Monday, January 31, 2011

The fountain of youth is toxic

Posted By on Mon, Jan 31, 2011 at 5:00 PM

So, I kinda freaked about turning 30 when it occurred to me that not only was I 30 years old … my skin was, too. And it was showing its age far more so than my attitude.

I bought into the whole commercialized “beauty is youth” cultural confusion and started fearing age like it was a terrorist ready to attack. And I got brainwashed into thinking I needed to combat it.

When a commercial came on TV and asked, “Are you tired? … of having big bag under your eyes?” I said yes. And then it told me to “Stop the signs of aging!” And I said OK, how much?

So I went to Sephora in SouthPark Mall to gift myself some magical youth creams. I convinced the woman at Sephora to give me like five sample tubes of the various eye creams laid out like tools in a chemistry lab, settling on a $75 five-ounce bottle of eye cream that I got because it made my eyes tingle. “That means it’s working,” assured the sales clerk.

I also got some Loreal AM and PM wrinkle filler and some fancy collagen eye gel while in Jamaica.

I tossed over $200 into the fountain of youth — 2,000 pennies worth of wishes to retain my youthful glow and elastic skin. That was like investing in insecurities. And just like that, my paranoia of aging has turned into vanities.


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Today's Top(less) 5: Monday

Posted By on Mon, Jan 31, 2011 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today January 31, 2011— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.


•  Unlimited bowling at Strike City

• Chubby's Karaoke at Dixie's Tavern

•  $20 Package deal at Leather and Lace Southend

• Sin Night at Club Onyx

•  Monday Effen Monday at Uptown Cabaret


Friday, January 28, 2011

Safe sex means 'no pictures, please'

Posted By on Fri, Jan 28, 2011 at 4:34 PM

When you hear the words safe sex, immediately you think of condoms, right?

Well, add something else to your safe sex data bank — no cameras.


According to an article in The Daily Telegraph, recording your sex act isn't safe. Just ask the former Miss North Carolina Rebekah Revels (and she lost a lot because of photographs, not even a video) or Kim Kardashian ... well maybe not Kim, since her sex tape shot her into fame.

You excitedly board the plane to rendezvous with your new lover. Your mind is overflowing with anticipation and you can barely wait to arrive at the luxurious hotel where you will spend a decadent weekend together.

You wake up together the following morning and realise that it is not a dream. You then do it all over again but this time with less urgency.

You order room service, more champagne and giggle in delight. You both feel deliriously happy. Your lover then suggests a recording to capture the memory.

Your ecstatic emotions are swirling around in your head. You want to respond and please your lover. You feel flattered, swept up in the moment and it is hard to resist the temptation

You are heady with all the champagne and your usual discretion becomes blurred.

You go along with it, knowing it will add further thrill to another exhilarating lovemaking session.

Your fantastic, enchanting weekend comes to an end and you promise to do it all again soon. But soon never comes. Just as quickly as it started, it ended.

Things can go awry very quickly. One of you has decided to call it quits for whatever reason. The other person may feel raw and confused with mixed emotions.

They may feel startled with relief because that level of passion is draining. Indeed, passion fades in every relationship after the initial euphoric phase of falling in love.

What about the tape? It is too late to undo what has been done. Despite the initial fun, sex tapes can be dangerous. If one partner is left bitter or resentful it is unpredictable what they may do with the tape.

So, grab your condoms and leave the video cameras, video phones and other recording equipment out of your bedroom.

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Today's Top(less) 5: Friday

Posted By on Fri, Jan 28, 2011 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today January 28, 2011— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.


• Fishnets Night at The Estate

• Open Bar Night at Buckhead Saloon

•After Hours Breakfast Buffet at The Men's Club

• 50 cent Friday at The Pub at Gateway

• Club Insomnia at The Gold Club


Thursday, January 27, 2011

Hide your kids, hide your information, too. Will lead stalkers right to you?

Posted By on Thu, Jan 27, 2011 at 3:52 PM

A new website recently launched that has the potential to be a stalker's best friend:

The homepage let's you know, "Not your grandmother's phone book." And boy is that an understatement. Type in a name and it brings up that person's address, phone number, cell phone number, marital status and even social media sites. Scary that so much of your personal information is out there. Welcome to the digital age.

I give this site props, though. You can remove your information and it comes off instantly. So, when you log on (because I know you will) and type in your name, copy the link that comes up and then click on the privacy link at the bottom. If you have more than two entries you want to remove, you have to do it from another e-mail address. The site limits the number of entries you can remove from on e-mail address.

So, if you think that dude in the club (the one with the iPhone, nice body and kind of creepy vibe) that you want to have a one-night stand with might not take "it's never going to happen again" very well, pass him a fake name — until your remove your information from Spokeo. Sasha Fierce works for me.

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Today's Top(less) 5: Thursday

Posted By on Thu, Jan 27, 2011 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today January 27, 2011— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.


• Diverse Thursday at Dharma Lounge

• Uptown Thursday Night at Bar Charlotte

• Kick Ass Filet at The Men's Club

• Champagne Thursday at Club Onyx

• $5 cover at Baby Dolls


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Feeling the love? It's just the chocolate

Posted By on Wed, Jan 26, 2011 at 4:57 PM


Ever notice that after you eat chocolate, you feel sated and relaxed? If you're with your partner, you feel more loving and romantic toward them?

It's not just love, it's chemistry — more over your body's reaction to the chemicals in chocolate. Don't believe me? Public health advocate Dr. Marcus Wells writes, in a recent article sent my way:

Studies now are looking at how the same brain centers called the Thalmus,  hypothalmus, Amygdala and substantia nigra are areas where potent neuro-chemicals intensify libido, romance and cuddling. It is these brain centers that trigger sexuality, selecting our sexual partner, cuddling, even sexual addiction.

