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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Aug. 30) 

Found: "a large bone of an unknown type"

Bone To Pick: Objects that were used as weapons last week include a longboard, a piece of exploded firework and a pack of gum. In an unrelated matter, police in the University area responded to a call reporting "a large bone of an unknown type" in the middle of Gandolfo Court.

Scatalogical Bop: Police responded to a disturbance call at a local hotel last week after a tenant became belligerent during an argument with management. The manager told officers that the two got into it when the suspect started yelling and throwing things. The woman then threatened to kick the manager's face in, which prompted the manager to call the law. While waiting for police to arrive, the suspect returned to her room and "soiled it with human waste and removed her belongings." We're curious what the jail looked like after her stay.

Dumb As Rocks: Police responded to a "false pretense" call last week after a man was caught trying to scam a local Walmart. The manager told officers that the suspect tried to return a hard drive for a cash refund. The man had actually taken all of the equipment out from inside the hard drive and replaced it with some rocks. The man was arrested on the scene. We wonder if he used the contents in his skull as filler.

Tank Half Empty: A 28-year-old woman called police last week after her car was stolen despite its empty gas tank. She told officers that she ran out on Independence Boulevard and walked to the nearest gas station for some fuel. She returned to find her car had been stolen. Apparently thieves these days carry extra gas on them for occasions such as this.

A Real Pistol: Police and medics responded to a shooting call off Statesville Road last week after a man's weapon accidentally fired, injuring his hand. That happens, but usually in the privacy of a home. This guy was a vendor at a gun show. As the NRA says: guns don't kill people — they kill stupid people.

Start Off on the Wrong Foot: A man was arrested at Sketchers at SouthPark Mall last week and could have easily landed his daughter in the slammer with him. Police reported that the man put a new pair of shoes on his daughter's feet and let her walk out of the store before him. When he tried to leave without paying, he was arrested.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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