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Comment Archives: stories: Blogs & Columns: Savage Love

Re: “Older men, younger boys

I met my ex husband when he was 20 and I was 35, at the time I thought that we weren't made to be a couple but after all we have been happily married for 10 years. At one point he just told me that he wanted to experience more in life. We are still in good terms and I still believe that those have been the best 10 years of my life. Now I enjoy casual sex but nothing will be like to share everyday life with just a genuine love.

Posted by Ginger Zerbetto on 12/02/2019 at 5:57 PM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

I don't see what the big deal is. I've always been attracted to men far older than myself. When I was 18, I was in a relationship with a man in his 30's. when I was 40, I was in a relationship with a man in his 80's. I've never been hurt by these age differences.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by canamm1 on 11/22/2019 at 1:11 AM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

In September of 2004, I was at a local Mc" Donalds in Phoenix AZ where I was still living at the time for lunch and the place was busy but one table was empty. Thie handsome elderly man who was almost 80 years of age that I saw in there a few times was asking me if I could sit down cause all the tables were in use I said sure so he sat down and we got talking. I can remember those blue eyes of his and we talked for a good hour or so and He asked me if I was married or single and I told him I'm a single gay man that likes older. He was married but lost his wife 2 years prior and was looking for a younger man and so we switched phone numbers and after a short time, we fell in love and had 13 wonderful years together. We did not live together but saw each other every weekend I came out to a few people in 2014
including my brother and his husband of 26 years a cousin and a few others but they kept
it private. In Late March of 2017, my partner moved to Eugene Oregon so he can be closer to the family cause of his health and I moved to San Diego CA. October 1st that same year
My plan was to see him when I had a chance to but could not afford to travel so the only thing I could do is call hin daily and speak with him on the phone as much as I could. On November 13th of 2017, I had a message from the retirement home he was living in saying that he had a massive stroke which I called his daughter to tell her what I found out and she called me back to confirm it was true. Me and my partner talked a few more times and It was hard not being able to be there for him cause I wanted to hold him and tell him I love him face to face. Sadly on November 22nd, 2017 at 2AM 8 days after his 93rd birthday he passed away and I got a voice mail from his daughter and 2 of his friends that are a couple telling me about his passing.

I was very deviated and heartbroken plus I was in tears most of the day and making calls and telling everyone who knew him. He was my world and we were in love I think of him everyday

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Grandpalover on 11/22/2019 at 12:22 AM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

Whichever way you look at this there will be those who acknowledge and accept an age difference between people and those who are revulsed by it. Either way it is defined by personal experience and perspective.

It is the personal aspect that skews an accurate overview of what is or isn't acceptable. Painful experiences, however gained, may make an individual propose a vehement objection to any given situation whilst a positive experience will counter that objection.

If you consider the impact of puberty it has been clinically established that a 13 yo (regardless of gender) may be more than ready for a sexual relationship whilst a 16 yo is a long way from being so. As such age is not a true indicator of an individual's readiness for a sexual relationship

There can be no definition to whom someone is attracted to nor the reasons why. Nature and Nurture remains a strong argument for the actions of all yet still remains unresolved.

With such a complexed set of parameters, human-kind must make laws to protect the majority. It is totally impossible to control individual thought and so legislation can be the only method of instilling some form of protection. Beyond that I believe it is impossible for any of us to fully understand the nature of attraction as it is entirely individual and will often create conflict with another.

As a father of two daughters I have no set belief on whom they should be attracted to. Yes, I would like them to conform to societal belief of liking someone close to their age and, in all honesty do not know how I'd react if presented with someone nearer my age. However it is not my heart that is falling for another and so long as I can be satisfied there is no control or manipulation, I have to be happy for their choices. That too must remain the same if I had a son attracted to an older man, even one closer to my age.

Whilst, as parents we want to protect our children, we must also accept they are their own person and free to make their own decisions.We can't control their feelings, their attractions, their sexuality or anything else. We can only love them unconditionally and be there for them when anything goes awry.

