Reading the Frisky sometimes makes me happy that I'm not the typical woman who goes to that site for advice.

So, there is this article on the site titled Five Moves Women Love in Bed. Those moves include being spanked, getting eaten out and being dominated.

Are there still women out there who don't take control of their own pleasure? That's sad.

Sure, you may have to talk him into anal sex, but if you just ask him — he won't say no. Just pass the shea butter.

Women, if you're having bad sex it is your fault. Once he has you in bed, playing the good girl role is a bit unbelievable. You want him to shove his thumb in your bum, ask him. You want to do a backwards cowgirl and stick your big toe in his mouth, ask him.

You are in control of your orgasm, remember that.

Wondering what to get the freak in your life for Christmas?

And please don't show up with some lame gift.

CL's Klepto blog has a gift guide just for you.

Also check out tips for satisfying the movie, music, art and food buffs in your life, that is if you have a life outside of the bedroom.

With 16 days left in the first decade of the 21st century, it is safe to say that the '00s weren't what you expected them to be.

From 9/11 to the worse recession in decades, we've pretty much been fucked over and fucked up.

The 2000s ushered in the era of the downlow man, men who say they aren't gay, but have sex with other men and then come home to their wife or girlfriend and have sex with her. Thanks J.L. King for highlighting that fact and making every single woman suspicious about "guy's night out."

This decade the South rose, becoming the country's leader in HIV rates. Thanks a lot to all of you who allowed him to just put the "head" in with no condom.

Despite all the bad news, one thing is sure, when life gives you lemons, you should make some fucking lemonade.

Sex has been good this decade because we turn to each other for comfort. And since many of us have been broke as hell, cheating (Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Mark Sanford and those rich mofos are excluded) has taken a dip. Girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives have been keeping the good stuff at home and after 10 years, it's probably boring as hell.

So, end this decade on a good fucking note.

Here are three things you should do over the next 16 days to start the next decade of the 21st century on a good note:

While role playing, remember you and your mate can say or do anything that you wouldn't normally do. Smack her ass, stick your finger up his ass and find his prostate. Call him/her names that you would never say during your regular lovemaking sessions.

Imagine the thrill of being touched all over by three sets of hands. Or kissing someone while someone else is having oral sex on you and third person is giving tou a back massage. Or watching your partner have sex with someone else while you are also having sex with another person.

You can make your threesome even hotter by adding toys. If it is two women and one man, one woman should get a strap on and hit it doggy style while the other woman licks and sucks the man's dick. If it is two men and one woman, why not have your partner have anal sex with you while the other man is having vaginal sex with you. It will be just like that scene from The Devil in Miss Jones.

A movie theater is a good place to start. Why? Well,it's dark and a great place to give a blow job. Especially if you go see a movie that's been out for a while. Extra points if you do it during a highly anticipated movie in a crowded theater--or during one of those free previews.

Another place that's good is public transportation (READ: LYNX BLUE LINE). One night, you and your partner should go and ride public transportation from Uptown to 485 and see just how many times you can make each other come. Be aware, there are cameras on the train, so you have to be careful.

Ring in the new year with some good fun in the bedroom and here's hoping that the next 10 years don't suck this much.

Thanksgiving is over, and you have a fridge full of leftovers. You could do that turkey salad thing, you could donate it to someone less-fortunate. Or you could use that food to make your holiday sex even more exciting. By now your friends and family should have their mooching asses out of your house. This means, you and you other half can do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

If you have these things in your fridge, get ready for some serious loving:

Sweet Potato: The sweet potato, while not exactly scientifically proven, has been said to increase the female sex drive if consumed in large amounts. What science does know about the sweet potato is that it is high in potassium, which helps reduce stress, as well as Vitamins A, C and iron—all important sex drive-enhancing nutrients.

