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Mourning in America 

I'm a longtime fan — reader and listener — and part of the 47 percent of white women who did NOT vote for Donald Trump. To say I'm disappointed, horrified, scared, and mad about the election is woefully insufficient. I donated $100 to Planned Parenthood this morning because I honestly felt like there was nothing else I could do. That being said, I wanted to share that I had one of the most weirdly charged, hottest, and sexiest orgasms. A little buzzed (dealing with those election results) and sad, my boyfriend and I turned to each other for consolation. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, we were fucking as Trump came on the TV to give his acceptance speech. As that orange blowhard spewed more bullshit about being our president, I rode my boyfriend's big, beautiful dick until I came. It was the perfect way to say, "Fuck this. Now fuck me." I encourage all your readers to fuck out the stress from this election. Yes, we should donate and volunteer and speak up and protest and vote and not give up hope, but we should also keep doing it and taking care of each other. Because love trumps hate, and fucking trumps... well, I'm not sure what fucking trumps. But it sure makes life better.

Justifiably Unsettled Lass Intensely Emoting

It's important to practice good self-care in the wake of a traumatic event — the election qualifies as a traumatic event — and going by the definition of self-care at GoodTherapy.org, fucking the living shit out of someone qualifies as self-care: "Actions that an individual might take in order to reach optimal physical and mental health... Self-care [includes] activities that an individual engages in to relax or attain emotional well-being, such as meditating, journaling, or visiting a counselor." They're too polite over at GoodTherapy.org to include "fucking the shit out of someone" on their list of examples, JULIE, but what you did on election night certainly meets all the criteria.

We must also donate and volunteer and protest and vote, all while reminding ourselves daily that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. And we must commit to defending our friends, neighbors, and coworkers who are immigrants (documented or not), Muslims (American born, immigrants, or refugees), people of color, women seeking reproductive health care, trans men and women seeking safety, lesbian and gay men seeking to protect their families, and everyone and everything else Trump has threatened to harm, up to and including the planet we all live on.

My boyfriend is undocumented. His sister married a US citizen and may receive a green card. We had hoped to someday do the same. But next year, the extreme right will control all three branches of the federal government. Deportation will surely come for my boyfriend. Additionally, we're a gay couple, and Donald Trump has pledged to repeal marriage equality, if not ban it outright. So if we were to marry now, the timing would look suspicious. And even if we did marry, that marriage is likely to be invalidated in the coming years. Is it still worth it to try? What do I do if the government takes away the love of my life?

Keep Him Home

You should marry your boyfriend immediately, KHH, and do so with confidence.

"There is no realistic possibility that anyone's marriage will be invalidated," said Shannon Minter, legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights, which has taken marriage-rights cases to the US Supreme Court (and won).

Minter also says the court is unlikely to overturn Obergefell, the decision that legalized same-sex marriage across the country.

"The doctrine of stare decisis — which means that courts will respect and follow their own prior rulings — is also very strong, and the Supreme Court very rarely overturns an important constitutional ruling so soon after issuing it," said Minter. "Even the appointment of an anti-marriage-equality justice to replace Justice Scalia would not jeopardize the Supreme Court's 2015 ruling on marriage equality, and the great majority of Americans still strongly support the freedom of same-sex couples to marry."

To contact Dan Savage, email mail@savagelove.net.

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