"I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?" -- Pres. Bush in a handwritten note to Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice while seated at the United Nations, as reported by Reuters News Service.
"I wanted to get people talking. I did that. It also got me fired." -- Columnist Jillian Bandes of The Daily Tar Heel, the student paper at UNC-Chapel Hill. She was canned for allegedly misleading sources for a column that began, "I want all Arabs to be stripped naked and cavity-searched if they get within 100 yards of an airport."
"We're getting hammered down here, but at least we're not in New Orleans." -- Ken Scheider of Wilmington, NC, when asked about conditions during Hurricane Ophelia.
"I'm insane, but I'm not completely dumb." -- Johnny Depp, discounting rumors that he will soon open a club in Las Vegas.
"All this water is bad enough but having the ground open up, that's just too much." -- New Orleans resident, refusing to be evacuated to San Francisco.
"Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. The only difference is this: Tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina." -- Jon Stewart, The Daily Show.
"A lot of schools believe that isn't the image they want of their cheerleaders." -- Susan Loomis of the National Federation of High Schools, explaining why the group has now banned cheerleader outfits that show their midriffs. Next up: Donna Reed heels?
"We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did." -- Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA),
-- compiled by John Grooms
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