Let's say you and this special person have been dating for awhile -- three dates to be exact -- and you're ready to take your date to bed.
You've suffered through movies you hate because you want to show your date that you can compromise.
You've taken hikes, gone to the Lake at University and gotten bug bites in places where you know you're not going to be able to scratch.
Now, you want to get all Isley Brother with this person and end up in between the sheets. You got the special red sheets on your bed, you've spent three hours cleaning your bedroom, bathroom and living room. Your place smells like sweet jasmine and patchouli, but you don't want to come off as a horny jerk.
You suggest dinner at Vinnie's Grill and Raw Bar.
Yes, focus on the Raw part.
Oysters, feed them to your date and you're going to look cultured and fun, because Vinnie's -- especially the one on South Boulevard -- is a fun place and raw oysters are an aphrodisiac.
If you're not sure that you like raw oysters, ask for lemon juice.
You should tell your date at the end of dinner that you're ready to take it to that next level and if oysters are all of that, that person will be willing to go there with you.
Remember the days of those middle school dances ... boys on one side of the room, the girls on the other?
Your favorite jam comes on ... you sway, maybe even two step a lil' bit ... hoping and praying and wishing upon every star there is that one of them mofos on the other side of the room will step to you?
Both sides of the room start staring each other down, then bashfully looking away, then taking a chance to take a sneak peek to see if they might be looking?
Well, the social scene in the Queen City as a grown-ass adult ... is no different.
For the life of me I cannot understand why its so hard to mingle with folks at social events. I thought maybe it's a fluke, but after hitting up a few parties over the weekend hell for the past couple of years same ole ish, different day/party
Some say it's because of the cliques that have formed, others say its because, simply put, it is what it is.
So I just had to put together a list of helpful hints so that mixing and mingling is a lil' less Queen City Middle School-esque:
1. Fellas: If a female walks up to you and says hello ... there's absolutely no need for you to start displaying bitchassness qualities by freaking out like she's trying to propose. All the mofo said was "HELLO" ... a simple "HELLO" in response is all we are asking for.
2. Ladies: If a man buys you a drink, it don't mean you have to give up the drawz. Take the drink and keep it moving. And men, if we accept the drink, that DOES NOT mean we are now damn-near engaged and you are going to the crib for the night. It is what it is. You bought the drink. Thanks.
3. Staring is just rude. At least do the 3 second rule: Look, hold three seconds, then turn ya damn head. Or put on your big boy boxers or your big girl thongs and open your mouth and speak.
4. I get that you came to the party/event with your crew, but cliques are soooooo 90s. Break out of the group and mingle! Networking is so 2009!
5. And lastly, if you finally make that move to mingle and you are met with a blank stare and a rapid succession of blinks (as I'm known to give folks), don't give up. Just say nice meeting you and take your ass on to the next person...
Lesson Learned: Fam, we are grown. Time to ditch the security blanket called your clique once we enter a social event. Hell, you never know who you might meet.
After reading an article about going dutch on the Frisky, it got me thinking about dating and gender roles. Women, we have ourselves to blame. Howman magazine articles tell us to ask a man out, buy him a drink and make the first move.
We've become the hunters, then we complain when the check comes and he doesn't make a move for his wallet. If you asked him out, then you should expect to pay. End of discussion.
If you two were set up by a friend, said friend should've armed you both with gift cards or cash.
If your mama is so set on you getting married and giving her grandkids, she needs to hand over the credit card for dinner and a trip to Adam and Eve.
Dating isn't hard, we make it difficult because we over think everything.
Until football season starts, there is not much to do. Or is there?
Try a picnic in one of Charlotte's many parks. If you don't want to cook, try one of the daily specials at Boudreauxs.
If you don't want to sit outside and fight pollen, maybe you want head into a restaurant and make goo-goo eyes at your date over drinks. For $9.99, you can take a date to Macaroni Grill for a Mediterranean chicken grill. The location in University City offers a secluded feeling that will surely jumpstart the passion.
If you want to stay at home and cook dinner, check out the fresh fruits and veggies at the farmer's markets around town. Don't forget the seafood, oysters to kick up the sexual heat. There are a number of seafood markets in east Charlotte, along Central Avenue.
Monday can be a great date night, with or without football on TV.
To say we live in a button up banker town, Charlotte is full of freaks.
And that's not a bad thing.
Sure we're the buckle of the Bible Belt, but below the belt, Charlotte has a lot of secret societies and kinks that almost rival Nevada. Well, maybe that's a bit of an overstatement.
One thing that I wonder about is why so much of Charlotte's kinky side is hidden. Everyone knows there's a swinger lifestyle here, but you almost have to sign your life away to be a part of it. Maybe that's because we do live in a banker town and people are very judgmental.
A friend of mine opened up to me this weekend that she's a member of a secret society of mostly women who meet, have dinner, drinks and sex with each other. Half of these women are married and of those women, not many let their husbands in on their secret.
