December 16, 2015 Arts » Performing Arts

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Six reasons Amy Schumer would make a great therapist 

...and other reasons why we love her

By
click to enlarge Amy Schumer performs at Time Warner Cable Arena on Dec. 19.
  • Amy Schumer performs at Time Warner Cable Arena on Dec. 19.

2015 has been a good year for Amy Schumer. On top of the premiere of her debut feature Trainwreck — which she wrote and starred in — she also released a new comedy special, Amy Schumer Live at the Apollo. But that's not all. She performed several opening gigs for Madonna (yeah, the Madonna), made the cover of GQ, climbed into bed with Star Wars robots (a threesome that rocked the galaxy), hosted an episode of Saturday Night Live, picked up an Emmy for "Outstanding Variety Sketch Series" for Inside Amy Schumer and it was just announced she's been nominated for the 2016 Golden Globe Awards. Watch out, Jennifer Lawrence!

Currently on a nation-wide tour and stopping by Charlotte for a performance at Time Warner Cable Arena on Dec. 19, we tried to get in touch with Schumer before the show but learned she wasn't doing interviews. Luckily, we could handle the blow, but it left us thinking about all the other journalists out there who must be coping with the rejection. Are they talking to their shrink about it this very minute? As a regular to counseling on her Inside Amy sketches, we started imagining Schumer on the other side of the couch. We think she'd make an excellent therapist and would love to have her input on our problems — a looming deadline being one of them. If her career in comedy and film ever fails, we'd suggest she hit the psych ward. Here's why:

1. You can talk to her about sex and ... relationships. She did, after all, write Trainwreck, a flick about one-night-stands, commitment-phobia and monogamy. And if the title of the flick makes you second-guess her cred, then remember she did pose naked with Star Wars robots, meaning the force is with her.

2. She won't judge you — or, maybe she will. Either way, something good will probably come of it. Schumer seems like a down-to-earth chick with some oddball characteristics. She also seems like the kind of person to tell it to you like it is. If she sounds blunt, she's probably just being honest.

3. She's anti-gun violence. She won't let you shoot yourself or others. Following shootings back in July during a screening Trainwreck at a theater in Lafayette, La., Schumer took a stand. She also nudged her cousin, Senator Chuck Schumer (a Democrat in New York), to seek new legislation limiting gun access for the mentally ill. Most recently, Schumer can be seen on the "We Can End Gun Violence" video put out by Every Town for Gun Safety, an organization advocating for, you guessed it, an end gun violence. President Obama, Spike Lee, other celebrities and survivors also starred in the vid.

4. You can trust her to make you laugh. Hell, if she can fill an arena, you'd better believe she's going to alleviate the awkward situation of you spilling out all your problems with some comic relief.

5. She knows how to write. Meaning, she'd be able to take good notes and write out numerous prescriptions. Schumer has a book coming out next year. Various sources claimed the title might be something along the lines of "The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo," but it hasn't been confirmed. Whatever it is, we're just happy to hear it's coming soon.

6. She can weigh-in on your weight issues. While making a claim to fame often means consuming more salads and less pasta, bread and booze, Schumer seems comfortable enough in her own skin to let loose every now and then. Drunk cake-eating? She gets it.

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