Let's say you and this special person have been dating for awhile -- three dates to be exact -- and you're ready to take your date to bed.

You've suffered through movies you hate because you want to show your date that you can compromise.

You've taken hikes, gone to the Lake at University and gotten bug bites in places where you know you're not going to be able to scratch.

Now, you want to get all Isley Brother with this person and end up in between the sheets. You got the special red sheets on your bed, you've spent three hours cleaning your bedroom, bathroom and living room. Your place smells like sweet jasmine and patchouli, but you don't want to come off as a horny jerk.

You suggest dinner at Vinnie's Grill and Raw Bar.

What?

Yes, focus on the Raw part.

Oysters, feed them to your date and you're going to look cultured and fun, because Vinnie's -- especially the one on South Boulevard -- is a fun place and raw oysters are an aphrodisiac.

If you're not sure that you like raw oysters, ask for lemon juice.

You should tell your date at the end of dinner that you're ready to take it to that next level and if oysters are all of that, that person will be willing to go there with you.

After reading an article about going dutch on the Frisky, it got me thinking about dating and gender roles. Women, we have ourselves to blame. Howman magazine articles tell us to ask a man out, buy him a drink and make the first move.

We've become the hunters, then we complain when the check comes and he doesn't make a move for his wallet. If you asked him out, then you should expect to pay. End of discussion.

If you two were set up by a friend, said friend should've armed you both with gift cards or cash.

If your mama is so set on you getting married and giving her grandkids, she needs to hand over the credit card for dinner and a trip to Adam and Eve.

Dating isn't hard, we make it difficult because we over think everything.

To say we live in a button up banker town, Charlotte is full of freaks.

And that's not a bad thing.

Sure we're the buckle of the Bible Belt, but below the belt, Charlotte has a lot of secret societies and kinks that almost rival Nevada. Well, maybe that's a bit of an overstatement.

One thing that I wonder about is why so much of Charlotte's kinky side is hidden. Everyone knows there's a swinger lifestyle here, but you almost have to sign your life away to be a part of it. Maybe that's because we do live in a banker town and people are very judgmental.

A friend of mine opened up to me this weekend that she's a member of a secret society of mostly women who meet, have dinner, drinks and sex with each other. Half of these women are married and of those women, not many let their husbands in on their secret.

With the killings from Craigslist that have generated a buzz on the news, maybe these groups are a safe way for people to express their hidden sexual desires. When you get a group of like-minded people together, fun and orgasms are sure to follow.

Are you a kinky Charlottean looking for a special group to join? Here are some links to point you in the right direction.

Adult Carolina

Carolina Friends

The Melting Pot (not the restaurant)

Carolina Bi Couples Swing

Nubian Carolina

Queen City Pleasure

Swinger Space (an adult version of MySpace)

If you're like me, you've tried Internet dating, you've had a random hook up with someone from the club, but now you're older and you're ready to have sex with one person--at least for the next few months.

But how do you meet someone without using Eharmony, Facebook, MySpace or heaven forbid Craig's List?

Join a meetup group.

One in particular that looks good for a single person on the hunt is Charlotte Match.

It's described as:

This local group is for singles of all ages who are looking for new friends, a new romance, long term relationships, or marriage. If you're not into the bar crowd, disillusioned by internet dating, and ready to find that special someone, this group is for you. We are scheduling events and casual parties where you can mingle with and get to know other singles in the area who, just like you, are ready to find that special someone. Good food & drinks, music, and good conversation with like-minded people. Let's make this the FAVORITE SINGLE'S MINGLE's group.

What's different about this group is that they actually go out to some hip spots in town. They met a PJ's last month and the group is planning to meet next Monday for a singles mingle at PJ's.

There's also a Charlotte Baby Boomers Singles Meetup Group, hey, old people need love too.

If you're 40+ and new to the dating scene, there's meetup group for you too, Dating After 40.

Charlotte's Meetup groups offer an alternative to meeting people in the bar and even you don't find love, you're sure to make friends.

Mustang Sally mentioned the opening of Crave, a new dessert bar in Charlotte, a couple of weeks ago that's sure to be a meet market. Well, we have an update for ya on its opening date. Check out Eat My Charlotte for photos and a little insider info. And as far as when it's opening ... is NEXT WEEK soon enough for ya?

What's sexier than dessert?

I'm sure this place is going to be a wonderful meet market. Besides money, women love chocolate. And we all know what chocolate can do.

If you don't, let me drop some science on you:

Chocolate has been a known aphrodisiac since the dark ages and has been given as a symbol of love since time immemorial, but can it really be competition to sex? Consider this - the "love chemical," or phenyl ethylamine, contains the very same chemical that is responsible for the high you feel with the first flush of love. Researchers also believe that it is this very chemical that causes the brain to release mesolimbic dopamine while you are in the throes of passion to give that unique sky rocketing feeling of elation after an orgasm.

So, fellas, if you don't like dessert, you still have to go to CRAVE. How many times do you hit a bar and run into a bunch of unhappy woman? At a place like CRAVE, where I am sure the chocolate will be flowing, there will be nothing but happy women.

Keep checking here and I will drop the open date on you ASAP.

You don't even have to like art.

Last Friday night, I ventured out to NoDa's gallery crawl. It was a beautiful night and the streets were packed. In this economy, going to gallery crawl is a cheap date as well. Most galleries offer free wine and finger food. If you're a man and you offer to take a woman to gallery crawl, you're going to look sensitive, artsy and all that other crap women say they want in a man.

But the truth is, if you hit up enough galleries, you'll have your date drunk before the end of the night. The wine may cause your date to let his or her hair down as well as the boxer briefs or panties.

And then there is the art. You can't go to a gallery crawl, whether it is NoDa's or South End's and not be impressed by the work of the artists.

So, if you need somewhere to go on a date or just to meet a different type of person, hit up one of the city's gallery crawls.

South End Gallery Crawl is the first Friday of each month.

NoDa's Gallery Crawl is first and third Friday of each month.