Wednesday, September 30, 2009

If you're on your honeymoon and your husband is asking about your friends. . .

Posted By on Wed, Sep 30, 2009 at 11:33 AM

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Something in the water doesn't compute here -- my apologies to Prince.

A good friend of mine was in a wedding this past weekend. The bride was a frienemy she's known since high school. Since they're not very close, my friend -- we'll call her S-- was asked to be a hostess. She agreed for two reasons, she wanted to see who the bride was marrying and she wanted to see the dress. Here's a little known fact about women, we will pretend to be your friend so that we can talk about you among our "real" friends. Especially on your wedding day.

So, S did her hosting duties and said the wedding wasn't much to see and the groom looked as if he wanted to be some place else. Since no one really knew this guy, S had a lot of unanswered questions. That's why she e-mailed the bride and asked how was she enjoying the married life.

The bride, who is on her honeymoon, responded to the e-mail. Red flag number one.Though I've never been married, I would hope that your honeymoon is a time to unplug and have as much condom free sex as your body will allow. After all, one of the benefits of being married is the raw skin to skin feel of sex--right?

But I digress.

The email thanked S for her gift and all of the help that she provided during the wedding. Then the bride says, 'my husband thinks we should hang out more.'

Huge red flag. Why in the hell are talking about your wife's friends on your honeymoon? Again, non-condom sex should be going on. If your marriage is built to last, you have the rest of your life to get to know your wife's friends -- right? Then again, he could be testing his wife to see if her girlfriends are down for a threesome, which isn't something that should be discussed on the honeymoon either.

Here's hoping this marriage lasts and they were just bored after a lot of sex.

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Today's Top(less) 5: Wednesday

Posted By on Wed, Sep 30, 2009 at 6:57 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, September 30, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

Chima

• Mojitos and Stilettos at Chima.

• All you can eat at The Men's Club.

Big Boys at The Actor's Theater.

• Ladies night line dancing at Coyote Joes.

• Wet Wednesday at Leather and Lace.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Today's Top(less) 5: Tuesday

Posted By on Tue, Sep 29, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, September 29, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

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• South of The Border Tuesday at The Uptown Cabaret.

• Sangria Night at Mez.

• Stop Light Party at Whisky River.

• Date and Dash Speed Dating Party at Crave.

• Two for Tuesday at The Crazy Horse.

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Monday, September 28, 2009

Today's Top(less) 5: Monday

Posted By on Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, September 28, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

Bark at The Moon night.

• Monday night football at Uptown Cabaret.

• Find your Muse, open mic at the Evening Muse.

• Karaoke at Dixie's Tavern.

Taste of the world.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Beat it

Posted By on Fri, Sep 25, 2009 at 9:25 AM

At one point or another we've all encountered the following scenario, and if you haven't then I'm assuming you're on some hermit type 'ish':

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl have a few conversations and agree to go out on a date to get to know each other better. After the date, one is not feeling the other and prepares themselves to fall off the face of the earth never to be heard from ever again. Leaving the other person sitting there blinking wondering WTF?!

Which brings us to today's lesson in Meik's world: How to tell someone you just aren't feeling them or remotely even interested.

Now, before you continue reading, let me preface this with a warning: Before you follow any of the items I'm about to list for you, make sure you have observed ALL red flags and have done your share of screening. "Why," you ask? Well, nowadays folks sipping on that punk-naide and acting a donkey could snap without flinching and you'll just be ... well, if you watch the news, you get the point. You just can't mess with crazy folks.

With that warning out of the way, let's proceed, shall we?

I took an informal poll of my Facebook friends and posed the question to them. Granted, I'm no researcher but hey, my blog, my poll ... nuff said.

Here are the top ways they said (with my tweaking of course ) to let someone know you just aren't interested:

5. Post a tweet or Facebook status that reads: (your name) IS NOT INTERESTED IN (fill in the blank.) LOSE MY NUMBER EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. PLEASE AND THANKS.