Dopamine a neurochemical has been studied and is believed to be the substance that creates romantic feelings between couples who are developing  sexual energy , giddiness or  a state of euphoric high one feels when they begin to "fall in love" and are very attracted one another. But, what makes a couple stay together through the thick and thin of it? In women the hormone oxytocin plays a strong role after sexual activity has played out. Oxytocin is the hormone of cuddling. The lower this hormone exists in both men and in women the more distance you might see between them. The hormone Vasopressin which is biochemically equivalent in men plays this same role more so. When you see break ups between couples happen, you might want to check the oxytocin-vasopressin levels because it might be low. Low intimacy and post-coital hugging, kissing and cuddling means that this neuro-chemical may be low for a couple.

What might drive ones libido overboard is a brain chemical called dopamine and another biochemical we will come back to later called Phenylethylamine (PEA). We see these chemicals rise in the body with sexual climax.

He says this about chocolate:

Chocolate is not only a natural aphrodisiac , but the latest scientific research is showing that it contains multiple chemicals that play a role in enhancing one's ( or one's partner's) libido. theobromine is a stimulant that is known to enhance tactile stimulation including sexuality. "Just one touch" with chocolate could send your mate spinning!  Tryptophan is a major ingredient of chocolate and is a major precursor of Serotonin, the chemical that raises the "crave" for sexuality and climax!

Chocolate also has endorphins. Remember them? The Flavonoids in chocolate reduces inhibition to pleasure and increases pain threshold.  We always said there was a fine line between pain and pleasure, this may be why. Endorphins also act as an antioxidant. Other chemicals playing a role with this are Anadamide and methylxanthine to help relax smooth muscles. But, do you remember that other sexual booster from the brain, PEA we mentioned earlier with serotonin. It raises pheromone attraction through your secretions.

So, when Valentine's Day (or any day when you want to eat chocolate) rolls around, make sure you share so you can get some good loving or make that loving feeling in your relationship return.

**Dr. Marcus Wells has spent over 20 years working as a public health advocate and metabolic specialist and has spent several years working at the NIH in Washington DC as well as the National Institutes of Health and the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute.  He has done research and has read the most recent studies on hormones and internal chemical reactions which supports the theory that there are ways to help improve your love life naturally and without the use of drugs.

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When a safe word is not a enough: man says mate died during rough sex

Posted By on Wed, Jan 26, 2011 at 4:51 PM

A Miami man is facing manslaughter charges in a case of rough sex turning deadly — if you believe his story, that is.

For two days, a Lake Worth man kept a woman’s body in his bed as he tried to figure out how to dispose of it and later he told authorities she had died during rough sex, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.Doris Lopez’s body was found inside a car parked at a Delray Beach parking lot on October 26th.

Three months since that discovery, police arrested 40-year-old David Muringer and have charged him with manslaughter in her death.

Allegedly, the couple had had sex before, in which he'd choked her during the act and she passed out.  In that case, she regained consciousness moments later.

It's called asphyxiophilla (the act in which people like to be choked during sex). People who enjoy the practice say it intensifies sexual arousal. There's nothing wrong with trying something new or kinky, but how do you know when enough is enough?

Muringer allegedly told authorities he had been casually dating 48-year-old Lopez, who was unemployed and lived in West Palm Beach. He told police he choked Lopez during sex, but said her death was accidental.  He said she lost consciousness once before and she had awakened moments later. However, on the night she died, her losing consciousness angered him and he threw her off the bed, the Sun-Sentinel reported.

He left the apartment and when he returned she remained on the floor dead. Muringer is being held without bond.

Muringer waited two days before allegedly stuffing her body in a plastic bag then pushing it into a cardboard barrel he had since childhood, according to the Delray Beach police report.

“He told us he sealed the barrel with duct tape, rolled the barrel out of his apartment and placed the barrel into the back seat of the victim’s car,” Delray Beach police Detective Jason Jabcuga wrote in the arrest report, which was quoted in the paper.

So, if you're going to have rough sex, try not to kill your partner. If your partner does die, however, take note: trying to dispose of his or her remains probably won't play well in front of the jury.

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Today's Top(less) 5: Wednesday

Posted By on Wed, Jan 26, 2011 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today January 26, 2011— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.


• No Cover Wednesday at Club Onyx

• Pure Wednesday at Halo

• Wind Down Wednesday at Mez

• Couples welcome at The Gold Club

• The Fabulous Feast at The Men's Club


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I am 'birthdayzilla,' hear me roar

Posted By on Tue, Jan 25, 2011 at 10:32 AM

I have a new-found empathy for bridezillas.

You spend all this money, time and effort into planning the perfect party. You coordinate it like a production, buy a new dress, and even put on fake eyelashes ... and then something goes wrong and your expectations became disappointments. You can’t help but get pissed — and being the center of attention makes it hard to disguise the fact that you are.

Well, my 30th birthday party was like my wedding … and got to be so big it felt like it was, with the pressure of turning 30 bearing down on me like cold feet. I had 90 people joining me to the Bobcats game, and then we took a party bus from the arena to Butter, where I spent a week trying to coordinate everything from decorations and deliveries of party rentals.

My phone blew up the entire dinner from all the people from the game calling and texting asking me where Front Court is — or that they’re running late and to leave their tickets at Will Call versus meet up with me before.

I spent my entire night making sure everyone else was having fun — and then realized, I wasn’t.


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