Easy Access: A train derailed in west Charlotte after an unknown suspect gained access to the track controls, proving the "red-button effect" really exists. By simply pulling a liver, the suspect caused three railroad cars to fall off the tracks, causing $10,000 in damages.
Pill poppers: Police responded to a shoplifting call on The Plaza after a group of men worked as a team to steal painkillers. Employees at the store told officers that five unknown suspects came in and began shoving bottles of Tylenol, Advil and Aleve into their pants. The men made off with a total of 45 bottles of pills.
Dumping dogs: A 45-year-old man called police last week after helplessly watching a dump truck from an unknown construction company back up to his front lawn and drop huge piles of construction debris into his yard. In an unrelated incident, a 31-year-old man confronted some men about illegally dumping trash near his home. One of the suspects threatened to shoot the victim while the other used a police baton to smash out the windows of the victim's car. Now, if that ain't trashy behavior, we'll kiss your ass.
Come Dancing: A 32-year-old woman filed a police report against an unknown man after alleging he hit her forearm because she wouldn't dance with him. She told officers that she wanted to sign a warrant against the suspect even though she has never seen him before and has no idea who he is. Meanwhile, Mystery Dancer is currently in the clear.
Really!?: A 37-year-old woman filed a police report in south Charlotte after she claimed someone damaged her property. The woman told officers she had put up pictures supporting Penn State University during the recent sex-abuse controversy. She said someone came and tore them down. Um, don't cops have more important things to do in south Charlotte — like retreiving someone's Bengal cat from a tree?
Cold caller: A 17-year-old girl called police when a man ran off with her prepaid cell phone after she let him use it. The girl called the man repeatedly and then texted the phone to warn him that she was calling the police. The man texted her back, "I don't care."
Threat of the Week: One classy suspect took the big honors this week after sending multiple email rants to an 18-year-old girl. One of the suspect's more brilliant pearls: "It won't be a firecracker next time, it will be a gun you fat fucker."
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.