January 18, 2011 News & Views » The Blotter

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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files 

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The Great Heist: A 19-year-old man called police after being robbed by two unknown suspects. He told officers he was standing in front of a local Exxon when two men dragged him into a car and kidnapped him. The men didn't hurt him but ultimately robbed him of $15 and a Black & Mild cigar. If you're going to take from a poor college student, at least make sure the victim just bought a fresh pack of smokes.

Burnin': A 16-year-old boy called police after a high school classmate was threatening him. He told officers the fellow student yelled, "I got my tool for you. I'm going to put that burner on you. I'm going to beat your ass. I'm going to get you after school on Monday." The suspect then taunted the victim for walking away. The 16-year-old is the only adult in this column this week. Probably the most adult-like behavior we've seen in this column ever, actually.

Competition: A 30-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a co-worker. The victim told officers that the suspect called her and stated, "If you work in the next few days, you need to decide if you want to show up and fight it out or you just want to give up and not show up." I bet the suspect in question is probably a manager — if so, this boss has an odd way of motivating her employees every morning. The victim stated the suspect is angry with the victim over a personal decision she made. Like to stop hanging out with the psychos from work?

Keeping the Spark: Police responded to a domestic disturbance on North Davidson Street and found a man who was bleeding from the lip. The man told officers that he and his wife of one year were play-wrestling and that's how he got cut. Oh yeah, and that bruise on your wife's face is from a Wii Fit injury, I'm sure. For your second anniversary, I'd recommend not taking her to a shooting range.

Eye For An Eye: A pair of friends in their late 30s called police after they both received threats from two men they know from the neighborhood. The victims told officers that one suspect called and stated, "I will find you and he and you are going to die." The second suspect called later and stated, "You put my boy in the hospital, and I am going to put you in the morgue." The two victims said they've been having problems with the first suspect. It sounds more like he's been having problems with you.

Factory Girl: A 16-year-old boy called police after he was assaulted by one of his classmates during a school field trip. The kid told officers that he was enjoying an off-campus trip to the N.C. Music Factory when a fellow classmate from Northwest School of the Arts started hitting him in the head, nose and lip with her fists. The victim stated that the girl was upset with him over an earlier disagreement he had with her sister. Of course, the girls are beating up on the guys at Northwest School of the Arts.

Hoarder: A 42-year-old man called police after someone stole something from his home. The man told officers that an unknown suspect stole a pumpkin off his front porch late one night. It is now January; the guy was probably doing you a favor. I'm surprised he could even pick it up without the whole rotten thing falling apart in his hands.

Loyalty: Police responded to a domestic disturbance at a bar in the Plaza Midwood area after a fight broke out late one night. Witnesses told police that the fight started when a big man who had too much to drink punched his wife. A group of about five men who witnessed the incident jumped on the man and assaulted him. The woman who was punched then tried to hit the men who were attacking her husband, telling them to stop. That's just a bad night for a guy — getting punched in the face by a woman he's trying to help.

Just Another Night: A 31-year-old woman called police one morning after realizing that her car had been vandalized overnight. She told officers that she had been awakened by several gun shots the previous night but thought nothing of it and went back to sleep. When she woke up the next morning, she realized that someone had shot into her vehicle several times. You know you live in the 'hood when there are people shooting in your driveway, and you can't be bothered to get out of bed.

Threat of the Week: A 53-year-old woman called police after the father of her children threatened the entire family. She told officers the man called her 300 times and sent 430 text messages. In one of these calls, the suspect stated, "What I need to do is just burn the house down. What I need to do is strangle you or kill you and kill the kids and kill myself." What you need to do is get a big hug.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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