Pumpkin Pie: Pumpkin pie does more than expand your waitline: it's also an olfactory sexual aphrodisiac. According Alan Hirsch, a neurologist at Chicago's Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, the aroma of pumpkin pie increases blood flow to the penis by 40 percent. It works even better when combined with the scent of lavender. And it's not just the smell that gives rise. When consumed, pumpkin provides a healthy dose of zinc, an element necessary for healthy blood flow and testosterone production.

Chocolate: What's not to love about chocolate? Not only does it pump up your endorphins, it also stimulates the production of dopamine in the brain and will increase a woman's sex drive. What's more, according to Italian researchers, women who eat chocolate regularly have a better sex life than those who deny themselves the treat. So, do yourself a favor and include this Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie along with the classic pumpkin.

Just because the ghost and goblin costumes have to be put away, it doesn't mean that you can't wear a costume to spice up any night of the year.

Stores like The Red Door and Adam and Eve have sexy costumes all year round.

Want to be a naughty nurse?

So, why should you keep your costuming going all year round? It spices things up when you surprise your mate in something other than black lace or boy shorts.

If you're going to dress up, then don't forget the wigs. You can get a wig from a beauty supply store and be the blond that your mate wants to bang. Or that sexy red head he's been dreaming of.

Why not save the day as a sexy super hero? Now that Halloween is over, that Wonder Woman costume is probably on sale. And dressing like the famous amazon gives you a reason to tie your mate up with your "lasso of truth."

If you're not interested in being a hero, because what's the fun in being a good girl, then be bad ass Catwoman.

So, you don't have to wait until Halloween to pull out a costume. You can be sexy and sassy all year round.

You've gone to the bathroom at your favorite nightclub or seedy restaurant and there it is on the wall, a condom machine.

Inside there are glow in the dark condoms, strawberry flavored ones and the tickler.

Curious, you buy one and decided to try it. Or not.

The Frisky isn't happy with some novelty condoms.

From the beer stein to the banana, the cow to the devil, the elephant to the zebra, these johnson raincoats are not something most women want anywhere near their hoo-has. One supposes it would be amusing to see a guy tromping around in nothing but the gas mask jimmy, but, for God’s sake, don’t try to do anything with a willy if it’s wearing one of these, ladies.

But safe sex is anything but sexy, sometimes. Why not have fun with condoms? You're being safe and you're adding a little spice to you bedroom action. Still, a gas mask covered penis does seem to be a bit much.

And for the record, the tickler condom never seems to work.

If you've been with your mate for a while, your sex life probably needs a makeover.

This article from YourTango.com is the first step.

Sexual experimentation is key for keeping a long-term relationship fresh, fun and fulfilling. Opening up about your desires can also bring you and your partner closer together. "Experimenting with each other requires a willingness to be vulnerable, which improves intimacy," says Mort Fertel, Baltimore marriage counselor and creator of the Marriage Fitness Program.

The best type of sex on the list is the "hope we don't get caught" sex. You remember being young and sneaking into the basement of your parents' house to get a piece from your boyfriend or girlfriend. While you were stroking, you were also listening for those tale-tale footsteps that belonged to mom or dad.

That made the sex so much more exciting and risky. It's just as fun as an adult. And if you're dating someone with kids, you're probably well versed in the sneaky sex act.

Oral sex without getting caught, now that is the height of excitement. Though it's a lot easier for a woman to give oral sex to her man than the other way around.

This weekend is the best time to try it. After all, it's supposed to be raining.

I'm always online just looking for things.

Today I came across what I thought would be a cute website, Nawtythings.

It was cute until I saw an article about vibrator instructions for women.

All you really need to know about using a vibrator is "Do What Feels Good", "Keep it Clean" and if it is "Not Water-Proof" don't put it in water.  Now that you have the very simple rules - a vibrator is designed to stimulate.  It does a better job of stimulating than a tongue, fingers, or any inanimate object.

If that is all you need to know, then why is this article so long? Did the writer think women are so dense we don't know how to please ourselves--with or without a vibrator?

And why is it that women have to be taught about masturbation and men are never instructed on what they need to do to bring joy to their sticks?

Here's a news flash, women know how to make themselves feel good down there without detailed instructions.