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Not-so-sweet 16 

Teen needs to keep feelings about friend's mom to himself

DEAR READERS: I'm currently on vacation. This week's column includes a couple of recent Savage Love Letters of the Day. (The SLLOTD goes out to folks who have the Savage Love app for iPhone and Android.) I hope everyone is having a great summer, and I'll see you soon. — Dan

I'm 16 and I like my friend's mom who is 35. She's married and has two kids. But I really like her. What should I do?

Help One Really Needy Youth

Here's what you shouldn't do: You shouldn't say anything — not to your friend, not to your friend's mother — and you certainly shouldn't try anything.

Here's what you should do: You should masturbate about your friend's mom just as much as you like — and you should take the advice I gave another horny 16-year-old boy a couple of months back (this one happened to be gay, but the advice still applies):

"Worry less about getting your 16-year-old self laid and more about getting your 20-year-old self laid. Get out of the house and do shit, get books and read shit, volunteer for a political organization and change shit. You'll have more boys to choose from in a few years and be a more interesting, informed, and attractive guy thanks to all that doing, reading, and volunteering. Beat off in the interim, of course, but remember to vary your masturbatory routine (left hand, right hand; firm grip, soft touch; with toys, without; lots of lube, just a drop; etc.), and try to cultivate your own erotic imagination. (Translation: Don't jerk off to Internet porn exclusively; use your imagination once in a while.)"

Lots of straight boys your age have crushes on their friends' mothers, and lots of men had the same kind of crush at your age. It's a great fantasy, HORNY, one that fuels entire porn genres. But the potential benefits — a few orgasms for you and maybe one for your friend's mom (if you're any good at this sex stuff, and, at 16, you most certainly are not any good at this sex stuff ... yet! You will be one day!) — aren't worth the potential costs. A destroyed friendship, a broken family, and, depending on age-of-consent laws where you live, a long prison term for your friend's mom — those are high prices to pay for a few lousy orgasms. And that's assuming your friend's mom is even interested, which she almost certainly is not.

So beat off about her, HORNY, to your part's content. Then go do shit, go read shit, and go volunteer and change shit. You'll meet girls, some closer to your own age, and you'll be a more interesting, fuckable dude for all that doing, reading, and changing.

I have a boyfriend of two years. At the beginning of our relationship, I caught him cheating on me. Not physically cheating, but he was talking to girls and they would send him pics. We worked everything out and now we trust each other. But a few weeks ago, I caught him watching porn. He doesn't know. It doesn't bother me that much, but I was wondering if it could lead to him cheating on me again?

Sent From The Savage Love App For iPhone

All men watch porn. Some lie and claim they don't, some are so stealthy they never get caught, but all men watch porn. If watching porn led to cheating, SFTSLAFiP, then all men would cheat. But not all men cheat. So we can safely say that porn viewing doesn't cause men to cheat. Because all men watch porn. But not all men cheat. Thank you for playing Savage Love. (OK, OK: A handful of men don't watch porn. But their numbers are so small that the average girl's chances of ever meeting a non-porn-watching guy — let alone dating one — are so small that we don't need to factor them into our equation.)

I'm a straight guy into intense bondage — extended scenes, sensory deprivation, whole-body casting — and the only people who have the gear and are willing to do it for free are gay guys. I "laid my kink cards on the table" at three months, per your past instructions, and told my girlfriend that I sometimes get tied up by guys. She understood. It turns out that she's been reading your column since she was 15. She's not worried that I'm gay; she didn't ask me to stop. Just writing to say thanks.

Only Gay For Bondage

You're welcome, OGFB. Give my regards to the girlfriend.

CONFIDENTIAL TO EVERYONE: Make porn! Details on HUMP! — the annual porn festival that I host in Seattle and Portland — are here: www.humpseattle.com. And this year's grand prize is $5,000!

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