December 14, 2010 Blogs & Columns » Boomer with Attitude

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WikiLeaks goes local 

We have been given a document by WikiLeaks that contains a transcript of a meeting of the Republican members of the County Commission, discussing the proposed deal to make Democrat Harold Cogdell the Commission chair, in exchange for Republican Jim Pendergraph getting the vice chairmanship. In the interests of transparency, freedom of information, and higher ad rates, we present readers the text of the WikiLeaks document:

Jim Pendergraph: Listen to this. We've gotten an offer of a deal from Harold Cogdell, and I think we should discuss it.

Karen Bentley: From who?

JP: Harold Cogdell?

KB: Ugh. That's what I thought you said.

Bill James: What's the deal?

JP: He wants us to vote for him for Commission chair, and in return he'll support me for vice chairman.

KB: He wants to push out Jennifer Roberts? Cogdell?! You've got to be kidding; the guy's a first-class weasel, and a dumbass to boot. What would he know about being chairman?

BJ: Hey, that might not be a bad thing for us, though. It could be easier to get things on the agenda. Once he screws over Roberts, the Dems will treat him like the plague, and he could be, let's say, "persuadable."

Neil Cooksey: That's pretty sneaky, isn't it?

BJ: Oh, listen to the rookie. You're not afraid of real politics, are you, Neil?

KB: Give Neil a break, Bill. I just don't know that Cogdell can be trusted. If he's willing to stab Roberts in the back, who says he won't work against us once the deal is done?

BJ: Well, if he did that, then he wouldn't have anybody to turn to on the Commission for support of his own ideas.

NC: Ohhh, I see. If we support some of his proposals, he could help us by supporting some of ours.

KB: Now you're getting the picture.

JP: Personally, I think it's a great idea.

KB: Well, of course you would.

JP: Not just because I'd be vice chairman, dammit. Has anybody ever told you you've got a bitter side? Look, we have a lot that we'd like to do, and this could be our chance. I can't wait to get to work on getting rid of the immigrants that are taking over this city.

NC: You mean illegal immigrants, right?

JP: Whatever. I say make 'em all disappear.

KB: Jim, I can't agree that illegal immigrants are top priority. I want to see the Commission throw our weight around in the schools. Especially with the whole policy of throwing money at the poor schools. It's ridiculous; everybody knows those people aren't going anywhere in life, so why bother? I say we relieve the crowding in our suburban schools; that way, the real future leaders of the community can get the help they deserve. When I think of how my friend's son is struggling, just so little Chaneequa or whoever can have a computer, it makes my blood boil.

BJ: I agree with both of you, but I gotta tell you, if we can wrangle Cogdell into voting with us, I think our main goal has to be putting the kibosh on same-sex couple benefits.

JP: You mean for county workers?

BJ: Hell, I mean for the whole county. We could outlaw local businesses, especially the big banks, from furthering a radical gay agenda.

JP: I don't know about taking on the banks ...

NC: How about if we work on better coordination between county agencies and management, so we don't have any more DSS-type fiascos? We'd be saving money, and it'd make things more streamlined.

BJ: Neil, you're new here, so let me tell you something. The more DSS-type fiascos we have, the better it is for us.

NC: Huh?

BJ: Seriously. Do you think you'd be here, and maybe even Jim, if taxpayers hadn't gotten disgusted with the way the Dems were running the county?

NC: Well, I'd like to think it was my good ideas about government that got me here.

BJ, KB, JP: [General uproarious laughter.]

JP: Oh, man, that's a good one. Now, seriously, do we want to take up Cogdell on this, or not?

KB: Can you imagine Vilma's face when she finds out? Woo-hoo!

BJ: That'll be sweet. I just hope she doesn't hit anybody.

KB: And you can already hear George Dunlap sputtering, and going on and on about it ...

BJ: ... in that special incoherent way of his. [All laugh.]

JP: OK, how about if we take a vote? [recording ends]

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