It takes energy to be that anti-social. I'm glad you wrote about this and took the time to address so many aspects of this situation.
I'm comforted as one who experiences certain social symptoms in a small Texas town. Here, it is not racism, but that you must be related(!) or you are invisible and if visible, will be mistreated.
Love the article Charles- bringing awareness is always necessary- I especially appreciate that your sister engaged the "sitter" in a positive way showed character and strength, the fact he chose to be ignorant, dismissive, racist, rude or just 'special' (bless his heart) is his issue, that because of your positive approach has no strength. As an observation on American culture- I agree that we are becoming not just culturally insensitive but socially unaware, I often stand in line waiting to be acknowledged or checked out at Harris Teeter while the cashier talks loudly to her friend 3 aisles down about her night out, what food she just ate and what an ass her boyfriend is, the whole time consciously ignoring me- I am 6'4" with tattoos, bald, and white also tough not to notice- and this abject conscious decision to ignore me and not do your job in the service industry happens all the time- my favorite is when they begin to ring me up and continue talking over me and past me to their friend while smacking their gum. KEEP up the good work- love what you do
It is a shame that you even have to wonder. Of course, Mr. Rude did sit with the most interesting and entertaining people in the place, IMHO. I'm socially awkward, so I would never do anything like that to begin with, but if I had, I would have most certainly opened my mouth to say HI.
@DLP I agree that some folks are rude and self centered but the point is whenever race, class, gender or other characteristics are involved you are not sure if the behavior is motivated just from plan old rudeness or some other factor. Thank you for reading and sharing your views!
@Melyndag I also do not like when people crowd me in line while completing a transaction. It is like do you not still see me taking up this space? I commend you for defending your personal space....smile Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts on this topic!
@Godds Child Yes it would only add to the stereotype to go all "angry black person" on folks....LOL. I commend you for exercising your economic power when folks do not give the appropriate customer service. More folks should do the same. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts on this subject!
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Some people are rude and totally self centered. I does not necessarily have anything to do with race.
It sounds like a good ol' country case of "social retardation"... I could be wrong. It's hard to tell these days. I would have been uncomfortable too. I do not allow people in my personal space and I hate it when someone does that. I have asked several people behind me at the grocery store/walmart to please step back while I am completing my transaction. People will walk right up behind you as if they are trying to push you on out of the line or as if they are trying to see your pin number. Quite a few have been offended that I asked but most are very apologetic and they take steps backward. This man was rude and ignorant...
my opinion: not racist,yes he was ignorant to social graces..... Last year I was sitting in the middle of a large table waiting on my party to arrive when an entire family (multiple generations) came and sat down around me. Talk about uncomfortable. I don't remember their race just that there were tables around me that were open and they even had to get an extra chair so they could all fit w/ me. Now, I looked back and forth at them as they got their places situated w/ complete bewilderment in my eyes. WTH is this? No one asked, No one said anything to me. Everyone started talking about their family and who was going to tell U.Joe he needed to start pulling his weight. I am usually not at a loss of words but this was a new day. Well the youngest started to eat and was having trouble opening the package of sauce so I reached across the table and opened it for her. She said thank you and looked at the oldest person at the table and said, "see, I told you she was one of us". We all oddly laughed and then my actual party came up and took another table. I wished my new odd friends a blessed day and went to join my more normal friends. I don't remember their race just the unique manner in which this tribe went through life. Almost like no matter what you will like us. It is a given. They were right. Your guy seems like one of those who wants the interaction but doesn't want the interaction. Almost like after sitting down he wanted to be left alone. Maybe he is part cat?
i believe it was both ...due to the fact the person did not acknowledge you or your sister at all ..even when spoken to . seemed to be an unspoken dare to call out the offense . race and cultural require a lot of patience and i salute you and your sis for not "going all angry black person on them ", which is usually our go to strategy when frustrated . my pet peeve is waiting to be acknowledged while on line as the clerk banters ( usually on the phone , sometimes in person and happens especially in a cab as you explain the way YOU WOULD LIKE TO GO !) in their native tongue with no "i'll be right with you " . i've left many establishments and asked many a cab to pull over due to this ....i refuse to suffer in silence or spend my resources with anyone who makes me feel invisible !!!
