There was a time when women went to college to get an education and a husband or at least that's the story told to many in their youth. These days, if you listen to young people talk, marriage is the farthest thing from their minds.
A new study blames hooking up, the act of having sex with no strings. For young women who have been using their prowess in bed in hopes of starting a relationship, prepare to be disappointed.
In an era when marriage is often far from the minds of young Americans, the book provides a fuller understanding of why that is, how the place of sex in romantic relationships has shifted and what that means for young adults. The outlook for relationship security, he claims, is more grim than ever."There have been many changes in romantic and sexual behavior over the past 30 years," says Regnerus. "One is that the 'price of sex' among unmarried Americans has dipped to an all-time low."
Regnerus and Uecker describe the "price of sex" as the cost to men of romance, status, stability and commitment that men exchange for access to sex in a relationship. They argue that despite women's successes, contemporary relationships are becoming more male-centered than ever, with men gaining access to sex earlier and more often, yet providing fewer and later commitments than a generation ago.
What this study doesn't point out, like a lot of these studies, is that women want the pleasures of sex and don't want to marry everyone who gives them an orgasm. While it's true, at least if you listen to your single friends, that sex is better when a woman has an emotional connection to her partner, not every 18-24 year old is looking for Mr. Right, right now.
Far too often, men profit from telling women they're going to be lonely for the rest of their lives. Take comedian Steve Harvey, for example. He's made millions off his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Why? Because women buy into the theory that we all are supposed to have a knight in shining armor. Maybe if women stop waiting for some Batman to come and save them and just live, love wouldn't have to be studied so much.
A few months ago, a study said fat men offered the most pleasure when it came to love making.
Now, The Better Sex Network is offering tips for overweight lovers.
The desire to have sex and be intimate doesnt stop if you are overweight. The desire is there just the same. However sometimes it can be difficult to find sex positions that work with both of your bodies, especially if youre both larger individuals. Though your options may be a bit more limited, there are still several positions that shouldnt be too difficult for you to accomplish. Added to that are some position aids that you can find around your house to help you achieve these positions, or modify others to fit your body and sexuality.Doggy style can also be easily modified in a couple different ways to help you achieve it, if its difficult for you. Firstly, if its difficult for the female and shes overweight you can place a couple pillows under her stomach. This will assist and alleviate the weight of her stomach pulling on her back. This will also lessen or stop the movements of her belly, which can be awkward.
Missionary can also be modified into cowgirl position; him on his back, her on top. Cowgirl position is a great option because it gives him a break, which is a good thing especially if he has knee or back problems. Also, it allows her to be in control. While this could be awkward if she has a larger, loose stomach; by simply leaning forward and putting her hands on the bed to either side of his head this will allow her stomach to rest on him which can make things easier and less awkward for her. This too will allow her to thrust at will and achieve a penetration position that she desires.
A last position that could help guys with larger stomachs is reverse cowgirl. With him laying on his back and her straddled on him but facing his feet, this leaves room for his stomach to not be in the way. This can also give her a feeling of control similar to what men feel in doggy style. This sex position can also offer room for both individuals if the each has larger stomachs as they will not be getting in each others way.
Of course, it takes more than comfortable positions to ensure that your sex life is satisfying. You have to be comfortable with yourself, small or larger, and your partner needs to appreciate your body, spirit and mind.
When it snows in Charlotte, the city shuts down. We don't like the cold in the Queen City, but when it's cold outside you should be heating things up at home. Snow can be the backdrop for a romantic and grown-up snow day.
The fireplace: Light a fire and place a blanket near the fireplace (if you have one) for you and your companion to relax on. Have your favorite beverage chilled. (And since you're so Charlotte, you have cheese and bread, so make sandwiches.) Turn all the lights off and play some soft music in the background while watching the snow fall.
Have a snow ball fight: There's nothing better than tapping into your inner child. While you and your mate toss snowballs at each other, make sure you have a warming station inside, complete with hot chocolate, whipped cream and warm robes because you have to get out of those wet clothes.
Just stay inside: Movie day on the sofa ... in the nude.
Last year, I discovered that I'm a criminal. And I also discovered that North Carolina has some of the most antiquated laws about sex on the books.
For example:
Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
But that's simply the beginning. When it comes to being a sex offender in this state, it seems as if the "law" wants you to wallow in your past mistake forever. Now, don't get me wrong, pedophiles and rapists have no place in society. But too often, sex offenders are teenagers who got caught sexting or having sex with someone two years younger than them.
Imagine my surprise when I found out churches yes, churches are off limits to sex offenders. Right here, I could make a quip about a Catholic priest, but I won't.
A sex offender was shocked after being arrested for attending church. According to North Carolina law, a sex offender could be forced to serve 12 more years in prison for worship.
An additional 12 years in prison because you want to praise the Lord? That's crazy. Now, no sex offender should be allowed to volunteer at the church's nursery, babysit the kids and what not. But what can a sex offender do in a crowded church? Do parents allow their children to run around the church and hang out with strangers? I hope not.
If a sex offender can't find forgiveness in a church in the Bible Belt, we're all screwed.
