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A syllabus to get you through nightlife 

 

While those in the workforce celebrated Labor Day by not laboring, the kids all went back to school. And while college is synonymous with partying, those in the workforce are on a graduate level of nightlife — they don't have to allocate their liquor money to buying books.

I went to Virginia Tech for undergrad, where you had three bars and went keg-tapping and cow-tipping otherwise. In Charlotte, you have countless bars in different neighborhoods, and clubs that allow unders on certain nights. Charlotte students have a lot to live up to with the nightlife alums, so I've compiled a syllabus to help aspiring students get a 4.0 in partying.

Nightlife is more than just Mixology and knowing your liver-to-tequila ratio. So here are the Cliff Notes for partying ...

Academics: Trivia night at any bar will suffice.

Performing Arts: Choose your elective — karaoke or dancing.

Cultural Studies: See a show at Blumenthal or go on an art crawl — take in some sort of culture. There's much more to nightlife than riding a mechanical bull.

Human Sexuality: A night out is kinda like a show on the Discovery Channel — you send out an animalistic mating call, and dancing is everything short of humping legs.

Psychology: After participating in a therapy session in the girls bathroom, you'll have passed this course.

Nutrition: Absorb the alcohol in your stomach following a night out at some place like Mattie's 24-hour Diner.

At UNCC, the cool kids go to Wild Wings University on Wednesdays for $1.25 beers. They also hit Boardwalk Billy's on Thursdays and The Flying Saucer. Queens College has Montford Drive, the most frat-tastic street in Charlotte, and Davidson College has the Brickhouse. And of course, there's college night: the Pub at Gateway and Whisky River on Tuesday, Suite and Halo on Wednesday, Alley Cat on Thursday and every night is college night at BAR Charlotte.

Party it up now because there will be a multiple-choice test next week.

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