It's come time again for people to make trivial lists counting down everything of the past decade. The best and worse moments, things we'll always remember ... You know, that kinda crap.
Well, I'd be remiss if I didn't count down some of the Ho Anthems of the past decade because if I've learned anything from the past 10 years (8th grade to college graduation for me), it's that freaks just want to get loose. Juvenile's "Back That Ass Up" in 1999 spawned tons of songs encouraging the same behavior, even more, and no one seemed to complain.
Here's some of the songs that would be on a every two-way freak's greatest hits album from this decade.
Trina - "Pull Over" (2000)
Miami's Lil Kim told us early in the decade, what time it was. I mean literally, she said "ain't nan ho got mo booty in the butt," how could you not Woop! Woop! after that? This song holds special meaning because it was the first time I got grinded on for real, for real at a party. Ahh, 8th grade... good times.
Nelly - "Tip Drill" (2003)
It was the debit card swipe seen 'round the world when Nelly (and the St. Lunatics) made the video for this song an instant classic. It was also the beginning of the end for BET Uncut. The part-owner of the Charlotte Bobcats coined one of my favorite phrases in high school in the chorus by saying, "it must be her ass, 'cause it ain't her face."
Hypnotize Camp Posse - "Azz & Tittiez" (2000)
Well before their Academy Award, Three 6 Mafia's DJ Paul and Juicy J very simply told the world what they want out of a woman... repeatedly! Who's really against ass, titties and big booty bitches?
QB's Finest - "Oochie Wally" (2000)
Nas' side project to put his boys on was a long-term failure but a short term success. Jesus! Classic ho anthem.
Slimm Calhoun & Andre 3000 - "It's Ok" (2001)
Probably one of the most forgotten about Ho Anthems, this song from Outkast protege was pretty straightforward, "all these lonely hoes wanna fuuuuuuck!" and you know what, "it's ooookkkkkkkkk!" Don't sleep on Slimm Calhoun's other Ho Anthem, "The Cut Song," which was also pretty straightforward but easily digestable for would-be sluts, "you cut me girl and I'll cut you."
The beat was made from a squeaky bed sample! That alone should let you know that hoes will love it! Imagine the poetry. The sheer seduction of approaching a woman and saying, "What it is ho? What's up? Can a [N-word] get in them guts? Cut you up like you ain't been cut? Show your ass how to really get a nut?" Shakespeare himself would blush.
From the window, to wall, these guys were Ho Anthem repeat offenders but few could top this hit that made, "Ahh skeet skeet" a part of our collective lexicons. I mean, what ho could resist a guy rapping about the sweat on his balls?
Because guys are hoes too. This song was an instructional video on what every man whore should be doing but looking at Khia, the Thug Misses who had over 20 arrests on her record BEFORE this came out, I'd be hard pressed to think of anyone trying to lick her, back, pussy or crack! Hi-ooooo (Ed McMahon voice)
The bands were good and did their part of making a good show. I was…