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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Dec. 13) 

The case of the missing PBR, more

The Fighter: An officer at Ashley Park filed a report last week after having a run-in with a kid who was either too stubborn or too stupid to make a good decision. The officer said that he received an email from a teacher stating that someone had broken into her office and stolen an iPod, a zip drive and a YMCA jacket. She informed the officer that she had just seen a student walking in the hallways wearing the jacket. When the officer confronted the student, he refused to turn over the jacket. When the officer told him he would take the jacket, the kid had the great idea of putting his arms up as if to fight. He was quickly wrestled to the ground and handcuffed.

Tough Spit: A 27-year-old man called police after his car was vandalized as he drove it. The man told officers he "accidentally" cut a car off and the car drove up next to him. The driver of the "suspect vehicle" rolled down his window and threw a cup full of tobacco spit onto the victim's car. Only in the South.

Merryjuana: A law-abiding couple returned home from vacation last week to find that someone had delivered an early Christmas present. The couple told officers that there was a box waiting for them at the front door of their home. When they opened it, they found a large amount of marijuana inside. They immediately called police instead of extending their vacation a few more days.

Final Inspection: A real estate company filed a police report last week after one of its tenants left a small mess when they moved out. The company claimed that the suspect clogged the drains and then left all of the faucets running in the apartment. They also ripped the cabinets off the wall in the kitchen, broke some windows, kicked all the closet doors in, put the light fixtures in the toilet and ripped the thermostat off the wall. The suspects wrote, "Jesus, Jesus saves, Jesus is watching, you reap what you sow," on the walls in red and blue paint.

Greasy Getaway: The management at The Penguin Drive-In in Plaza Midwood called police after someone snuck onto their property overnight and made off with what we can only assume to supplies for a great party. The suspects climbed over a barbwire fence and stole $500 worth of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Miller High Life. They also took a barrel of grease valued at $600. Wrestling match, anyone?

Secret Santa: A teacher at Berewick Elementary School was shocked to find one of her third-grade students sharpening his pencil with a box cutter last week, but was even more surprised by another student's "generosity." When the boy told her his friend gave him the weapon, the teacher found that kid and searched him. She found another box cutter, and he told her he had given more out to students. A follow-up search turned up a third box cutter in a third student's desk.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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