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Comment Archives: stories: Columns: Everybody Loves Baby

Re: “Questions about disability

Thank you so much for your thorough and thoughtful comment msmelrichard! I especially liked what you said about how we'd view these individuals if society didn't dictate that they were disabled. It's given me a lot to think about. Thanks again!

Posted by aarreaza on 06/03/2013 at 9:26 AM

Re: “Questions about disability

My brother has cerebral palsy, so I don't really notice when there are others around who are disabled. If someone speaks to me directly that is disabled (I've worked in several restaurants, etc), I treat them like anyone else unless it's clear they need me to slow down, explain more clearly, and then I do but not in a condescending way, just as I would with a person who has never been in a Starbucks and didn't know the difference between a latte and a drip brew. Again, I grew up around not only my brother, but people from his summer camps, Special Olympics teams, etc. so it's kind of second nature. Also, my kids have been around their uncle since their birth, so they have the same kind of inherent acceptance, I think.

My brother has never commented on what it feels like to be stared at...I don't know if he even acknowledges or cares. He's extremely happy and content with life, likes to talk to lots of people, so he works on a college campus where he can meet and talk to lots and lots of people, and he LOVES it. If he's ever been treated differently or poorly, he's never ever mentioned it. Like I said, I don't know if it's even on his radar is someone is staring.

Don't pity them. Admire them, and even envy them a little. My brother seems to have sailed through his teens and twenties with an enormous social life with no worry about what he's going to wear or who's talking about whom or keeping up on gossip...he's SO in the moment it's glorious! He's never met someone he can't befriend in just a few moments. His disability seems to break down social barriers and he has a charm that radiates through it so that he can make anyone smile. That's a gift, and many of his disabled friends are the same way! It's like...if society didn't dictate that they were disabled, perhaps we would think they are actually above us in some way, with their endless love and boundless enthusiasm, curiosity, and zest for life!

To help with your kids, see if you can't volunteer, as a family, with a local Special Olympics or some other event or organization for the disabled. Immersion is key, as I've found with my kids...if you plunge them into an environment, they'll adapt way quicker than you and quicker than you would imagine they could! My kids have volunteered at food banks, shelters, and many other organizations where they are surrounded by people of all different races, backgrounds, etc.

Good luck, and thanks for being sensitive and empathetic enough to reach out and want to help your kids be more compassionate! Great mom!

5 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by msmelrichard on 05/31/2013 at 1:24 PM

Re: “Conversations (not) about race

Who's the punk ass? A 17 year old kid getting stalked by an armed adult for no apparent reason, or a grown man who can't handle a fight with an unarmed child, so he shoots him?
NDO, your comment makes it sound like a crime for a black teenager to walk down the street at night. Perhaps it is in your mind, but not in reality. This identifies YOUR argument as painfully stupid.

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Erin Tracy-Blackwood on 04/26/2013 at 11:40 AM

Re: “Conversations (not) about race

Still using the picture from when he was fourteen, and immediately identify your argument as painfully stupid.

Trayvon was a thug, plain and simple. Live like a thug, die like a thug. The kid had been in trouble countless times at school (which is why his parents sued to have his record sealed from Zimmerman's attorneys), his 'girlfriend' has now admitted to lying about the phone call she had with him before he was shot, and he'd been moved to his father's because his mother (now a millionaire after suing the homeowner's association) couldn't handle him any more.

Here's what happened. Kid was walking around, not needing to worry about school because he was suspended, looked suspicious, was confronted by an ADULT neighborhood watch officer and decided to 'represent' or whatever the hell it is they say now. He picked a fight with a grown man and ended up getting shot. Had nothing to do with race, had to do with being a punk ass and getting what they get, just desserts. ANYONE, whether they were black or white, would have shot someone attacking regardless of whether they were black or white.

The media ran Trayvon's baby pictures and turned it into a big race deal when two years earlier Zimmerman was organizing the community to help a black homeless man that had been beaten. All Zimmerman really did was save us from having to pay for this loser when he ended up in jail in two years, having god knows how many kids he wasn't going to raise beforehand (like his parents).

Pick a new martyr, even the media knows this story's BS at this point.

2 likes, 4 dislikes
Posted by NDO on 04/10/2013 at 7:14 PM

Re: “Bathing with young kids is no big deal

I agree, there are much bigger problems in the world than bath time with the grandparent. Being a solo father of a 4 year old daughter, I made the decision to stop taking showers with her at the time when she attempted to point out and grab my "tail." :-) Despite it being easier to wash her hair in the shower, I value the sanctity of a nice, relaxing shower a wee bit more. That being said, when she trots off to visit the family, whether or not the grandparents are taking baths with her is the least of my worries at this age.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Mike Madden on 03/17/2013 at 4:17 PM

Re: “Conversations (not) about race

DLP, I think you are right in part...but do you think the confrontation would've happened if Trayvon had been white?

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by aarreaza on 03/10/2013 at 1:31 PM

Re: “Conversations (not) about race

I don't understand why so many people are trying to use Florida's "stand your ground" law to justify the shooting of Trevon Martin. The confrontation was initiated by an arrogant person who thought being a member of the neighborhood watch made him a law enforcement agent. If anyone had the right to stand his ground it was Trevon.

I bet that confrontation would never have occurred if George Zimmerman had not been armed.

4 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by DLP on 03/10/2013 at 11:05 AM

Re: “Race consultant should come to CMS

While it's true that I can't guarantee my kid will be a good student, I can assure you that I will be an involved parent who will do anything in my power to make sure he performs well and his school improves. Parental involvement is key to the success of a school.

