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Woman grows tired of errant phone messages

A few months ago, I started getting hang-up calls from numbers I didn't recognize in Boston. Then weird texts started showing up, trying to set up "dates." I responded to the first few because I figured someone was giving out a fake number that just happened to be mine. (I kept my cell phone when I moved from Boston to Seattle.) But after the fourth or fifth call/text from a different unknown number, I turned to the Internet. Google informed me that my phone number is identical, except for area code, to a trans escort working in Boston. I'm getting one or two calls or texts per week meant for this other woman. They've started to get more explicit. Because of the time difference, they come at weird hours. I don't know what I should do. I can ask my phone company to block each number individually, but that's a pain in the ass. I can text the correct area code to the men who are writing to me looking for the trans escort, but I don't really want to help people too stupid to read a phone number correctly. I suppose I could report the whole thing to the Boston police, but I doubt they'd care, and I don't have any moral objections to sex work, I just don't want people to call/text me asking for it. Aside from changing my phone number, which has been my sole number for almost eight years, anything else you can suggest?

Stupid Phone And Messages

You claim to have no moral objections to sex work, and you say you're a tolerant person. But you're thinking of siccing the police on a trans sex worker — and for what? One or two calls or texts per week. As pains in the ass go, SPAM, that sounds like a pretty piddling one.

You know what constitutes a major pain in the ass for a sex worker? Being harassed by the police and swept up in the criminal justice system. You're right, the police are unlikely to drop everything to solve your problem. But you shouldn't call the cops on this woman regardless. If your call was answered by a lazy cop who would rather hassle trans sex workers than go after criminals who are actually hurting people, this woman — a woman who hasn't really harmed you in any way — could wind up getting badly hurt. The criminal justice system is rough on sex workers generally, and it's absolutely brutal to trans women who do sex work.

Here's another idea, and a better one: Call the trans escort and have a conversation with her. You've got her number. Talk to her.

As distressed as you are to receive these calls and texts, that sex worker will probably be more distressed to learn that she's losing so many potential (and numerically illiterate) clients. I have known and loved a few sex workers — loved in a strictly platonic sense — and most would change their professional phone numbers regularly to rid themselves of time-wasters and clients they didn't want to see again. The sex worker whose calls you're getting may be willing to change her number, or at least emphasize the correct area code in her ads.

The best way to demonstrate that you don't have a moral objection to sex work is to assume sex workers are reasonable human beings and treat them accordingly. Because sex workers are human beings, SPAM, and most human beings are perfectly reasonable. If we were talking about a Fox News personality, my advice might be different — but we're not talking about a Fox News personality, are we?

I am a 58-year-old gay man. I have never been attracted to women sexually and never had sex with a woman. However, a few months ago I stumbled across some trans man porn (thank you, Buck Angel!) and was incredibly turned on. I would totally go down on or fuck a hot trans man. Am I still gay?

Transmen Have Ripped Open Wonted Notions

"I get this question all the time," says Buck Angel, a trans male porn star. "You are still gay, my friend. Trans men like myself who present 'male' consider ourselves men. So THROWN is still attracted to a man — just one who happens to have a different set of 'balls.' It does not make him any less gay. He's attracted to the masculinity of the trans man. Some people think that genitals are the deciding factor in gender. This is far from the truth! So don't stress it, THROWN, and go have some fun!"

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