Not sure if that helps anyone but for me, let them make their own way, fall in and out of love with whomever they will and be there to pick up any pieces that may appear if it turns sour. I am not advocating underage sex nor younger/older relationships, nor am I condeming it. I am merely stating that individual choice and attraction may significantly differ from our own thoughts.

However, whatever the argument, there is always the case of an individual excerting undue pressure on another to their will...sexual or otherwise. This happens across the age spectrum and is felt greater when an older person manipulates a younger person to their will. Whatever the age this is abhorrent yet is felt more so when it is an adult forcing their will on a minor. Whatever the age, manipulation and control of another person is entirely wrong and should be rightly challenged and dealt with.

What we all need to do is separate ourself from coercive activity to that of mutual attraction. Notwithstanding, we MUST abide and adhere to the legal ruling and beyond that let the two individuals form their own decisions as to whether the relationship is right or wrong for them

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Phil Santana-Reedy on 10/13/2019 at 9:09 PM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

Hello
I also am an older gent who has always enjoyed younger guys. In fact just to show that age is a number only In many healthy relationships, I am 63 and my partner is only 41. We have been together since he was 23 and happy to say we have now been married for 7 years and living together for the past 16. Not all older and younger relationships are bad.

4 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Craig Walker on 09/20/2019 at 7:34 AM

Re: “To cheat or not to cheat?

Why be in a relationship at all if you're going to keep cheating on them? The one about having no regrets after not just cheating, but doing it with his best friend for years disgusts me. Not just the set-up with his supposed "best-friend", but having no regrets over it. This is a person who will never be able to trust anyone else because they will never know for sure that someone else isn't doing it to them..I caught my ex cheating on me with his supposed best friend,i got help from ''''hackspeed24 @ g m a i l . c o m'''who hacked his phone and gave me GPS access to their cheating location,i also show him more proof from their constant messages and chats,it's really bad at how people can hurt the ones that loved them.

Posted by CourtneyJennet on 09/19/2019 at 5:50 PM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

My advice is to respect your sons 18 year old adult status and sit down with HIM (not the boyfriend) to discuss the following: Your son needs to know that there are two distinct possibilities with this age gap relationship. The first, and most optimistic, is that this 31 yr old man is a decent human being. He has never dated someone as young as your son and would not describe his type as someone your sons age. His willingness to try dating your son was inspired by an open mind and whatever brilliance and beauty he saw in your sons eyes. Their relationship is certain to face the same ups and downs as any other but with the additional practical issues that can come from an age gap such as theirs. The second possibility is that your son has paired up with a chicken hawk. That is a guy who has sexual tunnel vision for 17-23 year olds and chose your son based on his age and appearance first and foremost. Your sons soul is basically irrelevant to him and herein lies the danger of such a relationship for your vulnerable, young son. Being the younger partner of a chicken hawk means you will eventually come to understand that you are only valued for your youthful sex appeal and this hurts a persons self-esteem, sometimes for many years. Also, the younger partner is likely to experience dysfunctional manipulation and control by his older partner, especially in regards to uneven financial status and life experience. This is the ugly shadow of the chicken hawks relationships. In his mind he has every right to enjoy consensual love with 18 plus cute guys. In fact he may even boast that he helps these young men by mentoring them, getting them a good job, teaching them responsibility, keeping them out of the bars and clubs. However, its all about total control for him, something he loses when paired with someone of the same age on equal footing and with their own mind. This would be an unhealthy relationship for your son and you should make sure he is aware of this possibility. Make sure he knows the signs to look for, the predictable unhealthy patterns (being financially kept, being condescended to and patronized, the 31 yr old tries to act much younger, wears conspicuously younger clothes and has obviously very young tastes...etc.) And most importantly make sure your son knows that he has someone to turn to in you as his father, free of judgement or attempts to preach. You want to keep communication open so you can stay aware of whats developing in your sons life. Trust that your son is smart enough to figure this out as he goes and that if this man turns out to be bad news, your son will likely grow disenchanted with him without your interference. I am now 40 and have had my share of relationships with both kinds of older men, good and not so good. I quickly learned how crappy it feels to be with someone who wants to control everything and only desires you for your age. It left a particularly bad taste in my mouth for these kinds of men but it hasnt blinded me to the existence of other older men with pure intentions. Your son should be so lucky if it turns out he landed a good one and you shouldnt jump the gun and take that possibility from him.