With the killings from Craigslist that have generated a buzz on the news, maybe these groups are a safe way for people to express their hidden sexual desires. When you get a group of like-minded people together, fun and orgasms are sure to follow.
Are you a kinky Charlottean looking for a special group to join? Here are some links to point you in the right direction.
The Melting Pot (not the restaurant)
Swinger Space (an adult version of MySpace)
If you're like me, you've tried Internet dating, you've had a random hook up with someone from the club, but now you're older and you're ready to have sex with one person--at least for the next few months.
But how do you meet someone without using Eharmony, Facebook, MySpace or heaven forbid Craig's List?
Join a meetup group.
One in particular that looks good for a single person on the hunt is Charlotte Match.
It's described as:
This local group is for singles of all ages who are looking for new friends, a new romance, long term relationships, or marriage. If you're not into the bar crowd, disillusioned by internet dating, and ready to find that special someone, this group is for you. We are scheduling events and casual parties where you can mingle with and get to know other singles in the area who, just like you, are ready to find that special someone. Good food & drinks, music, and good conversation with like-minded people. Let's make this the FAVORITE SINGLE'S MINGLE's group.
What's different about this group is that they actually go out to some hip spots in town. They met a PJ's last month and the group is planning to meet next Monday for a singles mingle at PJ's.
There's also a Charlotte Baby Boomers Singles Meetup Group, hey, old people need love too.
If you're 40+ and new to the dating scene, there's meetup group for you too, Dating After 40.
Charlotte's Meetup groups offer an alternative to meeting people in the bar and even you don't find love, you're sure to make friends.
Mustang Sally mentioned the opening of Crave, a new dessert bar in Charlotte, a couple of weeks ago that's sure to be a meet market. Well, we have an update for ya on its opening date. Check out Eat My Charlotte for photos and a little insider info. And as far as when it's opening ... is NEXT WEEK soon enough for ya?
This was supposed to be a cheap date alert post. But as I was looking up some information about restaurant specials, Goggle took me to eharmony.com.
The article was called "Tips for dating in Charlotte," so I had to read it. As I read, it became clear that the writer has no idea how to date in Charlotte.
Don't believe me? Check out these nuggets of dating "wisdom:
3. Its All about Uptown
When you want excitement and adventure for your date in Charlotte, you want to go to Uptown or the center city. Despite the confusion with the name (since some residents call Uptown Downtown), its where all the action is! From museums, bars, and dining establishments to nightclubs and hotels this is the life of the city and the perfect place to take a date.
First of all, it isn't all about Uptown because if you don't find anywhere to park, your date is over really quickly. And in real life, who goes on a date at the museum?
Charlotte has a great bus system, with over 40 stops and affordable fares but the bus may not be the best way to impress your date. If you choose to go the taxi route, be prepared to pay a pricey fee. The average cost is around $2 a mile, not including the initial fee and any traffic or wait time, which some taxis charge for.
Just the fact that someone wrote Charlotte has a great bus system proves that they don't live here or have never taken a ride on CATS.
Dating in Charlotte can be fun, but with the recession in full swing and bankers becoming hated, dating in Charlotte has gotten that much harder.
What's sexier than dessert?
I'm sure this place is going to be a wonderful meet market. Besides money, women love chocolate. And we all know what chocolate can do.
If you don't, let me drop some science on you:
Chocolate has been a known aphrodisiac since the dark ages and has been given as a symbol of love since time immemorial, but can it really be competition to sex? Consider this - the "love chemical," or phenyl ethylamine, contains the very same chemical that is responsible for the high you feel with the first flush of love. Researchers also believe that it is this very chemical that causes the brain to release mesolimbic dopamine while you are in the throes of passion to give that unique sky rocketing feeling of elation after an orgasm.
So, fellas, if you don't like dessert, you still have to go to CRAVE. How many times do you hit a bar and run into a bunch of unhappy woman? At a place like CRAVE, where I am sure the chocolate will be flowing, there will be nothing but happy women.
Keep checking here and I will drop the open date on you ASAP.
You don't even have to like art.
Last Friday night, I ventured out to NoDa's gallery crawl. It was a beautiful night and the streets were packed. In this economy, going to gallery crawl is a cheap date as well. Most galleries offer free wine and finger food. If you're a man and you offer to take a woman to gallery crawl, you're going to look sensitive, artsy and all that other crap women say they want in a man.
But the truth is, if you hit up enough galleries, you'll have your date drunk before the end of the night. The wine may cause your date to let his or her hair down as well as the boxer briefs or panties.
And then there is the art. You can't go to a gallery crawl, whether it is NoDa's or South End's and not be impressed by the work of the artists.
So, if you need somewhere to go on a date or just to meet a different type of person, hit up one of the city's gallery crawls.
South End Gallery Crawl is the first Friday of each month.
NoDa's Gallery Crawl is first and third Friday of each month.
I am a 50 yr old gay man thinking back to some of the 18…
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