As in the Quail Hollow ... Wachovia ... whatever you want to call it, Championship.
Before this weekend, the only golf tournament I had been to before was the Panther’s golf tournament where I had to “drive a celebrity” around in a golf cart. Well this “celebrity” insisted I had a beer with him, which kind of made me wonder about the laws of drinking and driving golf carts.
But that doesn’t really count, nor does it compare to the Quail Hollow Championship where I got a crash course in golf, on the course.
Seeing as how I host a show about motorsports, my friends made an analogy of golfers to NASCAR drivers so that I would understand. They decided that Boo Weekly was the Carl Edwards, Camilo Villegas the Kyle Busch, Phil Mickelson the Dale Jr. and Tiger Woods the Jimmie Johnson. I meanwhile just rooted for Brendon de Jonge because he went to Virginia Tech and was representing Charlotte.
I also learned that when the golf referees throw their hands up that it means to shut up.
Whenever a player makes an eagle, I think the crowd should be like Nelly and drop down and get their eagle on. And I have also come to the conclusion that men should be women’s caddies and carry our purses.
Meanwhile, another one of my friends was being the “Honorary Observer” for Ross Fisher – she even got a hat that said “Honorary Observer.” And as we walked over the river and through the woods around the course we observed the Hendrick’s family home, Coach Fox’s new monstrosity of a house and a home that looked like it was transplanted from Savannah with a sign reading: “Player’s Shelter.” We also saw some “grounds groupies” and what looked like the cast of The Real Housewives of Charlotte.
Cameras and cell phones are outlawed at golf tournaments so I had to wean myself off my crackberry and am thus unable to provide you with a pic, but I was able to capture the tournament oriented block party that was relocated this year from Phillip’s Place to Piedmont Town Center.
There I bounced around from Brio to Oceanaire to Del Frisco’s where Rick Flair was having a party and important people like governor candidates, football coaches, Noah Lazes and Bob Durkin attended. And I don’t know who was looking after Uptown Friday night because BMG staffed the soiree.
Don’t you worry; this SouthPark Alive After Five will be every Friday with Piedmont Town Center at Five.
The band line-up includes …
May 6 – The Embers (a good beachy band)
May 13 – Band of Oz
May 20 – Breakfast Club
May 27 – Liquid Pleasure
June 3 – Too Much Sylvia
June 10 – Dave Matthews Tribute Band
June 17 – The Backbeat
June 24 – Black & Blue
Now, for More Tales from the Women’s Bathroom.
The following conversation actually happened in the bathroom of Oceanaire...
A woman pointed to my red high heels that kind of look like Dorothy’s slutty ruby slippers and asked, “Oh my God are those …(Christian something or other – some designer, I honestly don’t remember whose name she said)?”
ME: “Who?”
HER: “Guess not!” (sigh of disgust) “Those are like $3,000 shoes, what brand are those Steve Madden?”
ME: “Aldo … and I thought I spent too much for them.” What I wanted to say: “Who the hell spends $3,000 on a pair of shoes?”
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