Saturday, May 30, 2009

It's a lost art

Posted By on Sat, May 30, 2009 at 7:53 AM

Whatever happened to the good ole days?

The days where boy meets girl ... boy asks girl out ... boy calls and confirms date with girl ... boy picks girl up ... they go out ... boy takes girl home ... and the cycle repeats until the next step is taken and, well, we're all grown. Figure it out.

The official art of courtship ... is now "dead and gone" — just like T.I. and Justin Timberlake's song.

Recent events over the past few months (hell, make that years) during my stay in the Q.C. has forced my hand to write this blog.

Something clearly is missing in the lives of the men in our generation, and I'm not pointing fingers. But I'm guessing its either how they were raised, their environment or simply put, it's the crew they hang around.

Or if we dig a little deepe,r it's actually part of the fact that this generation has lost the art of the "follow through" — aka "do what you say you are going to damn do."

What does that mean Meik?

Lemme break it down a little further for those on the slow bus: These days this is how it goes: Boy meets girl ... boy talks a good game and even makes plans with girl ... boy fails to call to cancel or reschedule and girl is left looking like boo boo the damn fool.

Don't get me wrong, it definitely goes both ways, but this is my blog so we're focusing on the men today.

I don't know if we need to blame the triflin' chicks who ENABLE this behavior and pat these fellows on the back, and then reward them with the peach cobbler. (And I ain't referring to the dessert.) But some of us have standards and this ish just CANNOT fly.

You wouldn't do that ish in a professional setting so why in your personal life?

It's really quite simple how to handle things:

1. If you don't like a person, TELL THEM (well, in a nice way of course). How hard can it be to be up front and honest and tell someone you just aren't feeling them?

2. If you have been asked to go on a date and you don't wanna go, don't agree to the ish; that eliminates the lies that I oh so despise.

3. If you just aren't interested in anything but a booty call SAY IT. You can fix your mouth to say other ish. Don't be scared now. Man-up and be up front.

4. All that rescheduling ish — and you know damn well you had no plans to go to begin with — why? Why waste folks time? Again, just tell the person that you just really aren't feeling them.

5. If you're sitting back waiting on a better offer, hell, do that then. But just have the common courtesy to let the other person know you dont want to be bothered because you waiting on your dream jumpoff to call.

Lesson Learned: Communication is key and without it, all you have is a bunch of misunderstandings, hurt feelings and if you're lucky enough to pick the right crazy fool, you may end up with a few flat tires. My advice: Stop stringing folks along if you aren't interested and put forth an effort in the ones you are interested in.

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Friday, May 29, 2009

No hugging--WTF?!?

Posted By on Fri, May 29, 2009 at 11:07 AM

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Comforting as the hug may be, principals across the country have clamped down. “Touching and physical contact is very dangerous territory,” said Noreen Hajinlian, the principal of George G. White School, a junior high school in Hillsdale, N.J., who banned hugging two years ago. “It was needless hugging — they are in the hallways before they go to class. It wasn’t a greeting. It was happening all day.”

This is the dumbest thing I've ever read in my life. The above statement comes from a New York Times article about hugging. We're not talking that ass squeezing hug that leads to panties and boxers getting tangled on the floor, but a simple hello hug between teens.

We live in a society where we try to scare the shit out of kids when it comes to sex and intimacy, then we wonder why these kids can't have normal relationships. Are you listening school administrators?

I'm no doctor, but I grew up getting hugs and seeing that affection is shown with loving touches. Maybe if we'd stop saying everything was wrong, stats like these would change:

In the United States, 33% of teens reporting some kind of abuse and 12% reporting physical abuse.

Nearly three in four tweens (72%) say boyfriend/girlfriend relationships usually begin at age 14 or younger. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)

62% of tweens (age 11-14) who have been in a relationship say they know friends who have been verbally abused (called stupid, worthless, ugly, etc) by a boyfriend/girlfriend. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)

Only half of all tweens (age 11-14) claim to know the warning signs of a bad/hurtful relationship. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)

More than three times as many tweens (20%) as parents (6%) admit that parents know little or nothing about the tweens’ dating relationships. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008.)

1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

13% of teenage girls who said they have been in a relationship report being physically hurt or hit. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

1 in 4 teenage girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

More than 1 in 4 teenage girls in a relationship (26%) report enduring repeated verbal abuse. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

80% of teens regard verbal abuse as a “serious issue” for their age group. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

If trapped in an abusive relationship, 73% of teens said they would turn to a friend for help; but only 33% who have been in or known about an abusive relationship said they have told anyone about it. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.)

Twenty-four percent of 14 to 17-year-olds know at least one student who has been the victim of dating violence, yet 81% of parents either believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don't know if it is an issue. (Survey commissioned by the Empower Program, sponsored by Liz Claiborne Inc. and conducted by Knowledge Networks, Social Control, Verbal Abuse, and Violence Among Teenagers, December 2000)

Less than 25% of teens say they have discussed dating violence with their parents. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study of teens 13-17 conducted by Applied Research and Consulting LLC, Spring 2000)

89% of teens between the ages of 13 and 18 say they have been in dating relationships; forty percent of teenage girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. (Children Now/Kaiser Permanente poll, December 1995)

Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser. (City of New York, Teen Relationship Abuse Fact Sheet, March 1998)

Of the women between the ages 15-19 murdered each year, 30% are killed by their husband or boyfriend.

