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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Oct. 25 edition) 

$3 fail, a stolen wig, more

Dollars and Nonsense: Police responded to an assault call in west Charlotte to settle a really cheap dispute. A 54-year-old man showed up at his neighbor's house looking for $3 that he said was owed to him. The neighbor told him he didn't have that much money and tried to shut the door — but the man stuck his foot in the doorway. When the debtor kicked it out, the "victim" fell on the front porch and began groaning. He told police he planned to sue the man.

No Nutritional Value: Walmart employees spotted a man stealing a $50 bag of dog food from the store last week. One even followed him out after calling police. The man then took his bag of dog food into a Food Lion where he was finally confronted, but only after he tried stealing a pack of Slim Jims and a bag of gummy worms.

School Yard/Prison Yard: Police might have thought they were in prison instead of South Charlotte Middle School last week. A 10-year-old girl reported that a male classmate had been following and provoking her. Officers confronted the boy, who they found carrying a type of homemade shank: a paper towel rolled into a cone with a sewing needle taped to the end. Maybe his ex-con dad taught him the trick?

Bad Hair Day: An employee at Carolina Beauty Supply was assaulted last week by a woman in desperate need of a makeover, apparently. The employee told police that the woman entered the business and grabbed a piece of a wig before leaving. On her way out, the employee tried to confront her. The woman punched her in the face and left the store.

Mechanical Failure: Police responded to a local mechanic's garage after he was played for a fool by a man he tried to help. The suspect came to the garage to find out why his "check engine" light was on. So, the mechanic used a machine to diagnose the problem. When the mechanic was distracted, the man moved the $700 diagnostic machine to his passenger seat and drove off.

Threats of the Week: A 43-year-old woman filed a police report after receiving a call that would leave any parent feeling homicidal. She told officers that a man she knows called her several times and said, "Tell your daughter I want to fuck her in two years when she is legal." ... A 29-year-old woman got scared when a man she knew drew a picture of her. It was not flattering; rather, a drawing of the victim's body pierced by knives.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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