Jail Bird: A 25-year-old man called police after he was beaten up by his girlfriend during an argument. The man told officers that he was arguing with the woman because he claimed that she never took responsibility for her actions. The woman got mad and slapped him in the face several times. She also used her fingernails to scratch him along the cheek until he bled. The woman was arrested and taken to jail, where she will be forced to take responsibility for her actions.
Big Balling: Police responded to an assault call in Uptown last week after a 33-year-old woman was allegedly struck in the face with a big bag of money. One might imagine a person would get belted in the face by a bag of cash at a place called Club Caviar.
Dish disaster: Police responded to a vandalism call in the University area last week after someone decided he was going to tear down a satellite dish, one way or another. A 76-year-old man told officers that the known suspect drove through his yard and ran straight into the dish, which was completely pulled from the ground. The suspect also had a steak knife, you know, in case plan A didn't work out.
Hot head: Police responded to a domestic disturbance call in a local apartment complex last week to find a couple that had just been in a "heated" argument. A 55-year-old woman told officers that her husband grabbed and pushed her down several times because she had turned a fan on inside their apartment.
Seafood sinners: Three men robbed a local Captain D's seafood joint near midnight recently and quickly decided they should repent. The police report states that the men made off with at least $150 in cash and a small brown Bible that belonged to the business.
Bumpy ride: Police responded to a disturbance call on Graham Street last week and found a 24-year-old woman who appeared to have been beaten up. The woman claimed the suspect was an unknown man who had brought her to the parking lot where she was found. But she could not tell officers who the man was, where she met him or why he had brought her to the parking lot. A man in the area approached police and told them that the woman had become upset with him because he wouldn't give her money. She then began trying to damage cars by throwing her entire body into them.
Threats of the Week: A 20-year-old woman filed a police report after a man texted her a picture of his gun with a message reading, "It starts now." The same man sent her a text later that said, "You strike a nerve in me that make me want to kill."
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.