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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Sept. 6) 

Almost death by wood chipper, rubber robbers, more

Feed the Tree: A 22-year-old called 911 after coming frighteningly close to suffering one of the worst deaths imaginable while landscaping in south Charlotte last week. The man told medics he was feeding a tree branch into a wood chipper when the machine got hold of some rope he was holding onto, dragging him toward the grinding metal. He was able to free himself and only suffered minor bruises and scratches.

Foreign Dignitaries: An 80-year-old woman filed a police report last week after she was scammed out of $1,900. The woman received a call from a man claiming to be her grandson, whom she apparently doesn't know very well. The man said he was in trouble abroad and needed bail money. Another man got on the phone claiming to be a sergeant with the U.S. Embassy in Peru. She sent the money and never heard back. When she received a call the next week from the man saying he was in trouble again, she hung up the phone and called police.

The Gift of Ganja: Police found more than they bargained for when responding to a "shots fired" call on Idlewild Road last week. When officers arrived, they were summoned by a witness who lived nearby. He explained what he had seen as he stood in front of one of the windows of his home. Officers smelled the strong odor of weed coming from his house and asked if they could search. Inside, they found a Remington rifle, a box of ammunition, 647 grams of marijuana, two scales and $2,080.

Prank Caller: A man was arrested for misusing 911 last week after calling eight times and screaming at whoever answered. The man then called the south division police station and threatened the person who answered.

Rubber Robbers: Two suspects got away with shoplifting from an Uptown CVS last week. Employees confronted the suspects, who threatened them with weapons. They made off with cough syrup and condoms. We're just glad to hear they're practicing safe sex.

Threats of the Week: A 20-year-old woman filed a report after receiving calls from a blocked phone number in which the caller said, "I am the boogeyman, and I am going to get your mother, too." A 42-year-old man received some phone calls from a man who hadn't exactly mastered the Ten Commandments. The man called him and said, "If you show up to church this Sunday, I am going to fuck you up."

Blotter items are chosen from the file of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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