@Daisean Mills you are so correct young brother artist that there is a double standard of how certain situations are handled. I know it would have been a very different scenario if I had sat down uninvited and acted as rudely as our unwanted lunch guest. Keep doing your thing and fight with your mind and talent. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts on this subject!
@D Barbara McWhite You would think just good old fashion social skills and home training would be universal but maybe not for everyone....lol Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts on the subject!
Daisean Mills, I like your attitude, brother!
Its crazy how if the tables were turned somebody would have said something or the police/security guard would have been called, it bothers me that I have to think about why a certain person of color look at me in a certain way and it all boils down to the color of my skin. 400+ years living in this place we call America we are still stared down and talked about when we walk away but we still bleed the same blood and breathe the same air and see the same shit(sorry for the curse word) as they do we are always the suspect when we should be the victims. But what i've noticed as i'm going through this growing up process is we can fight back with black excellence and the fact that he sat at the table with you at that specific restuarant means that we are winning
I hear you Scott, but the problem is not everyone accused is guilty, and the stakes are even higher with one of those crimes printed beside your name.
I feel these publications should only print/post mugshots of people after they've actually been convicted. It doesn't seem like convict info & mugshot pics would be any more difficult to gather than arrestee info & mugshot pics.
How about rude and weird. Anyone raised with rudimentary social skills knows it is rude to intrude at a public dining table without introduction or so much as a "May I join you."
Then to refuse to acknowledge the effort of your sister is beyond rude.
I'm not opposed to the printing or publicizing of photos of those that have been arrested, but it should probably be limited to those that actually pose a threat to society( murderers, rapists, child molesters, known con-artists or identity thieves etc.) not people that miss court dates for traffic violations and such.
I copied these two comments to be able to respond, I noticed that they were made in August of this year, 2013, I just now got to read this article today in September of 2013! At least these dear children will be in Jesus own home schools to go to with mommy as the most QUALIFIED teacher (who God commands us should NEVER work outside of the home and always submit to her husband and have lots of white babies) and learn that the Earth is only 6,000 years old, that Adam and Eve were real and rode Dinosaurs and that this is a 100% Christian fundamentalist only nation! They'll need all that faith for the life time of abuse, violence low pay and poverty libertarians, the Tea Trash and ALEC have planned for them!
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Posted by DoubleDogDiogenes on 08/12/2013 at 10:55 PM
Double...I understand your sarcasm, however, I'd like to point out that most Christians do not actually think that way and aren't as naive or uneducated as you portray them. I am a teacher and a Christian, and I'm just as disgusted with our state government. And, side note, the Bible actually commends a woman for working outside the home and notes a woman who does such things as respectable. Proverbs 31. :-)
This is what I have to say to Doubledog about his article! I am not a teacher or student anymore but you have just shown how ignorant some people can be on this subject! Why do you not go to the Word of God to see where you are wrong! However you choose to believe is between you and your creator and you cannot take some subjects from God's Word and just say whatever you want too no matter who it may hurt! If you truly know God's word and are claiming Christianity you would not post things such as this! I believe that the teacher who responded to you is truly a Christian because of how she answered your reply..think about it!!!
As long as partisan lemmings are gullible enough to let one party or elected official take the blame for things the entire government has been doing for years, nothing will change.
While he has done nothing to end, or even slow the growth of the domestic surveillance program, President Obama did not initiate it.
Gee, maybe in hindsight they shouldn't have reelected the Community Spy-in-Chief for a 2nd term. He is spying on every single one of us and is dragging us into yet another war. Hope and Change! 4 more years!
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