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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The apocalypse is upon us...

Posted By on Wed, Feb 17, 2010 at 3:34 PM

It appears the end is near my friends. That’s the only explanation I can think of anyway. And it looks like 2010 is the year it’s all gonna go down. We are not even finished with February and already the signs are obvious. Don’t believe me? Here is a look at some of the “happenings” that have already occurred. If all this can happen in recent weeks, the future of mankind is all downhill from here:

* Sebastian Bach, lead singer of 80’s metal band Skid Row, has gone to fat camp. And is allowing VH1 to film it and show it to the world. Oh, and he’s on the show with the likes of Kevin Federline and Bobby Brown.

* Ozzy Osbourne wrote a book.

* The Who get chosen to do the Super Bowl halftime show in front of the largest audience in TV history. They proceed to lay the biggest egg since Jessica Simpson stepped out in her “big-girl” pants.

* Legendary producer Quincy Jones decides to remake "We Are the World" to support Haiti relief, adding "We Are the World" to the top of the list of songs that should never be remade because they sucked so bad the first time around. I know it’s for charity, but there are better ways to give than supporting bad music.

* Jane’s Addiction, Spice Girls, Oasis (again – minus Noel Gallagher), Aerosmith (minus Steven Tyler), Journey (with their reality show winning lead singer) are all staging “comebacks”. In other news, cotton ball sales are through the roof.

* Jeff Bridges stars in the movie Crazy Heart, about a down on his luck, washed up singer. The Oscar nominated actor, when asked to describe his character, said that if he were real, the character would have been the fifth Highwayman with Willie, Wayland, Johnny and Mr. Kristofferson. Any time you put the words Jeff Bridges and Johnny Cash in the same sentence, it can’t be good.

* A Jonas brother got married. Hopefully her name starts with Yoko and ends with Ono.

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