Dating can be awkward, a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Getting to the discussion of sex can often make things even weirder.
Ashley had been seeing Kevin for a few weeks after meeting through mutual friends. The conversation was good, not too many awkward pauses and blank stares, and they actually did things: eating out, bowling, the movies, plus more. I'm impressed just from that.
One night, Kevin invites Ashley over to his house to watch a movie and who knows what else. *side-eye* Ashley says it was cool with her because they had been seeing each other for awhile, and she didn't think he was a crazy person.
When Ashley walks into his house, Kevin offers her a drink. OK, bruh has some manners. She requests vodka; he points to the kitchen and tells her it's in there.
See. Just when I was giving him points, he acts crazy. That woman has never been to his house, she doesn't know where the ish is.
If you can't deliver, then you shouldn't even bother to offer.
Marla met James at a club one night while she was out with her girls. Though she had been drinking, she recalls thinking he was attractive, so she gave him her number when he asked for it.
A couple days later, James asks Marla out to dinner. She tells me she couldn't exactly remember exactly what he looked like, but figured he must be OK since he got the number. Besides, Marla said, why does it matter if he is ugly? At least he followed through and actually called her for a date instead of passing over all the steps in between and heading for the love below. Good point, Marla ... good point.
James and Marla agree to meet up at Olive Garden. When she gets to the restaurant, she sees a cute guy standing at the bar. Thank the lucky stars, he turns around and calls out her name. "Whew!" she's thinking — at least she didn't have to try to figure out if that was him or not.
Because there's a wait for a table, they sit at the bar to chat for a bit. During the entire conversation, Marla notices that he never looks directly at her. It's almost as if he's looking behind her. So what do you do in that situation? Of course, you finally turn around and look behind you to see what's back there. And of course, there's nothing back there.
At some point in a young man's life, he may decide to be a "playa playa from the Himalayas." (Shout out to Martin Lawrence!) This week's story is a great example of just that.
Keith had just moved to the Queen City from Greensboro. He still has unresolved issues that he left behind in the Triad: namely, a woman he was dating named Alisha, who thought they were in a serious relationship. Note that keyword — thought.
Keith, on the other hand, figured since he was in a new city, he could make some new "friends," without Alisha being the wiser. He also considered them to be casually dating, so it didn't matter anyway.
One night at a networking event, Keith meets Lori, and they immediately hit it off. They exchange info and make plans to go out over the weekend. The problem, though, is Keith had planned to go back to Greensboro to take Alisha out. What is a playa to do?!
You can see where this is going. Keith calls Alisha and tells her he has to work and won't be able to drive to Greensboro for the weekend. Just to be safe, he also tells her he's working the overnight shift — meaning, he'll be asleep all day and unreachable by phone.
Alisha decides that she will just have a Snapped marathon on the couch for the weekend. OK, not really, but it sounds good right?!
On Saturday night, Keith has successfully avoided speaking to Alisha and goes to pick Lori up for their date. They are doing the usual dinner and a movie thing. (Haven't you men heard Paul Brunson the matchmaker say that dinner and movies is a horrible first date? It ranks right up there with chilling at the house. But I digress.)
Keith and Lori have a great dinner, convo is nonstop and flowing, no awkward pauses, and she's even giving major hints that she is really feeling him. He decides that he's gonna see her again, and eventually get her back to his house and into his bed.
The two head to the movies, and Keith gets a text from Alisha that reads, "I miss you." Poor girl has no clue, does she? He turns his phone off so he doesn't feel guilty, and so he can focus on Lori. Obviously, he's determined to get into her cookie box.
At some point during the dating process, the convo or even action of sex is bound to take place.
There are however some things that you have to handle before dropping your drawls and bumping uglies.
Cara and Josh had been dating for about a month. Notice I didn’t say relationship, but they were dating. So it’s safe to assume they are pretty comfortable with each other by now. One night, after a couple hours of drinking, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and Cara is thinking this is the night that Josh is gonna get some. Josh is pretty hype himself about the situation because, unlike some of these men around here, he was OK with waiting for Cara.
Josh and Cara go back to her place for a night cap ( I swear every time I type that I think of Billy Dee Williams and his smooth suave self back in the day and wonder if he used that line, “Would you like to come in for a night cap?”) Anyway, there’s a lot of kissing, rubbing, touching and moaning going on. Josh picks Cara up (chile, he sounds strong don’t he?) and carries her into her bedroom. Luckily, Cara had cleaned her room so she no longer had clothes everywhere. Josh dives downtown and Cara gets weak (I know you are catching my SWV references here).
Now, it’s time to take it up a notch, and Josh has his condom in place, ready to take the plunge. Just as he’s about to enter, Cara screams, “Wait!”
Uh oh. This ain’t bout to be good.