At 20 I met a man who had just turned 37 and we fell for each other literally overnight. Not because we had sex, but because we spent all night talking. I was a good student in school who preferred hanging with the teachers asking questions after class to goofing off with my classmates. We were together for 9 years and then I lost him to AIDS-related encephalopathy. During those 9 years he helped me get an education and we bettered our careers enough to buy a house together. I miss him still.
Not every May-December relationship is as healthy as ours was, I admit. But don't assume they are all unhealthy, either. Find out what brought them together, what keeps them together, and what benefits each one brings to the relationship before judging them. As long as the younger man isn't being damaged in some way, I don't see what the fuss is about.
My partner is 30 and I am 73. We have known each other for almost ten years and lived together for five. He only likes the company of men over fifty, whilst I prefer those under that age, as older seem to bore me.
He has a good job whilst I am fairly disabled, although I can manage to look after the house.
I was an only son of a mature couple, who married for convenience; she lost all her money and divorced, whilst he was pressed into producing an heir by his older, spinster sisters, all because of the need to have someone to inherit their fathers (too much talked about) fortune.
I was never a lover of what is now called 'the gay scene' but I was completely infatuated with men of my age, that age group remaining with me all my life.
I have LOATHED being homosexual, believe me, as I have never been able to feel the same about life and living as others. I would NEVER attempt to obstruct the sexual life of any gay person, as 'this is how it is', I regret to advise you.
TRY, hard as it may be, to accept that your son is homosexual, not through choice and that his choice of partner is just that. It's more than likely that they will have a happy time together and should be allowed so to do. However, in my long experience, homosexual relationships seem to have a shorter shelf life, with regret. Nothing can alter this statistic.
Homosexuality is a FACT of life and not a choice, however each individual chooses to deal with their lot. Given life, all will survive, so better accept this and get on with your lot, as best you can.
Don't curse any and don't waste time praying to any type of these many unidentified 'gods' or their feathered friends, nor do you approach any earthly 'do-gooders' who are only bigots, absolutely.
I've written this to all you strangers, in the hope it's helped you to look at this indisputable fact of life in another but educated fashion.
I am 51 and my Boyfriend of 2 years is 20. It was love at first site for both of us. We have so much love for each other that it can't be explained. He is the most caring and compassionate person that I have ever met. He has a big heart and a wonderful soul. We are at a place now that can be a turning point. I don't ever hold him back. Told him that I want him to grow as a person and will never be the one to hold him back. Regardless of the outcome, hopefully my mentoring will move him farther in life. He told me that I am his soulmate and that no matter where we are, we will forever be linked together. For all of the others that think this is wrong, for us it is not. My children love him, my ex wife loves him, and everyone he touches just falls for him. I am going to enjoy our time together, because one day, I know it will come to an end. I just put it in God's hands.
I was in a relationship with a man 17 years older than I and we were together for 26 years .We did a lot of traveling and bought homes together.We had a wonderful family life and ,then he got ill and in 2006 passed away . I still have a lot of support from his family and mine .Age sometimes does'nt matter .it's all different situations ,......
I am a divorced single father of one. I teach. One of my pupils is 13 and has expressed an interest in me beyond what I normally encounter as a mentor. How can I avoid hurting him mentally, emotionally, etc.? I can't participate in a sexual relationship with him, but I do think the world of him. The brain develops until the age of 26. And, it may just be a phase for him. I want to support this boy, and be an outlet for him, but he is very attached to me. I need a way to explain to him that my declining his affections is not a rejection of him on a personal level. Of course I would never hurt him, but it seems this is hurting him at some level. Perhaps deeply. I care about that. So, what can I do to help him? He trusts me, and this is a very vulnerable profession as this pertains to me, and a very vulnerable point in life as it relates to him. Again, I would like to remain available as an outlet for him, and I have no sexual interest in him. Every remedy I think of seems to have great potential for lingering damage. Any perspective out there?
