June 08, 2010 News & Views » The Blotter

Pin It
Submit to Reddit
Email
Favorite

Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files 

By

Population Control: Employees at a local Wal-Mart called police after a man stole something that they no longer wanted. An employee was in the back of the building disposing of a large amount of expired yogurt; an unknown suspect approached and asked if he was throwing the items out. The employee responded that he was getting rid of them because they weren't edible. The suspect then grabbed a case of the yogurt and drove away.

I Get Half: A 56-year-old woman called police after being threatened repeatedly by two known suspects. One of the men repeatedly made unwanted calls to the victim, and the other threatened to "cut her car up with a chainsaw" or run her off the road if he saw her driving. Even when I'm just trying to pull some simple harassment, my friends always have to one-up me.

Give Me One: Employees of a South Carolina distribution company filed a police report after losing some of their merchandise in the Charlotte area. They told officers that a slushie dispensing machine that they owned was stolen from a convenience store on Milton Road. I sure hope that I find whoever did this. And if you think that's because I'm going to turn them in, you're crazy.

Step On A Crack: A 43-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a known suspect. She told officers that the suspect left her a voicemail that stated, "If I see you on the street, I'll fuck you up." I would keep it to the sidewalk for at least a couple weeks.

Peace Out: A man called police after becoming worried that his friend might be in harm's way. He told officers that he was riding with the victim, a 42-year-old woman, and before long he arrived at and entered a local McDonald's restaurant. The woman then drove off, leaving him stranded. The marooned victim stated that he has not seen the woman since, and thinks she was headed to Bradley, S.C., to see relatives. You've been dumped in the most embarrassing way. Call a prostitute, not the police.

Family Reunion: Police were called to a house in Charlotte last week after a domestic dispute turned into something resembling a riot. A 20-year-old male and female admitted that they repeatedly punched each other while the male was holding the couple's baby. Several other family members became involved in the fight and "used a broomstick to strike each other." The father of the baby then picked up a brick and threw it at his baby mamma's vehicle. This baby will learn quick how to build things, break things, clean and fight.

Bad Timing: Police responded to a call involving a domestic dispute in Hickory Grove after a woman was assaulted by another man. The woman told police that she was on the phone with 911 dispatchers when the man walked up to her and slapped her in the face. I hope someone does the same thing during that one phone call you're going to get.

Yard Art: A 22-year-old woman called police after her scooter was stolen from a parking lot. She told officers that the scooter must have been carted or driven away, due to the fact that it has an inoperable ignition, no license plate and is not drivable. You could always hook it up to a hydraulic lift, and turn it into one of those rides in front of Wal-Mart.

White Trash, Black Mail: A 28-year-old woman called police after being blackmailed by an unknown suspect. She told police that she started receiving texts last week, stating that if she didn't pay the suspect $13,000, she would be fired from her job and physically assaulted. Three days later the calls and texts stopped, but an e-mail was sent to her place of employment. If I could just please see that e-mail ...

Lady Gaga: A 44-year-old woman called police after being assaulted by her boyfriend. She told officers that the man "poked her face." (I know what you're thinking ... so just do us all a favor, and get your mind out of the gutter. Pervert.)

Take A Walk: Police were called to a home in the Charlotte area after neighbors became worried about the safety of the children living in the residence. The reporting neighbor told police that she saw a 2-year-old walking down the street alone. Police also found another baby girl, just a few months old, inside the home with no adult supervision.

Threat of the Week: A 41-year-old woman called police after she and her children were threatened via text message. She told officers that she received 11 messages in two days, and the last one read, "Your kids better not be on the street or they will encounter a near-death experience." And this was right about the same time they stopped serving Criss Angel drinks at the bar.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

More The Blotter »

Pin It
Submit to Reddit
Email
Favorite

Latest in The Blotter

Calendar

More »

Search Events

all events
concerts
restaurants
movie times

Most Popular
Most Shared
Most Commented

© 2019 Womack Digital, LLC
Powered by Foundation