Snapped at the big ESPYs awards show, this is what Sir Mix-A-Lot meant when he said "Baby Got Back."
It's not often that I look to a blog about moms for sex tips or advice, but this post from The Stir, caught my eye and attention.
Sometimes, sex boosters come from the most unexpected places and according to this article, most of the time these boosts don't need batteries, a little blue pill or a cream.
1. Tell your guy to pump gas
No, this has nothing to do with the fact that men acting helpful around the house makes us happy and, therefore, randy. It's a little stranger than that. A new British survey found that women get hot when their guys smell of paint, gasoline, leather, orget thisa printer ink cartridge?! Apparently these are the scents that "transport" many women back to a happy, romantic memory. Hey, whatever works! For the man in your life, you should try to smell like lipstick, baby lotion, or a roast beef dinner. Maybe now someone will invent a perfume that works like Willy Wonka's Three-Course Gum ...
Sally's take: There's nothing hotter than seeing your mate stick something long and curved in a hole. I totally agree with this one.
2. Clean up the house
A study from last fall found that for husbands and wives alike, the more housework you do, the more often you are likely to have sex with your spouse. Mopping isn't exactly the key to getting hot-and-bothered. It's more about being a go-getter. Researchers found that if you throw yourself into your housework, you're also likely to throw yourself into having sexy sex. There's also something to be said for working together as a team. So get that vacuum out while he does the dishes, and later you can give each other a "high-five."
Sally's take: Getting down on the floor and hand washing it in a white T-shirt while making slow, soapy circles and getting hit from the back is so delicious.
3. Have a gingerbread latte
Ginger increases blood circulation to act as a natural Viagra for him. It's a trick that's been around for centuries ... Madame du Barry regularly served ginger to her lovers, including Louis XV, to drive them mad.
Sally's take: This one only works if you can get your mate to shut up about the price of the holiday drinks at Starbucks.
4. Use a super-charged lube
For a more direct effect, you could try a sex drive-boosting lube, like Zestra Feminine Arousal Fluid (which uses a botanical blend of angelica extract, evening primrose oil, and other botanical ingredients to increase clitoral and vaginal sensation) or KY Intense Arousal Gel for Her (which employs niacin to boost blood flow to the area and heighten sensitivity). Many women swear by both.
Sally's take: Yep. They work like a charm, and if you don't spend the next day totally worn out and satisfied, then you did something wrong.
5. Wear red
Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men get turned on by ladies in red. And apparently, we get turned on when they wear it, too! So for your next holiday party, go for a LRD (Little Red Dress), and suggest he wear a crimson tie to match. It's a win-win, and you'll look festive to boot!
Sally's take: This so works. So much so, that you may not make it to your party.
It's been the year(s) of the Cougar. At first we were intrigued by older women dating younger men. It was as if they were telling society if the men can do it, so can we. Then it became a joke. The subject of sit-coms and movies where Betty White (who I think is more like a dinosaur than a cougar) hitting on men young enough to be her great-great grandsons.
As I was reading my colleague's nightlife tale of older women trying to pick him up, it got me thinking Is this really what young men think when women of a certain age (carrying flip phones) try to cozy up to them?
There was the woman who stared me down at Alley Cat. Im looking at you, silly! she yelled out when I tried to sidestep her gaze. She proceeded to tell me she moved to Charlotte 17 years ago for a job. Everything else she said afterward was white noise because all I could think was, Damn, I was 6!
Then there was the woman who made it her mission to get me to dance at Luna Lounge, going as far as taking my Blackberry from me. I half-heartedly complied, but about midway through the blaring 90s hip-hop and my non-committal two-step, it struck me how this one song held completely different places in our psyches. She was excited like they played this at her prom (granted, they probably did). I only heard this song around my older cousins.
It's always been a double standard when it comes to women and dating. She can't have too many exes or she's a crazy slut, yet a man can have five ex-wives and we still think he's a good catch.
Take George Clooney for example. He's a serial dater and the last time he dated someone his own age was probably during his days on The Facts of Life.
The world laughed when Linda Hogan, the ex-wife of Hulk Hogan, began dating Charlie Hill, a dude the same age as her daughter. But what did people say about the Brooke Hogan lookalike Hulk dated? Not much.
But if younger men, the men cougars want, aren't interested, does this mean the jokes will end?
Because if your night is ending like this:
By the end of the night when others are sealing the deal, Im usually admitting I was born in 1986 and either being laughed at, followed by an abrupt exit or, the weirder of the two, only endearing myself more to these potential cougs.
Is there really a point in trying?
As strip clubs go, we're a lucky city. Charlotte is home to "titty" bars and also upscale venues where you can actually take your mother (well, maybe not your mother).