Some people will be ringing in 2011 with someone they will never see again. That's according to an article from Lemondrop, you're more likely to have a one-night stand on New Year's Eve than any other time of the year.
A survey from intimacy products manufacturer Wet has found that 33 percent of women admitted that they were more likely to have a one-night stand on New Year's Eve than on any other night of the year.With another 29 percent of respondents saying they'd hooked up with a co-worker at a holiday bash, now's the time to spark up a conversation with your office crush. And you might want to show up prepared for some action: 57 percent of women said they'd snuck off for a quickie during a holiday gathering.
If you're going to do the NYE one-night stand, you should plan properly for it. That means, get a box of condoms. If this is a one-night stand and you won't see this person again, there's no need to hide your freak flag.
Make sure you two have enough money between you to pay for a hotel room. This is good in case either of you have stalker tendencies. Keep in mind that hotel rates in Uptown Charlotte will be expensive for two reasons: the bowl game that's in town and the holiday. You might have better luck near the airport getting a room. But after you drive all the way out there, you might change your mind.
Don't let the norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin fool you into thinking there's more there than it really is. You're just satisfied.
Even if you and your one-night stand decide to see each other again, a new study dooms your relationship.
Couples who had sex the earliest - such as after the first date or within the first month of dating - had the worst relationship outcomes."What seems to happen is that if couples become sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long-run," study researcher Dean Busby, of Brigham Young University's School of Family Life, told LiveScience.
Remember that smart, yet short-lived TV show Swingtown? Well, if you live in the Queen City, then Swingtown didn't end, it just got a local setting.
According to Swingtowns.com, Charlotte is one of the top swinging cities.
No matter if you're seeking some hot steamy evenings with Charlotte Single Swingers in town or friends with benefits, take it slow at first. If you appear too pushy in your initial contact, it can be a huge turnoff. The provocative part for swingers is the thrill of the anticipation of something new. Finding Charlotte threesomes online is simple. Once strangers, those who make a small effort in email and ims on the computer really do meet in person, and enjoy swingers offline!
This site is like Facebook for sex. You create a profile or an account, the site is also very private and discrete. In the forums, there are Christmas party listings, links to porn sites and there are swingers by state, city and so forth. So, if you're looking for another way to have fun, log on.
Dec. 1 is usually the day we start thinking about buying more Christmas gifts. But the red ribbons you're seeing today don't have anything to do with the holiday of giving. It's World AIDS Day. If you haven't been tested in 2010, other than feeling ashamed of yourself for not knowing your status, you should have no problem getting a test today.
Though there is more awareness about HIV and AIDS, people still aren't getting tested.
Guidelines making AIDS tests part of routine care have helped get more Americans tested, but more than half of adults still have no idea if they are infected, government researchers reported on Tuesday.Nearly 83 million Americans have been tested for the AIDS virus, 11.4 million of them since the guidelines were issued in 2006, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said.
But 200,000 Americans are infected with the virus and do not know it, CDC director Dr. Thomas Frieden said.
"The numbers show that progress is possible," Frieden told a news conference.
"They also show that progress is needed," he added. "To see a steady improvement in just a two or three year period, I think, is quite encouraging. It's progress but it's not success."
The CDC estimates that 1.1 million Americans are infected with the human immunodeficiency virus that causes AIDS.
Testing for HIV has evolved; these days, you can get a rapid test which will give your results before you even get out of the chair. There is a hint of fear every time you go and take an HIV Test. But this disease is preventable, and you owe it to yourself to know your status.
Here's where you can go locally:
In Mecklenburg County, there are eight free clinics where you can go and get tested, such as the Charlotte Community Health Clinic (3040 A Eastway Drive, 704-316-6561), the Matthews Free Medical Clinic (113 N. Ames St., Matthews, 704-841-8882) and the Charlotte Volunteers in Medicine Free Clinic (1315 Beatties Ford Road, 704-350-1300), among others.The medical community isn't the only group trying to raise AIDS Awareness and encourage HIV testing. Carolinas Care Partnership (www.carolinascare.org) will offer free HIV and syphilis testing on World AIDS Day, from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m., at 7510 E. Independence Blvd., Ste. 105.
When it comes to sex, older women know what they're doing and are very confident about it, according to a new study.
Older men, not so much.
Well, a majority of the baby boomers think they've learned just about all there is to know on the subject and more women than men are confident of their knowledge -- according to a new Associated Press-LifeGoesStrong.com poll.Among people aged 45 to 65, 59 percent of women think they know all about sex, while just 48 percent of men share that confidence level.
"I don't think a single person in the whole world knows all there is about sex," commented Debby Herbenick of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University.
"Women historically have more resources," to learn about sex, noted Jennifer Bass, director of communications at the Kinsey Institute for Sex, Gender and Reproduction.
And let's face facts, women have to study their own bodies and decide what works best for them when it comes to having sex because every man isn't going to take his time to please his sex partner.
Herbenick agreed that women use their friends to talk about sex more than men do and are more likely to see a counselor or therapist.Finding sexual pleasure can be more of a learning process for women, she said, "Women are just more likely to discuss sex in a real way with friends and other women."