***bonus** E-mail and text messages are favorite methods as well!

4. Attempt to play matchmaker by hooking them up someone else and pray they get the hint. I'm sure we all know how well that bitch Karma loves to bite us in the ass at times; so if you follow this route, make sure you at least hook them up with someone that has something in common with them — that way they won't come slithering back to you in bug-a-boo mode.

3. Inform them that you have a few STDs that you're trying to shake and it's best that you focus on that for right now. Now ... if that mofo tells you that they have the same ish and y'all can work through it together, lace up them sneakers, and RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

2. Let every last one of your multiple personalities be unleashed. For example, let's say you have the following personalities: Tiny, Toya, Frankie and Neffe (if you don't know who these chicks are, watch BET or Google them please). You take each of those personalities and amp it up to 200 percent and make them all argue with each other over the simplest shit in public. When I say simple, I mean it has to be simple — like "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a damn tootsie pop" simple. If that don't work, then hell, you really have a desperate lame on your hands and you may just have to follow the No. 1 way to tell them to kick rocks.

1. Just being honest. After all, honesty is the best policy. Especially if that person is on that "Steve Urkel Wear a Mofo Down Til They Give In" type ish; at this point, there's no room for error. Say it like it is point blank.

Lesson Learned: I've always been taught to treat people like you want to be treated. If you would prefer someone to play games and make you figure out if they are or are not interested, then fine, do what you do. However, rather than waste someone's time, the best approach is to just say (in a nice way of course) that you just aren't compatible and move the hell on. Otherwise you end up with blogs like mine (mofochronicles.blogspot.com).

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Today's Top(less) 5: Friday

Posted By on Fri, Sep 25, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, September 25, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

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Bare as You Dare 18th anniversary party at the Estate.

Woods of Terror.

Whisky Friday Night.

• Club Insomnia at The Gold Club.

• Chevelle at Amos' Southend.

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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Today's Top(less) 5: Thursday

Posted By on Thu, Sep 24, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, September 24, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

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• Kick Ass lunch at The Men's Club.

Alive after 5 in Uptown.

• Benji Hughes at Petra's Piano Bar.

• $5 Lunch time dances at The Gold Club.

Rewind Thursday at Loft 1523

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Cheap date review: Revolution Pizza

Posted By on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 7:00 AM

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Tuesday night at Revolution Pizza and Ale House in NoDa is "date night." Two people can eat a three-course meal for $20.

It's a great deal and the food is good, but it's not the greatest date place.

For one thing, it's too bright inside the restaurant and outside on the patio. Then there's the music. Occasionally, a slow, romantic song came through the system, but for the most part -- the music was loud and thumping. Not something that you want to hear when you're trying to have a romantic evening.

Though the atmosphere isn't the best for setting the mood for a romantic date, sharing the small dessert at the end of the pizza meal, is sure to get something started.

There's nothing sweeter than a Gelato kiss as you tell your date good night or head to bed with him or her.

Here's a tip, get the appetizer instead of the house salad if you plan to do a lot of kissing on your date -- the salad is good and fresh, but those onions are a killer on your breath. And having the appetizer will give you a reason to ease closer to your date anyway.

And if you are sensitive to cigarette smoke, stay inside. Just about everyone sitting outside last night was smoking.

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Today's Top(less) 5: Wednesday

Posted By on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, September 23, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

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• Champagne and Cigars at The Gentleman's Club.

• Wet Wednesday at Leather and Lace.

• Pole Sampler class at Pole Dance Charlotte.

Free Salsa class and social.

• Ladies Night at Coyote Joes.

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Today's Top(less) 5: Tuesday

Posted By on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, September 22, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

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• South of The Border Tuesday at Uptown Cabaret.

Learn Brazilian Dance in the afternoon.

• Wine Tasting at Amber Crest.

Date night special at Revolution Pizza and Ale.

Passionate Journey at The Mint Museum.

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