Among those "upscale" adult entertainment venues is The Men's Club, and this Friday, the club is having a party that won't stop until the sun comes up.
The XXXcess Party is being billed as a night of hotness with DJ Supa Skip spinning the tunes and of course the dancers in one of Charlotte's poshest strip clubs. What's exciting about the Men's Club is that it's welcoming to men and women. It's almost like a sports bar/restaurant with naked women. I'm feeling that.
Friday night, $100 buys you bottle service and a sky box. If you haven't been to the Men's Club and seen the upper boxes, you're missing out. But the best attraction the club has on a Friday or Saturday night has to be the breakfast buffet. This isn't the Waffle House fare, but food cooked by a chef, hot and ready for you to eat while you watch the girls do their thing.
When I went to the breakfast buffet a few months ago, I wasn't surprised to see a crowd of men and women loading up on bacon, grits, scrambled eggs, and omelets made to order.
If you're trying to ease your mate into the idea of hanging out at a strip club or if you're just tired of the club scene where you can get arrested for showing your breasts then you should head to the XXXcess Party Friday night. The fun starts at midnight.
This past weekend, I headed south down I-85 to Georgia for some resting and relaxing. On the way to the Peach State, a billboard in South Carolina caught my eye. It was at Exit 100 in Cherokee County advertising Bedtyme Stories, an adult store. You know, my kind of place. On the advertisement there was a sexy lady in an animal print bra and garter belt with hose and some CFM pumps.
I wanted it. I told my companion, "We're so stopping there on the way back to Charlotte."
Of course, I got no arguments. So, Saturday evening, we were on our way back to the Q.C. and made the stop. Now, I've been to interstate adult stores before, and they are usually dark, gritty and kind of scary. This place, though, was well lit. The shop also featured a nice selection of toys and lingerie, but something was missing ... and I couldn't put my finger on it as I walked around the store. Then we headed for the DVD section. Looking through the porn, I saw a cover that grabbed my attention for all the wrong reasons. It wasn't the title or the actress on the front that made me take notice; it was because it said "Cable."
"Cable?" I thought. "What is this like the stuff they show at night on Showtime and Cinemax (aka Skin-emax)?" As I looked at the movies, I saw ALL of them had the cable stickers. How does hardcore porn get a made-for-TV version? As I walked up to the register to pay for the item that I'd purchased, I was surprised to see a Love Machine behind the counter. The two cashiers were very nice, so I asked them, "What is 'cable' porn?"
The male cashier said, "They show almost everything except penetration. We can't sell those movies here or bondage equipment."
I snapped my fingers, "That's what's missing."
"Yep," said the female cashier, "no whips or chains or blindfolds."
I turned to my companion and shook my head. "And," the male cashier said. "We had to get stripper licenses to work here."
"Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously. "First of all, why do you need a stripper license? "
"County rules," the female cashier said. "And it's not like we're taking our clothes off."
"It's crazy," the male cashier said as he handed my my merchandise.
Only in South Carolina, I thought as I smiled. As me and my companion headed out the door, I was tapped on my shoulder. "What?" I asked.
"Did you notice the Love Machine behind the register? They can't sell real porn, but they can sell a Love Machine?"
All I could do was laugh.
Just in case you don't know, the Love Machine is a vibrator on steroids.
This versatile sex toy is like no other, specially designed to provide ultimate sexual satisfaction to both men and women! Includes 6 different pleasure attachments, 3 different multi-speed strokers and thrusters, and 3 different 5X multi-speed vibration and pulsation massagers.
Hey Charlotte, it is hot outside.
How hot is it?
Too hot for sex. Umm, maybe not.
If you're hot like, temperature hot but horny, you can still enjoy some sex with your partner without worrying about a heat stroke.
Sex in the water does away with the whole concern about sweat and heat. In the shower, in the tub, a pool, the ocean...you get the idea! Blasting the air conditioning in one room just prior to bedtime is another way to go. It may be 80 degrees everywhere else, but for an hour it can be 70 degrees wherever you plan to make whoopee.
Still too hot? Pull out some ice. There's a scene in Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing that shows ice does more than keep your water cool and tasty. The key to having good sex in a heatwave is pretty simple stay hydrated.
Cooling off is not a problem if your body is healthy. You must keep your body hydrated and keep drinking water at all times. It not only helps keep your body healthy but also improves your sex life. You dont feel tired and it keeps your body feeling cool. This will also keep you in the mood for sex.
With all this heat, if you have kids, they aren't playing outside these day meaning you're going to have to sneak a freak. It's time to play hide and seek.