Posted by Fortynow on 09/06/2019 at 7:16 AM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

Im 56 and in Oregon and theres not any young guys here that want anything to do with anyone over 30. They wont even look at or give you the time of day. Its all about age discrimination, "member size", and how ""$$$genorous$$$"' you are or how much $$$ you're worth. I've always loved and desired to love a boy. But the way things in the world are going now I can see I will NEVER be able to share any love I have for a boy. Ive loved boys ever since I was 12. Seems the world dictates what a person can like or not like or people will discriminate against one for what they desire.
But on the other hand, if I ever try to tell others the same thing they tell me or I tell them what they can or can't like, Im told to shut up and they'll do or have whatever they want. And worst case, being told what I desire, if I don't stop and give it up at such an old age, threats of bodily harm have been addressed to me directly.
So I guess this is where boylove is now in 2019. Could be gone totally in 5yrs.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by David Fox on 07/21/2019 at 6:20 PM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

Im 59 years old. Straight and 100% Disease Free. Im patient, understanding, and eat going. Younger guys enjoy sex with me because I have a longer stamina then their peers, Im definitely down low, I will not and I do not force anything and we can stop at any point either person is uncomfortable. It works.

1 like, 1 dislike
Posted by Funstraightman on 06/15/2019 at 10:24 AM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

Instead of stereotyping that older guys are predatory maybe people need to realise that older guys can, and do get 'used and abused' by younger guys for... 'oh so many reasons'

Power, money, greed, and status in society .... Are just a few reason why I've found that people use you, rape and sexually abuse you. The point I'm making is this - Hate is hate, ageism is just that, abuse is abuse regardless of hate. People need to have more understanding and empathy.

XX

Richard in the UK

4 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by RicheyBoi on 06/12/2019 at 1:56 AM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

Hey I'm a gay and I know have it's feels to be in relation...
Now Im completely 18y old
I was in relation with a guy who's big... Yaa older than me
But not really little more longer
When I was completed 18 years of my life since on my birthday occasion he gave me a very big surprise (he leved me...)
But now it's be an more than 6 months we are not catch each other

(Sometimes people are comes in life like a good thing which can destroy everything
On every movement me just thinking about someone who will hold my hands, not for little longer but for all life

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by vansh on 05/22/2019 at 8:35 AM

Re: “Cuckoo over cuckolding

Im married to a cuckold. I knew this going into the marriage, but we never have played it out. His ex wife was very much into this. Im not. Ive said I would try, but he only wants me having sex with black men. My husband and I have never had sex together, only masturbation. I absolutely love sex, but Im scared about playing with others. so this has been a challenge. Im willing to do this for my husband, but where does one find a safe play partner these days.

Posted by PDX wife on 04/11/2019 at 7:42 PM

Re: “To cheat or not to cheat?

MEDIALORD HELPED ME MONITOR MY HUSBAND'S PHONE WHEN I WAS GATHERING EVIDENCE DURING THE DIVORCE. I GOT VIRTUALLY EVERY INFORMATION HE HAS BEEN HIDING OVER A YEAR EASILY ON MY OWN PHONE: THE SPY APP DIVERTED ALL HIS WHATSAPP, FACEBOOK, TEXT MESSAGES, SENT AND RECEIVED THROUGH THE PHONE: I ALSO GOT HIS PHONE CALLS AND DELETED MESSAGES. HE COULD NOT BELIEVE HIS EYES WHEN HE SAW THE EVIDENCE BECAUSE HE HAD NO IDEA THAT HE WAS HACKED.I STRONGLY RECOMMEND 'H A C K S E C R E T E @ G M A I L . C O M'