Even though older women feel confident about sex, it doesn't mean they're happy with their current sex life.
Other findings of the poll include:- Among age groups, baby boomers are the unhappiest with their sex lives. Some 24 percent say they're dissatisfied, compared with 12 percent of 18-29 year olds, 20 percent of 30-44 year olds and 17 percent of those over 65.
- A majority of female boomers -- 56 percent -- say their sex drive has decreased as they have gotten older, compared with 46 percent of men.
- Seventy-two percent of men aged 45-65 have fantasized about having sex with someone other than their sexual partner at the time, compared with 48 percent of women.
- Among married boomers, 62 percent said they had had sex for the first time with a partner other than their first spouse, while 35 percent said their first spouse was also their first sexual partner. Fourteen percent said they had sex for the first time with their first spouse, but not until after they were married.
- More baby boomer men, 73 percent, than women, 54 percent, said their first sexual partner was someone other than their first spouse. Just 15 percent of women over age 65 said they had sex for the first time with someone other than their first spouse, while 54 percent of men over 65 said their first partner wasn't their first spouse.
The Urban Carrie Bradshaw is local artist Lena Hopkins-Jackson's alter ego sort of.
And even though the cartoon is sexy, she was born out of political disgust. Jackson said in 2008 she wasn't happy with the way some political cartoonists were treating then-Sen. Barack Obama. She published posts on her blog about the character as a way to talk about the president in her way.
But, Jackson said, after the election she stopped blogging as much; however, she didn't want to let the character die.
"I haven't been blogging like I used to. What's going on now is a departure from politics and moving toward pop culture, and I wanted to do an animated cartoon to get people's attention and attract them to the blog," she said. "I partnered with Urban Tymes Magazine and the plan is every month to do a column about things that are going on in the city."
To launch The Urban Carrie Bradshaw into the public's mind, Hopkins-Jackson is hosting a party this Friday night that will include a showing of the animated short starring the chocolate city girl; some sexy poetry from a Punany Poet; Aalanie Renee; Charlotte's voice of the Quiet Storm, Preston Miles, who also does the voice of the boyfriend in the cartoon; and more at the Shhh Sensual Poetry and Jazz show. The event, which is Friday starting at 9 p.m., will be held at Allure, 1508 S. Mint St.
"The way to go with this was to make it a grown-and-sexy event," Jackson said. "There will be chocolate strawberry tasting, people are going to come dressed in sexy attire and all of that kind of stuff. It's the kind of event that [The Urban Carrie Bradshaw] would go to if she were a real person."
Want to go?
Tickets can be purchased at Expressions Hair Salon and Weeve Works
2601 North Tryon St Suite# D
Charlotte, NC 28206-2713
(704) 343-0023
Or Online at: www.pinkdiamondpromo.com/
Have you ever been Uptown on a Saturday night (and sober) and seen the horse and buggies? Moreover, have you ever taken a look at the couples snuggled together on in the buggy?
I'm sure that the guy who sprang for the carriage ride got a special ride of his own at the end of the night. Watching couples in horse-drawn carriages got me thinking about the romance level of the city. How romantic is this banking burg?
Well, if you know where to look, Charlotte has romance down to a science.
Here are some examples: For you forgetful lovers, there is A Lasting Romance.
A Lasting Romance is dedicated to preserving and enhancing the quality of marriages and relationships. In this busy world it is sometimes easy to overlook a special date in your relationship, for example: birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, or the special day that you met or became engaged. Even when you do remember the occasion, the time that it takes to go out shopping and choose the right gift or plan an evening out may be time that you just don't have.
For you cash-heavy lovers, there's the Ballantyne Hotel's romantic getaway packages.
Indulge in Luxury with the one who matters most. Experience our Luxury Romance package from $249 a night for two guests which includes:Two or more nights in an elegant guest room
Champagne and a floral arrangement delivered on your arrival day at approximately 6pm
Complimentary valet parking
For the solo lovers, there's always Pure Romance until the real thing comes along.
Pure Romance Parties are fun, true. But they're also educational! Your Consultant is trained by sex health experts and arrives at your party with answers to the most intimate questions. She'll also tell you about new techniques and tips for improving your relationship with your partner! Where else can women discuss sexuality in a safe, comfortable setting? Your guests will remember your party for the great time they had, but also for the way it changed their lives.
And if you simply want to read about romance, Charlotte and the surrounding area is home to a number of romance writers. They have to get their inspiration from somewhere:
Emilie Rose, her titles include, His High-Stakes Holiday Seduction, Bedding the Secret Heiress and Executive's Pregnancy Ultimatum.
Sabrina Luna, her titles include, Crazy For You, They Call Me Trouble and Charade
AlTonya Washington, her titles include, As Good As The First Time, In The Midst of Passion and A Lover's Regret.
And Creative Loafing's own Cheris Hodges, her titles include, Betting On Love, No Other Lover Will Do and Let's Get It On.
So, Charlotte is a romantic place, once you look past the banks, unemployment, bad roads, messed up schools ... you get what I'm saying.