Thursday, November 20, 2014

She just wanted a ride home

Posted By on Thu, Nov 20, 2014 at 10:00 AM

It’s funny how reality television can remind you of some reality in your own life. On this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta (spoiler alert) Apollo pulled a high school move and admitted to lying on his peen. This week’s dating story is fitting because, well, you’ll see.

Amy and Calvin had known about each other for years, having gone to the same high school. Amy told one of her friends that she thought Calvin was attractive, so the friend hooked it up and they soon began texting back and forth. The texts were never of a sexual nature, which shocks the hell out of me these days, because y’all know how y’all do!

Anyway, one Saturday night, Amy and her friend Jill went out to a party uptown and lo and behold Calvin was there. Amy and Calvin spend the evening doing some harmless flirting. When Jill tells Amy she isn’t feeling too hot and wants to leave, Calvin offers to take Amy home. Cool? I’ll say cool on this one because they didn’t just meet. Besides, he’s just dropping her off, right?

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Thursday, November 13, 2014

A roarin’ time at a Panthers game

Posted By on Thu, Nov 13, 2014 at 10:00 AM

First dates are a time to make an impression. Show off that great personality and sense of humor. Heck, you can even show off your sense of creativity with what you have planned for the date. But just like most of the dates that you guys send in, none of these things seem to matter to anyone anymore.

Let’s just jump into this week’s date-o-drama.

Tyrone met Keisha online. After a few conversations and discovering they both love the Carolina Panthers, Tyrone asks Keisha to go to a game for their first date. Tyrone tells Keisha the tickets were free, so they'd be sitting in the nosebleed section. Hey, a Panthers game is a Panthers game.

So, the two meet up outside the stadium, pleased that they both seem to look like their pictures on their online profiles. Since this took place before the stadium upgrades, they had to hump it up the stairs. When they get to their seats, Tyrone introduces her to his female cousin, her man, and Tyrone’s three kids.

*insert record scratch*

Keisha says she recalled Tyrone’s profile saying he didn’t have any kids, so she was a bit confused as to how this ended up being a family affair. She says she decided to just roll with it, because maybe they bought the tickets all together and maybe, just maybe, he was going to mention the three kids between the ages of 5 and 10.

Maybe. Girl. Bye.

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Friday, November 7, 2014

A bar crawl turned bedroom romp gets sticky

Posted By on Fri, Nov 7, 2014 at 10:46 AM

Last week, we discussed sexting and unsolicited naked pictures. This week's dating story has absolutely nothing to do with that. I just wanted to remind you about that post.

Matt meets Helen during a St. Patty's Day bar crawl. While I have never attended a bar crawl, I assume dang near everybody is drunk. Obviously these two were. You know how y'all do when you knock back a few beers and get a lil tipsy — you stick your tongue down folk’s throats and make out like you are in high school.

Helen invites Matt back to her house to get to know each other better. *record scratch* Again, what have I told y'all about taking mofos you don't know to the house? One day, y'all will listen to me.

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