Well, that took Obama long enough, didn't it? After five years of endless obstruction by the far-right GOP nihilists in Congress, Obama finally decided to rely on executive orders in order to get anything done. Since last night's State of the Union address in which the president shared his new strategy, the usual goobers' cries of "socialist," "dictator" and such haven't stopped. Frankly, though, what did the tea partiers expect would happen if they kept making it nearly impossible for Congress to pass anything important? I am not comfortable with government by executive order, and there are serious limits on what a president can really do on his/her own, but as long as Republicans continue to fantasize about dictators throwing executive orders around, I say give 'em what they're expecting. With that in mind, here are some executive orders I'd like to see Obama hand out in the next few months.
- Pete Seeger is given a posthumous award as a national cultural treasure. He is also granted an expungement of his record regarding his 1961 contempt of Congress conviction after his 1955 refusal to "name names" or discuss his political views with the infamous, Stalinesque U.S. House Un-American Activities Committee during the repressive Red Scare days.
- Woody Guthrie's "This Land Is Your Land" is now the new national anthem. [Hey, this is fun; let's take it up a notch.]
- The Justice Department will conduct an investigation into Rep. Robert Pittenger's alleged 2003 finagling of an annexation by Waxhaw of land he owned, which resulted in a multi-million dollar profit for the future congressman from subsequent sale of the land. An official Complaint of Unethical Behavior was filed with the N.C. Senate Ethics Committee against Pittenger in 2003, and although Pittenger says the committee "found no wrong doing," the truth is that the committee never met on the complaint because too many of the members recused themselves due to their own business associations with Pittenger. Nice, huh? [You know, these dictatorial powers are pretty heady stuff. Let's get serious]
- All states will expand Medicaid as part of the Affordable Care Act, period, thus bringing health care to millions of America's most vulnerable citizens, pouring money into each state's economy, and driving people like N.C. Gov. Art Pope and Deputy Gov. McCrory nuts. [Wow, this stuff's addictive. More goodies for the 1 Percent, please, Mr. President.]
- Raise taxes on the super-rich by 50 percent. Outlaw moving money to offshore accounts in order to avoid U.S. taxes; existing offshore accounts will be taxed at 50 percent before being voided. Bigshot complainers will be arrested and sent to re-education camps until they agree to spend five years cooking for and feeding the homeless. [Woo-hoo, look at 'em run! Hell, let's go for broke.]
- America will begin a decade-long process of shifting money and personnel out of, oh let's say 75 percent of our nearly 1,000 military bases around the world. Money saved - and it will be very, very substantial - will be used to retrain military personnel for useful civilian jobs, and for a jobs program rebuilding the country's rickety infrastructure.
Wow, that was great. I wonder whether Obama will enjoy executive ordering as much as I did.
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