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by aarreaza on 02/01/2013 at 2:18 PM

Re: “Race consultant should come to CMS

"His neighborhood school needs children like mine to improve - children from middle-income families with involved parents who will work to make the school better."

What if your child ends up being a horrible student and actually a black eye on the magnet school? Seems awfully high-hoped on what your child will become. Desiring better opportunities makes sense, but because of legitimate accomplishments and not your personal feelings? TBD.

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Justin Haugens on 02/01/2013 at 9:58 AM

Re: “Kids and politics

Poke:

You have bought into the Republican lie that rich people are all rich because they have made themselves that way with superior intelligence and work ethic.

It is easy to cherry pick the roster of extremely rich and find some rags to riches success stories, but the majority of those people started with a huge advantage over the rest of society. To cite one famous example, it's pretty hard to start a venture capital company (remember when we used to call them corporate raiders?) with no money and a community college education. To clearly demonstrate his disconnect from the real world just look at his admonition that you can get that Harvard education and a start in business by borrowing the money from your parents. He believes that everyone has parents who can afford to lend their children huge sums of money. That logic is like saying "It's easy to make millions of dollars a year, just get a job as an NFL starting quarterback". "Anyone can do it if they really try."

Wealth does not "trickle down", it flows up. The rich people get their money by getting you to give them yours.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by DLP on 10/30/2012 at 7:50 AM

Re: “Kids and politics

Looking to Government to take care of all your needs is a very bad plan. And thgat is what Democrats want. Remember, what Government giveth, Government can taketh away. In the case of your money, what Government taketh, Government pissith away.

1 like, 2 dislikes
Posted by Pokeinthenose on 10/29/2012 at 3:51 PM

Re: “Kids and politics

So you have a profound dislike of Mitt Romney? But Obama and his Administration's inept handling of the attack on our embassy in Libya and their continual lies and cover-up in the wake of that attack is just fine and dandy? Democrats are going down the exact same path they merrily went hand-in-hand with Slick "I did not have sex with that woman" Willy. You are blantanly refusing to see the scandal before your eyes...and yes, it is a scandal. Obama is going to take down the Office of the President with his incompetence and lies and the Democrats are going to back him all the way simply because he is "Our Boy".

1 like, 2 dislikes
Posted by The Ugly Truth on 10/29/2012 at 3:48 PM

Re: “Kids and politics

Yes! We're unschoolers, and an unschooling friend posted this yesterday: "The only expectation I have of unschoolers is that they attain adulthood with their sense of selves intact." Exactly! So much in our society works *against* that; your son is lucky you had this awareness and will not be! It's in me *living* my values, not espousing or enforcing them, that my kids have learned my values, and feel free to live their own.

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Caren Knox on 10/08/2012 at 10:55 AM

Re: “Boys and Girls

Both times that we were expecting, many people asked us if we were hoping for a boy or a girl. I always gave the same answer and it was absolutely honest: "We honestly do not care as long as it has one head, two arms, and the feet point forward." That was my way of saying that we were hoping for a normal, healthy, child. Maybe it was just me remembering Thalidomide.

Posted by DLP on 09/28/2012 at 7:21 PM

Re: “No sleep till... who the hell knows?

I agree. Americans, as a society, are afraid of everything and every one. It's pathetic.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by DLP on 09/22/2012 at 8:37 AM

Re: “Hey! Commissioners! Leave them kids alone!

What is sad is that people who hate others because of their ethnicity don't even know that they are bigots. They rationalize their hate by hiding it behind some other issue, like "my tax money".

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by DLP on 08/19/2012 at 9:09 AM

Re: “Hey! Commissioners! Leave them kids alone!

Are you saying that CMS determines its students' citizenship status by looking at their birth certificates? That isn't possible! For example, my birth certificate says I was bor in Havana, it has my parents' names, my birth date... Nowhere does it say that I'm a US Citizen.

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by aarreaza on 08/17/2012 at 10:07 AM

Re: “Hey! Commissioners! Leave them kids alone!

Um, yes. The point is that the article is incorrect. CMS captures birth certificates and their database has every students 'birth place' and citizenship status. if it is 'wrong' to ask for immigration info why aren't liberals up in arms that CMS even collects birth certificates and citizenship info in the first place? Or do liberals just object to the public knowing. Perhaps they are OK with the government keeping tabs.

1 like, 4 dislikes
Posted by mayberry on 08/16/2012 at 8:05 PM

Re: “Hey! Commissioners! Leave them kids alone!

Um, no. Just because someone wasn't born in the US doesn't mean they're undocumented. And foreign countries issue birth certificates too, which CMS accepts in order to determine what grade kids belong in, not their immigration status.

3 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by aarreaza on 08/16/2012 at 7:43 PM

Re: “Hey! Commissioners! Leave them kids alone!

CMS already determines immigration status so they already know the names and school assignments of illegals. Why you ask? Because CMS requires 'birth certificates' to enroll. So, why would CMS require a birth certificate if any ol illegal can enroll without one? Because CMS tracks illegals. This isn't about asking them to track - it is about the public knowing how many illegals are using taxpayer resources. Here is a link to CMS’ own web site:

http://www.cms.k12.nc.us/cmsdepartments/St…

1 like, 4 dislikes
Posted by mayberry on 08/16/2012 at 3:51 PM

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