Posted by mathalawson on 03/15/2019 at 5:00 PM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

why boys become gay is a mystery...arent there enough straight role models out there??? take NFL players...never use a closed fist when knocking out your female...maybe that is extreme...how about Americas DaD...Bill Cosby...he used drugs, not violence...hey...i found out my dear ole dad, in the army, was fucking other guy...but he didnt have a female arounf so it was ok...like Bill Clinton...the poor man was under so much pressure...loke all the other presidents that ...well you know..why couldn't they just cross dress...or show cock pictures to women on line...like athletes, politicians today...or molest young women trying to get into show biz...but god forbid 2 consenting men have sex...by the way....gay men are condemed for anal sex...yet millions of straight men have anal sex with their wives...and dont say its a form of birth control like cheer leaders used to claim years ago..." this way I can let the quarter back fuck me, and stay as my boyfriend, and not worry about a baby and loosing his football scholarship" that a real quote...

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Woodlawna on 03/11/2019 at 9:58 PM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

hmmmm i love these stories how one person could un do years and years and years on straight parenting within one encounter and make a boy/man become gay. I lived at home for 30 years with my straight parents and after meeting a gay man during a conference,became gay. I think the problem is straight parents...why do they continue to have children that become gay after the first gay perants? the worst are gay teachers!!! tell me...if a teacher is not "out" or even married...are they still converting children or do they have to be offically OUT before the :magic" can happen? Is there a spell that straight parents can perform to "undo" the gay spell?
Would a parent rather have a son that is a womanizer, unfaithful and or a wife beater than a gay son? When is the last time you ever read about a gay couple that had restraining orders, had a "BF" arrested for abuse or murdered his BF????

2 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Woodlawna on 03/11/2019 at 9:42 PM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

Irony, when a younger guy dates an attractive older WOMAN, everyone, from his peers to his dad, is giving him HiGH-FIVES, and saying great job, that's my boy! But the instant you switch the genders a bit, it suddenly becomes something very dark, controversial, forbidden and even sinister. Heh, double standards of US / Western society much??

5 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Camdon on 01/18/2019 at 12:37 AM

Re: “When Work Interferes With Pleasure

Yes, you need to rest always. This increases productivity. And for good sex blue pills will help you: https://viabestbuys.com/viagra-dosage/

Posted by Samanta Roll on 12/14/2018 at 9:01 AM

Re: “Older men, younger boys

Ever heard of initial conditions prior to current outcomes?

Posted by fanman93 on 12/07/2018 at 11:18 PM

Re: “Variations on Friends with Benefits

When a women refuses to preform oral sex she is not the type to give up any of her sexual power over a man. A women performing oral is showing her submissiveness to a man, she may not know it but she is. In this case I think she knew it.
Your friend GAVE you a blowjob(s), guys just don't do that if they don't like to be used. There are MANY gay and straight guys who like to be used as tools for other men to use for their pleasure with no expectations in return. . I'm a straight guy and if I had a gay friend who gave me head (and it was good) I would know he likes doing it simply because he did it and I would use that guy as often as I could and for far more than just oral sex. I would be using his anus as my sex toy. I bet my last dollar your friend would like it even if he never tried receiving anal sex.
Women are toxic these day to dangerous to a mans happiness. USE HIM he wants to be used.

Posted by ThreatToTHEdelusional on 12/07/2018 at 8:25 PM

Re: “Gay and Lonely

If Lonely Aging Guy confronted with me all that I would tell him he's a lucky guy. I have had many love involved relationships with men and women and all the ones with women ended badly in every aspect. The ones with men ended at least without a severe penalty in the financial department.
I'd also tell him he's not alone most ALL men are very unhappy period. Especially young straight men.
I'd also tell him if he is a bottom or mostly bottom gay man to go after straight guys believe it or not there are many straight stable guys looking for gay bottom men. Some of these straight guys know they could become attached with the right man or can be easily convinced dating a gay man could lead to long term more than just sexual relationships. Its never been a better time to be a gay man.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by ThreatToTHEdelusional on 12/07/2018 at 6:15 PM

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