Or better yet, send your kids to grandma's for a few hours and take in a movie with your mate. When you get there, where it is sure to be cold, do this:
A movie date with your partner is a simple but effective way or rekindling romance in the summer months. Its not necessary that you watch the movie in a theatre. You could even watch a movie at home. Whatever the case, keep it simple. If its the movie hall, you can hold hands and steal a kiss or two. If you are of an adventurous bent of mind you could kiss or massage those erogenous zones of your partner. You both would be dying to go to the bedroom by the end of the movie!
And when you get home, try this cooling position. It's not energy efficient, but you both will get off and be cool:
In front of the fridge: Kitchen carnal action may be nothing new to you, but the icebox might be uncharted territory. Open the door to the refrigerator and have your man sit on the floor with his back against the cool shelves. Then straddle him. Not only will the cold air give you both a thrill (you'll surely perk up!), but you can also incorporate food into your frisky play.
Don't let the summer heat wilt your sex life. But don't have a heat stroke either.
Over the weekend, I decided to spend time with my mom.
We were having a good time, until she asked me a strange question.
"What can I do to spice up my love life?"
Really? My first thought was to ignore her question. I mean, this is mother and father. I don't even want to think about them having sex. (Shivering at the mental image)
Then I thought, what would Dan Savage do? He'd answer the question. Granted, I'm no Dan Savage. But Mom knows that I spend a good part of my day writing and thinking about sex. So, I decided to offer her some advice.
All long term relationships lose that luster some times. So, in order to keep things exciting, you have to think out of the box.
Here's hoping that my mother doesn't tell me how this worked for her. There are something I don't want to know.
I've yet to wrap my head around the Twilight saga obsession. And after seeing this I don't think I ever will.
Twilight as this one hero, Edward Cullen played by actor Robert Pattinson. The little girls love him but guess what. He's allergic to your puss vagina.
He said it, I didn't.
"I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vagina. But I can't say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn't exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover."
Pattinson covers the 10th anniversary cover of Details magazine. Click here to take a look.
So, if Pattinson is allergic to pussy, does this mean he has a hard on for Jacob, a.k.a Taylor Lautner.
Creative Loafing: So, Merry Stripmas is this Saturday. What does it mean when you say, 'everybody gets scrooged?'
Big Mamma D: I kind of based a lot of the acts, especially the opening act, on the original movie Scrooged. There is a lot of Victorian dresses and stuff like that. I've done some theme work with the movie Scrooged and that was kind of my inspiration for this Merry Stripmas Show. Every year I have a different inspiration for the show.
This show features the return of Lola Midnight, who is she?
Lola Midnight was with us for all of 2008 and her last show was in February 09. She hasn't done a show with us since then. When she left, people kept asking what happen to (Lola Midnight), because she is just so talented and people wanted to know where she was. When she said that she was interested in coming back for a couple of shows, I was like, yes, yes, yes. She's a classically trained dancer, so her movements are just special on stage.
Tell us about your other special guests.
White Lightin comes in from Knoxville and they are a wonderful troupe. This time we're bringing Mizz Kitty back from White Lightin and she's doing a lot of real neat acts. One is to Elvis's "Blue Christmas" and one is to "Feliz Navidad." She is, again, another super talented girl and everybody knows her, so it was exciting to get her back in again.
Who is opening the show this weekend?
You know about Robot Johnson. Well, they are opening the show for us. Robot Johnson is Charlotte's premiere sketch comedy group. They've been doing shows at CAST theater and I wanted to get them in there because they have just signed a 13-episode deal to go on the Speed Network to do a clip show. So this is your chance to see them before they are on TV. Doors open at 8 p.m. and they go on at 9 p.m. So, you get a chance to see 45 minutes of Robot Johnson doing their wonderful sketch comedy. They have prepared some special woman-centric type acts for our show.
Want to go to the Stripmus and see how Big Mamma D and her girls "hang their stockings?" Then head over to the Visulite this Saturday. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 the day of the show.
Last year, I went out and brought you a few places to shoot a kick-ass porno in the Queen City. Of course, having sex in public is illegal so if doing this, you're doing it at your own risk.
Still, there are a ton of visually appealing places in Charlotte that would serve as a great backdrop for a porn movie (it would be great if your porn had a script and a plot, too).
Here are some more places that would add some bang to your skin flick.
The picnic cover at Latta Park. Here two people can meet and discuss how horny they are and get busy on the tables. Extra points if you can incorporate sex on one of the trash cans.
The lower level parking lot of Eastland Mall is dark, empty and begging to be the setting for a dark S&M porn that involves latex, cat-o-nine tails and thigh-high boots. Group sex is also a must in the movie. Maybe even some girl-on-girl-on-girl action. This is probably the one public place in Charlotte where you can film and not get caught.
Isn't the purple exterior of this NoDa-based building pretty? Just imagine watching a couple having wild sex on that purple wall. Purple Rain, Purple Pain?
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