The Jerk: A 41-year-old teacher at James Martin Middle School filed a police report for simple assault after one of her students tried a little too hard to get her attention. She told officers that she was walking through the aisles of desks in her classroom while students did their work when suddenly a boy grabbed her arm with both hands and began tugging up and down violently. The victim's arm was not injured.
Wheeling Away: An employee at a pawn shop on Central Avenue called police after a man snuck one past him quite easily. The employee told police that they had been carrying a mini dirt bike when a customer asked if he could try it out in the parking lot. The trustworthy employee gave him the go ahead, and the man took off into traffic as soon as he got the bike started. The suspect did not return.
Ride Together, Die Together: A man called police to his home on North Tryon Street last week after someone vandalized his 1996 Chevrolet Tahoe. Police noted that someone had used black spray paint to write threatening messages on both of the victim's rear doors. On one door the suspects wrote, "YOU BITCH YOU GOIN DIE." Fortunately for him, he wasn't alone. "YOU AND JIMMY" was written on the other door.
Post-op: A person who wanted to remain anonymous, not even listing his or her age or gender for some reason, called police because he or she woke up to find that someone had stuffed his or her mailbox full of women's shorts, bras and underwear. Hmm.
Freeze!: Employees at Azura Medical Spa called police after being duped by a patient. The manager told officers that a woman came in for an appointment and was treated with $726 worth of Botox and was given $60 worth of facial products. When she got to the desk to pay, she told the employee at the desk that she must have left her debit card in her car. It must have been hard to tell she was lying, what with all the Botox in her face, because she sped off and never returned.
Herbie Fully Loaded: Two police officers rolled up on a suspicious vehicle on a back road near Lake Wylie and found four equally suspicious men sitting on the ground around it. The officers could easily see that the men, along with two more in the car, were preparing to smoke weed together. They searched the vehicle and seized multiple glass pipes, a grinder, two vaporizers, two stone pipes, a bag of weed, a large bong and a scale.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.
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