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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (May 15) 

Take a hike

Impressive Stash: Police picked up a man in northeast Charlotte just as he prepared for takeoff, though he was nowhere near the airport. Officers showed up at a house after a call involving a drug complaint and found a man who was admittedly in possession of marijuana buds, marijuana wax, 10 hits of LSD, hashish and two Ziploc bags full of magic mushrooms.

What a tool: A 45-year-old woman called police after her uncle tried to give her a sloppy haircut during an argument. The woman told officers that the two were arguing and pushed each other before calming down. Ten minutes later, the altercation flared up again, and this time the uncle decided to take matters a bit further. He allegedly picked up a 4-foot-long garden tool with a tree pruner and an ax on the end of it. The man began swinging the tool at the woman's head. When the fearless woman countered him in an attempt to defend herself, the handle of the tool struck her in the head.

Take a Hike: A frustrated woman finally turned to the law after a man reportedly used petty strategies to stalk her for five years. The woman filed a report stating the man had been harassing her since December 2009. She says he began with the usual creepy-guy stuff, sending harassing messages to the woman's employer and posting Facebook messages about her, before moving on to more annoying fare. She alleges the man has continuously signed her up for promotional email offers and requested travel brochures in her name so they are sent to her home.

Stuff It: A drunk man took advantage of everyday items during an assault in Uptown last week. The man was heavily intoxicated at Time Warner Cable Arena, so two employees asked him to leave. He allegedly attacked one of those men first, ripping his eyeglasses from his face and stomping on them. The suspect then reportedly took off his sock and shoved it into the face of the other employee. He later tried to pull away from police officers and refused to place his hands behind his back, which more often than not leads to an ass whooping or at least a pile driver.

Risky business: Chaser's, a gay bar in the NoDa area that is known to have dancers now and again, was busted last week for operating a sexually oriented business without a license.

Make Up, Break Up: Police responded to a domestic disturbance call after a woman scratched the hand that feeds her in northwest Charlotte. The suspect's ex-boyfriend told officers that he was delivering food to his former lady's house when she attacked him, scratching his chest and hitting him on the back. He tried to escape the enraged woman's home when she reportedly stepped in front of him, blocking his exit and begging him to stay.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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