like their pictures on their online profiles. Since this took place before the stadium upgrades, they had to hump it up the stairs. When they get to their seats, Tyrone introduces her to his female cousin, her man, and Tyrone’s three kids.

*insert record scratch*

Keisha says she recalled Tyrone’s profile saying he didn’t have any kids, so she was a bit confused as to how this ended up being a family affair. She says she decided to just roll with it, because maybe they bought the tickets all together and maybe, just maybe, he was going to mention the three kids between the ages of 5 and 10.

Maybe. Girl. Bye.

As they settling in, Tyrone leans over and asks, “Do you have any extra gloves? I forgot mine.”

Keisha replies, “No sorry, but I doubt your hands would fit inside a pair of women’s gloves anyway.”

“I have worn a woman’s gloves before, and I can make it work.” Tyrone then puts his arm around Keisha. “Well, how about you let me put my hands on your kitty cat to keep them warm?”

What?

Keisha starts to think this fool is a little bold and out of order. She asks him what the hell he said. He replies, “Don’t act like you ain’t never let nobody touch the kitty so they can see what it smells like.”

I don’t know about you readers, but I just screamed. WHAT IN THE HOT HELL?! Did this ninja forget his kids are sitting right there?!

Keisha informs him that his hands are not going any further than they are and if he’s cold to put his hands in his pocket. She says she didn’t want to curse him out in front of his kids. But ma’am, why you still sitting there? Keisha says she figured maybe he had a few beers to drink before they met up and maybe that is the issue.

He leans over again. “You have a lot of hair, and you have such nice chocolate skin. Can I see your ti ...?”

Keisha says she thought he was asking to see her ticket, so she reminded him that he had the tickets.

Tyrone corrects her quickly. “No, not your ticket, your tits.”

By now, Tyrone’s cousin and her man are looking over at this crazy conversation. Keisha says luckily, the kids were all into the game, not paying any attention.

Tyrone then says, “Why are you playing? I got these Panthers tickets so you could see the cats play. Now I want to touch your cat or something. You wasn’t online dating just to hang out, you want something, and I can give it to you.”

At this point, Keisha finally decides she’s had enough. She informs him how disrespectful he is and that she is leaving. She then hikes it on back down the steps and out of the stadium. Shockingly, (note the sarcasm) Tyrone didn’t call her ever again.

This could have turned into a cute date, had the dude had some respect and knew how to act right. There were so many red flags that Keisha ignored, but I guess just with anything, we all like to give it a few chances before throwing the deuces. The sad part is, those kids are going to see how their father comes at women and probably think that’s the right way to talk to us. I blame these heffas that allow this ish by thinking it’s cute. I don’t know about y’all, but my Panthers growl and claws probably would have come out after being disrespected like Keisha.

Have you had a good or bad dating experience that you want to share? Go ahead, shoot an email to backtalk@creativeloafing.com. We'll keep your identity a secret — just let us know what dating in the Queen City is really like!

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