The homophic people who post on here dont realise there showing the world how sick there thinking is. You have to feel bad for them as the reason they say these things is because that is how they where rasised or because of there bad exsperences with others. The people who are the most outspoken againest homosexuality are that way because of there own gay feelings which they may not even realilise be cause they suppressed them All the wise cracks and insaults and violence is there way of dealing with there own hang ups. As we know many I mean thousands use to think the world was flat and that the earth was the center of the universe. The church made Galileo lie about it or get tortured and lots told Columbus he was crazy and was going to fall off the edge of the world. My point is that some take a lot longer to face facts When they where taught lies. And the people around them are not civilised or educated and still live by archaic thinking. hurting or forcing someone to have sex is bad no matter who you are or what sex you are or what age you are. judging Who someone else loves, well how many people say or think they need to get someone elses aproval before they love someone. Do you think any one who had a negitive remark on here first went and got approval from everyone before they made love to someone? Or did they get her drunk so they could take advantage of her? Like I seen so many guys do to younger girls while I was in the milatary over seas. Now there is a real problem to look at. And using Violence to make people do what you want them to do another huge problem. The good thing is the internet lets the nut jobs post so the rest of us can see just how sick they are. Gay love has been around for thousands of years. If some people didnt like it. It would of disappeared long ago. Why a person is so interested in other peoples sex life is a good question. And the ones who are hidding there real feelings and hating others because of there own mental problems they are a problem. They are the ones who should not be around children. peace
and for the homophic people who post on here. You have to feel bad for them there a produce of there poor up bringing. They dont even realise that by posting there archaic thinking there just proving to the world how sick they are. Remember the catholic insurrection where they made Galileo lie and say the earth was the center of the univere and the sun and planets revolved around the earth and Same with Columbus and those who said the earth was flat. They also thought they knew what they where talking about. And could not face reality. The ones who speak out the most againest honosexualily are the ones who most have gay feelings and most likely dont even know that is there problem. Even criminal insane people justify there actions. But not with reality or proven facts. These people are dangerious and should not be allowed around children. peace
dear Dad. If you did a great job of raising you boy for The last 18 years You should have nothing to worry about. If not its kind of late to research now what to do. At 18 he could of very easy hide what he is doing. But looks like he isn't. And Dad does your father influence and judge your sex life? I was in Vietnam with other 18 year olds There where no parents in the combat Zone. Please make sure your supportive and there if he needs you. If you did your job as a parent im sure he will be fine. If he made a mistake he will really need you then. We all make mistakes just hope he is smart enough to be safe.
From a conservative woman's perspective, this wife is out of line with her jealousy and needs to take a step back. Do human beings enjoy looking at other good looking humans? Of course they do. Did she marry a guy? Yes. Hopefully she was already aware that guys liked sex before she met you. Turning into a screamer will not change that but it will teach her husband that telling the truth about himself is not ok. If porn is overused, a partner can be left out in the cold. That doesn't sound like the issue here. Women are valuable and can be extremely beautiful at all ages, even hers.
As to the best friend's cousin, he is a sleeze bag who is not her husband. That guy's personal history does not translate to all guys or the whole industry. If she has an issue with his past behavior, she should take it up with him and leave the husband out of it. Otherwise, it's just a ruse to deflect attention away from the fact that she is terribly jealous. That is an issue she should work on because it can and will drive any good partner away. It's uncalled for.
My partner is 21 years older than me; we've just celebrated 36 years together. I'd do it all over again. 18/31?? What's the big whoop? Calm down.
Being someone who needed, and had, a Top Secret security clearance, I totally understand why discovering that his mate might be addicted to ANYTHING would terrify him. He should proceed very carefully.
I think it's a little creepy for a 31 year old to be seriously dating an 18 year old, but hell I had lots of sex with 20ish guys until my late thirties.
Stories such as this are uplifting. There should be far more of them. Each time I read of a gay couple, regardless of sex, my first thought is "Fantastic! Two more people who won't be contributing to the gene pool."
If no one hits on him he is being marginalized because of his race. If someone does hit on him it is an interracial fetish. Sounds like a person seeking to be perceived as a victim, to me.
I'm 47 my boyfriend of seven years is 22.and it's all good. We're not here to make you happy. We make each other happy. At the end of the day that's all that matters to us.
I don't see this story but the one about the guy who gets hurt from house girlfriend's stubble. There is another option... He could bring a bowl/ bucket of warm water, a towel and washcloth, shaving cream and her razor into the bedroom some night and ask if he can shave her. Not only is this erotic and a good bonding experience but he can freshly shave the hair of that has caused him pain and show her where the hair is that she is either accidentally skipping over in the shower/ bath or just waiting too long in-between shaving.
My ex had the same problem and he did this with me. He told me about it and I tried to be extra careful to shave off the part that bothered him. Now I know where to shave a little more carefully. I mean it is a little hard to see where exactly the hair is down there when you are a female. So it is very easy to miss a spot.
I am not sure this will solve the problem completely but sounds like it may work.
" I was tired of the fear, lying and hiding" says it all. Relationships are not built on monogamy or even sex. They are built on trust. That applies not only to the primary relationship, but also to any "other" relationships. If it has to be a secret, it is wrong. You might be surprised how many people have a second long term romantic relationship with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved and without the knowledge of anyone else.
People think from their own perspective. If your mate makes unfounded accusations about YOUR activities, assuming you are not doing anything to cause it, then what he is actually saying is: "If the shoe was on the other foot, that is what HE would be doing. Therefore, that is what YOU must be doing."
