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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Aug. 23) 

Stolen wind chimes, mixed signals, more

Isn't It Ironic?: A man with a gun wound was brought to the emergency room last week. When police showed up to talk to the victim, he told them "he was attempting to make his handgun safe" when it accidentally fired. Alanis Morissette would be proud.

Lazy Boy: A mother filed a missing persons report after her son desperately tried to get out of his chores. She told officers she was working in the yard one afternoon and asked her son if he would help her. Instead of simply refusing to help, the 14-year-old ran away from home and still hadn't been seen two days later.

Follow Those Tracks!: A suspect who stole wind chimes from a home must have realized he stole from the wrong house. In addition to the stolen items, the victim told officers, her property was vandalized. It appears the suspect didn't realize the victim had just laid concrete on her front porch. While attempting to steal the chimes, the suspect ran through the wet concrete, leaving behind a trail of shoe prints. Time to chuck the Chucks.

Woman Power: A local man figured out the hard way that his girlfriend was not the type to be pushed around. The man was arguing with the woman last week when he pulled a knife on her. The woman slapped it out of his hands before he could use it. He then pushed the woman and was trying to choke her but she was able to push him off. As the poet once said, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

Damaging Words: A man was arrested for vandalism last week after a woman tried but failed to keep everything orderly in her home. The 30-year-old victim told police that the man, her boyfriend, was trying to horseplay with her. She yelled at him to stop because he might break something in her home. The man got mad that she "would talk to him that way" and started punching holes through her walls. Way to be proactive, buddy.

Threat of the Week: A 27-year-old woman filed a report last week after receiving multiple phone calls from a man who couldn't make up his mind. She told officers that in one of the earlier phone calls, the man had said, "I'm going to tap that ass." When he called later on, he told her, "I'm going to beat your fat ass." Talk about mixed signals.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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