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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Aug. 28) 

Bad bb

Alive and Well: Threatening phone calls and text messages are sent and made every day, and they aren't anything to laugh at. Except this one. A man received a phone call in which the caller said, "You are f--king dead." The victim was, in fact, at Hooters, probably enjoying a beer and some chicken wings. And you don't get much more alive than that.

Slick Bandit: Anyone with dry skin will certainly sympathize with a suspect who reportedly walked out of a CVS without paying for some Aveeno Intense Relief Lotion and Aveeno Skin Relief Moisturizer, valued at $16.98 and $19.98, respectively. Not stopping there, the suspect also stole a stick of Degree deodorant valued at $11.37. Eleven dollar deodorant? What has the world come to?

Lost and Found: In case anyone is missing some live ammo, live shotgun shells and a backpack with three empty shotgun shell boxes, a report was filed after someone turned them into police as "found." In an unrelated incident, someone found a .22 caliber Remington round at gate B12 at the Charlotte-Mecklenburg International Airport and reported it to police. To be fair, there are worst things you can find in an airport besides an intact bullet.

Tell it on the Mountain: A climber was left in the lurch, figuratively speaking, recently after thousands of dollars worth of equipment was stolen. Among his gear were some climbing and hoisting ropes, a pully system, sweep gear and a winch — whatever that is. The victim should be thankful his gear wasn't stolen while he was using it; that would not have been pretty. Instead, it was taken from an apartment.

Bad BB: Someone wanted to distance himself as much as possible from his BB gun, perhaps before he put his own or someone else's eye out. A man turned in the gun to police and requested that it be destroyed. The police report doesn't list a specific reason for his decision.

Sorry, Baby: Let's hope this kid never finds out what his dad did one bad day in 2014. A man called 911 to report that he had found an abandoned baby. The suspect later admitted that this was not truthful, and the baby was in fact his son.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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