Being a person of 40 now and looking back on my life I wish I'd never agreed to a relationship with an older man. I met him when I was 17, and he was 45. We've dated for years and years, however, once gay marriage became legal I wanted to get married. He's so opposed to it, he says we don't need a piece of paper to prove how much we love one another.
Well, he's now 68 years old, and has a little Hispanic guy working for him. My partner is always saying how much he appreciates the 22 year old Hispanic guy, and how hard the Hispanic guy works for him.
I used to work for him years ago doing a lot of the jobs the Hispanic guy does now, and when I mention it. My partner says I don't remember you ever doing these things, and then he'll say sorry I do remember. However, it's different with you because we're in a relationship, and he's alone.
He gives the Hispanic guy extra money for work, but not in checks (which are tax deductible) in cash. The Hispanic guy works for him, and he'll write him a check. Once my partner writes him a check he'll ask him "don't you think you deserve more money?" He'll then proceed to give him cash. I found out he was giving him cash because the Hispanic guy told me one day to tell my business partner he really appreciated the extra $50 he left in his tool box. I asked what? What do you mean an extra $50...he proceeded to tell me my (business note business) partner leaves extra cash in his tools quite often.
I confronted my partner about it and he said he'd done it only twice because he thought he didn't charge enough for his work. Well last Sunday the Hispanic guy was doing some work for us on a piece of our property, and I walked over to the back-door of the property. There was my partner staring at him, and my partner didn't realize I was standing there and said "Bless his heart he's working with his hands because the saw is broken". I said what? Partner was shocked I was in the room, and jumped.
I said what do you mean he's working with his hands, and what do you mean the saw is broken? He told me while he was using the saw to cut some limbs the saw broke, I asked how does a saw break itself? He then said the chain suddenly jumped off the saw, and the bar holding the chain got bent. I asked how? He said The Hispanic guy was using it and it got caught in a limb, and the chain suddenly jumped off the bar, and the bar bent.
MY point in writing this dissertation is because no matter what if an older man is attracted to younger guys/boys he's never going to change. I'm attracted to men, real men it's never crossed my mind to date a boy.
I don't buy the garbage some people just feel younger, and are attracted to younger guys because they have more in common with the younger guy. If that were true then why did we spend the first ten years of our relationship with me going to clubs, travelling with friends, etc. if he had more in common with me than his own peers.
Oh, we were in couple's therapy and on my mom's death bed my partner proceeded to tell me he was most attracted to guys 12 - 15 years old. I've been with the pedo for over twenty years of my life and he likes 'BOYS'.
In reference to the 13 year old boy being around the 50 year old man. Scream, yell, rant and rave in the streets if you have too, but just get that 13 year old boy away from that sick pervert. No mentor is going to ask a 13 year old boy to spend the night with him. It's not normal, and even if the child has come out and his parents, plus asked the old fart to be a mentor to him. They can find a much younger mentor. This man is a pervert...he likes boys, and no-one will ever convince me other-wise.
I was molested by my minister when I was 15, and I strongly believe it's the main reason I dated older men. There was a time I felt safe with older men, but younger men can make you feel just as safe. Younger men can fall in love, younger men can also have great sex with you without falling asleep.
I'm certain some gay people will blast me for writing this. However, there are far more gay men who are older attracted to younger guys than there ones attracted to men their own age. It’s a control thing…the younger man/boy is much easier to control. Men are men, no matter if they're gay, straight or bisexual...most all of them don't think with their minds.
My partner who I've dedicated my life to for over twenty years, and am tied up in business together is now looking at someone young enough to be his grandson. It' disgusting....
If he lives long enough they'll soon be young enough to be his great grandson.
sex is not "assigned" at birth - at least it should not be by whoever is doing the assigning because gender is determined AT CONCEPTION: two x chromosomes results in a person who can have a baby etc., that is, a person who manifests as female...an x and a y chromosome results in a male (active) energy manifesting person amen?
but in this slavery genocide and imperialism based nation in rebellion against God called the u.s.a. somebody (the social system?) (who?) "ASSIGNS" to a newborn a RIGIDLY CIRCUMSCRIBED role based on having a penis or not - the rigidity is so great and all-pervasive (like the RACIAL RIGIDITY) that if you want to manifest any meaningful trait or traits of the "opposite" gender you have to go all the way and have your balls cut off or have a penis and balls sewn on...why else other than that extreme rigidity of role expectation and assignment would somebody go through all the pain and trouble and expense of "gender reassignment surgery" and life-long hormone treatment?
and they still haven't done it completely: the new man cannot impregnate and the new woman cannot conceive amen?
anyhow and anyway your TRUE IDENTITY is not your gender or your favorite sex act but intead THE LIFE IN YOU ID GOD AMEN!?
and the AMAZING GRACE AND TRUTH OF GOD is a GREATER pleasure than even multiple orgasms amen?
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