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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (May 2-8) 

Baby Maker: A 28-year-old woman called police last week after a man exposed himself to her in perhaps the worst place one could commit such a crime. The woman told officers that she was browsing around the infant department in a local Target when the man approached her from the back and pulled out his own small baby.

Cut Ties: A 34-year-old woman filed a police report last week after someone damaged her property. She told officers that as soon as she tied her dog up behind her west Charlotte home, it ran off without any restraints. She checked the tie and saw that it had been cut clean, most likely with scissors. She told officers that there is one spot in her yard where someone can lean in and reach the tie with a pair of scissors.

Gunpoint: A 53-year-old man called police last week after being robbed with his own gun. He told officers that an unknown man was helping him get into his car after he locked his keys inside. When the man got the car open, he noticed the victim's Hi-Point 9mm pistol. The man grabbed the gun and told the victim he was going to keep it. The victim couldn't really argue with him.

Faulty Merchandise: Police responded to a local Books-A-Million last week after a suspect got away with shoplifting, but not with much. Employees told officers that the man attempted to steal multiple video games from the business by putting them under his coat and running from the store. The man was quick enough to escape but didn't know that the cases were all displays — and empty.

Immobile: A 36-year-old handicapped woman called police after a domestic dispute turned ugly. The woman told officers that she had been arguing with her boyfriend when he started to become belligerent. The man then picked up the woman's wheelchair charger and threw it through the window. She was able to retrieve the charger but it was broken, leaving her with no way to move once her battery runs out.

Co-worker From Hell: A 44-year-old woman finally called police after she says she was harassed at her workplace over the span of a week. She told officers that the first sign of trouble came when the suspect placed her two personal heaters in her trash bin without permission. She also says her life was threatened when the man told another co-worker, "I feel like killing her right now."

Nemo No More: A 37-year-old woman filed a police report after an unknown suspect did some major damage to her very poorly secured patio. The woman told officers that she had tied the screen door shut before leaving, and when she returned, the knot was untied and the door was open. The suspect pulled some solar lights out of the ground and threw them into the yard. They turned her plants over and poured debris into her koi-fish pond. She also found that all of her koi fish were dead, and they were bloated "as if they had been fed something unusual."

Angry Cook: Police responded to an assault call off of North Tryon Street last week. The 24-year-old victim told officers that the suspect assaulted him by throwing a can of hot cooking grease at him, which landed on his arm and chest. After that, the suspect told the victim that he was planning to pour sugar into the gas tank of his car.

Monkey Business: A man staying at a hotel off of Sugar Creek Road last week called police after learning that his car had been broken into. The victim told officers that the suspects had broken his window and stolen two bananas before fleeing the scene. Perhaps police should check local zoos for any missing chimps.

Threat of the Week: A 31-year-old woman in north Charlotte called police after receiving a call in which the suspect stated, "I can't kill you over the phone, so just give me your address." Another victim received a call at her job in which the suspect stated, "I am going to beat you up. I just don't care. I'm just going to bring the police with me."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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