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Today's Top(less) 5: Friday

Posted By on Fri, May 29, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, May 29, 2009–as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

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• After hours party at The Men's Club.

• Booty's bouncing 'til 5 a.m.

• Friday night Howl.

• Summer Camp at The Estate.

• Learn to manage stress naturally.

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

On Air With Alysse Stewart: Sex and the married man

Posted By on Thu, May 28, 2009 at 10:58 PM

Charlotte radio personality Alysse Stewart is back this week with a new episode of On Air With Alysse Stewart — her new Web-based relationship show.

This week, as the headline suggests, Alysse dissects "sex and the married man."

Take a listen to the show by clicking the "play" button on the player below:

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Get a free (sperm) facial from your man

Posted By on Thu, May 28, 2009 at 11:02 AM

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You know the shot in a porn where the man dumps his load in the face of the man or woman who just gave him a blow job?

Guess what? That's a $250 face cream at one spa. But why pay for what you can get for free? The next time you're in the throes of passion with your mate and your skin is feeling a little rough, have him pull out and shower you with his cream.

Beauty insiders are touting spermine, a powerful antioxidant found in human sperm, as the solution to diminish wrinkles and smooth skin. Bioforskning (yes, that’s the actual name), a Norwegian company, is now synthesizing the substance in laboratories and selling it. And stateside, some women are shelling out as much as $250 for a spermine facial at spas.

But why stop at the face? Got cracked feet? Give that man a foot job.

Elbows feeling rough and dry? Take the sperm from your chest and rub it in.

I'm not sure if saliva changes the results of the sperm facial, so I guess it's best to swallow if you get it in your mouth.

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Sex toys that look like Hello Kitty? Creepy!

Posted By on Thu, May 28, 2009 at 10:43 AM

Let's hear it for all the good vibrators out there that look like some version of a hard penis. The ones with the throbbing veins on them are the best.

But fucking

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How perverted are the makers of this toy? Sure grown women like Hello Kitty, but that is a child's toy. Gross. When I think of sex, the only time children enter my mind is if the condom breaks. I don't want a cute sex toy, I want a powerful one. People who use the Hello Kitty vibrator, I'm wondering if you have some serious

"Daddy" issue or if you are one step away from being on Dateline NBC's To Catch A Predator.

A child's toy should never, ever be a sex toy — although I know a girl who had a Tickle Me Elmo in college and her roommate says Elmo tickled more than himself. And that's gross, too.

I think this toy is even worse than the Hello Kitty one. I'll never look at the Glo-Worm the same again.

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Today's Top(less) 5: Thursday

Posted By on Thu, May 28, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, May 28, 2009–as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

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• Indulge in Charlotte's sweetest secret.

• Check out the Masterworks from New Orleans.

• $5 Penthouse dances for lunch.

Top Notch at Tilt.

• Alive After Five.

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Masturbation month is almost over, go out with a gooey bang

Posted By on Wed, May 27, 2009 at 1:20 PM

In case you didn't know,  May is the month for celebrating solo love. That's right, masturbation has its own month.

Read all about it here --Masturbation month.

There is less than a week left in May and you should celebrate the month with a great few days of self love.

Use these tools and you may never want a partner again.

  1. The Hitachi Magic Wand.
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    For a woman, this is the ultimate vibrator. Not only will you get off, you will more than likely need to change your sheets.
  2. The Oralizer.
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    Who says you need someone to give you a blow job? With this toy and a lot of lube, you can have the BJ of your life without having to talk about  life and love afterwards.
  3. Alexis Amore's Vibrating pussy and ass.
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    Forget your partner as you fuck a porn star.
  4. The Art Deco Ac/Dc double dong.
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    Have the threesome you've always dreamed about all by yourself.

Masturbation month should give you something other than an orgasm, it should give you  a sense of yourself. So when you hook up with your partner again, you will know what to tell him or her to get you off.

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How not to impress your friends

Posted By on Wed, May 27, 2009 at 11:00 AM

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One gun+ one fool= a shot penis.

What?

CarnalNation reports that a man in Germany stuck a loaded gun inside his pants and pulled the trigger.

He thought the safety was on. Oops. Embarrassed, the German national told emergency medical technicians that he was the victim of a mugging; however, the police doubted this story from the beginning. "Instead there was a charred hole in his pocket so either it was the shot of the century or he did it himself," said one police source. Surgeons were able to stitch together the remains of his manhood, but Neuhardt faces up to 3 years in prison for violating Germany's very strict gun control laws. Neuhardt is now in the running to be poster boy for the 'Half-Cocked and Fully Loaded' category of the Darwin Awards.

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Anal Jewerly, really? Who's going to see it?

Posted By on Wed, May 27, 2009 at 10:42 AM

So I've been hipped to a new trend. Forget the clit piercing, the navel ring and the lip ring. According to the Frisky, bling is going where it hasn't gone before.

Up your ass.

For those who can never have enough skin to pierce and orifices to adorn, anal jewelry is the latest addition in a string of “daring accessories you can wear.” Designed for “versatility,” each piece consists of a stainless plug with an interchangeable cap in an assortment of styles and colors. If you’re feeling really frisky, you can even get the ever-popular “horse tail” which fits the plug as well.

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I'm one for trying new things, I can admit that I have a slight obsession with anal sex, but this might even be too much for me.

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