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Comment Archives: stories: Film

Re: “Jurassic World: Park in second gear

(*/****,…if that) What a horrendously bad, god-awful picture. After an hour I’d enough and it’s the first movie that I’ve actually walked out of in quite some time. The film was merely a repeat of the usual: Dinosaurs breaking loose, flipping cars and people running away. Some other problems: The acting was atrocious which gave this film the feel of a made-for-TV movie (Yes even with Chris Pratt). The acting was on par with that of “Home Alone 3”. It was simply that bad. Despite the modest budget the film also lacked realism –that is the dinosaurs looked fake and computerized. In fact the shark that succeeded Bruce in “Jaws: The Revenge” looked far more realer than ANY of the dinosaurs in this picture. I wasn’t overly shocked about any of this as I had my doubts after seeing all the trailers and loathing the two other sequels: “The Lost World” and “ Jurassic Park III” , but it did come as quite the surprise considering the technology to do the film right –that is to make the dinosaurs believable- is there. The absolute final straw for me was the film being littered with advertisements: Nissan, Coke, Starbucks, Mercedes Benz, eBay, Samsung (am I missing any more, and are the studios now so desperate for cash after the 40% home-video sales decline that they’re willing let any one person/company in)? Do yourself a favor and save your $17.50 (or whatever the hell they’re charging for IMAX 3D these days) and take your dad out for a nice father’s day brunch. -AKR

8 likes, 12 dislikes
Posted by Andrew Rawls on 06/16/2015 at 9:47 PM

Re: “Jurassic World: Park in second gear

Great review, and by that I mean it matches my thoughts pretty much exactly.

The dinosaurs were great and there were plenty of thrills-- especially fun in a big, loud theater. But the plot's dependency on the beyond ridiculous "trainable raptors" really hurts the film's bottom line. The writers loved to mock jaded theme park audiences who needed "more teeth," but then turned around and did the same thing with the story-- did not trust a film audience to enjoy the sequel without giving it a dino twist.

13 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Evan on 06/15/2015 at 10:25 PM

Re: “Jurassic World: Park in second gear

I thought the attractive victim was being punished for a)being British and b) losing the kids and thus failing at her important maternal destiny.

Aunt Clare was a career crone who just needed the love of a 'real' man to be human and fufill her maternal destiny.

18 likes, 3 dislikes
Posted by Rachael Bean on 06/14/2015 at 12:16 AM

Re: “Lose this Entourage

Nailed it with this review.

8 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by RG on 06/12/2015 at 11:43 AM

Re: “Lose this Entourage

Can't agree with you. This movie was great fun!

1 like, 13 dislikes
Posted by Curtis Waters on 06/07/2015 at 5:48 PM

Re: “American Sniper, Jamaica Inn, Mississippi Burning among new home entertainment titles

Unfortunately I'm going to have to disagree with you; "American Sniper" was my pick for best film in 2014 followed by "Selma", "Whiplash", "Boyhood", "Locke" and "The Imitation Game". And that's saying a lot considering the strength of independent films last year. Regardless of one's stance on military operation this picture was an incredibly accurate portrayal of war and the emotional toll it has on a soldier’s personal life. I put “American Sniper” into the same category as “Apocalypse Now”, “Platoon” and “Saving Private Ryan”; structurally and narratively it’s that good and there is great chemistry between Eastwood and Bradley Cooper something that critics often fail to appreciate.

8 likes, 17 dislikes
Posted by Andrew Rawls on 06/01/2015 at 12:42 AM
Posted by Garth Vader on 05/22/2015 at 12:09 PM

Re: “Tim's Vermeer: Paint by numbers

Hockney-Falco doesn't just reveal Vermeer, but many other renaissance painters. Tim's Vermeer is for scholars by scholars. Still, I would accept this 80-minute documentary as the equivalent of a Masters Paper, not a doctoral dissertation.

Posted by Drake Canarde on 05/10/2015 at 2:56 PM

Re: “Hot Pursuit: Nowhere to run

I saw the film last night.. I felt violated and my intelligence offended.... Only thing that would have this film worse is if Melissa McCarthy was in....

2 likes, 5 dislikes
Posted by Rob Rippy on 05/08/2015 at 5:49 PM

Re: “Avengers: Age of Ultron: Sloppy second

This review pretty much sums up my experience perfectly. As a Marvel fan I'm very critical of these movies mostly because I remember how bad we use to have it (Corman F4 I'm looking at you) and how far we've come. Avengers 2 feels like a step backwards in storytelling. There are moments of genuine interest but as a whole the movie does not stand on it's own. Even the bumper scene is just a repeat from Avengers 1.

9 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by DariusQ on 05/02/2015 at 11:48 PM

Re: “Avengers: Age of Ultron: Sloppy second

Thanks for writing, "Raymond." Although I don't share your (or Cronenberg's) viewpoint. There have been some superb superhero flicks with art AND form, just as there have been some awful ones with no redeeming qualities. To dismiss them all would be like dismissing all musicals, or all animated features, or what-have-you.


10 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Matt Brunson on 05/02/2015 at 3:53 PM

Re: “Avengers: Age of Ultron: Sloppy second

I can't believe you actually went. I consider all of these superhero features to be mediums and that's about it. Certainly not film. I think David Cronenberg said it best, "There boring. There's no art or form to them. It's just someone running around in a stupid costume."

3 likes, 16 dislikes
Posted by Raymond Chandler on 05/01/2015 at 8:54 PM

Re: “Hollywood Shuffle, Inherent Vice, Zardoz among new home entertainment titles

Love the line George Kennedy says to an obnoxious brat who won't leave him alone, "Look kid why don't you go fuck a duck" in Thunderbolt and Lightfoot was hilarious to me.. His delivery was second to none.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Rob Rippy on 04/28/2015 at 7:36 PM

Re: “The Age of Adaline needs more maturation

I'd better look into getting glasses. On quick glance, I swore the headline read "...Adaline needs more masturbation."

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Shodan on 04/24/2015 at 2:45 PM

Re: “True Story: I call b.s.

I've gotta agree, this is too much a pretend "Feel Good" attempt at a story & less about what it ever was intended to be or could've been. It's "Fiction derived from truth", for the sake of uneven & gratuitous entertainment. Definitely NOT worth paying to see. IF one is going to painfully struggle through this movie, I'd advice that you wait for it to be released on either online, DVD or "free" Movie Channels.

5 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by KrazyKen on 04/17/2015 at 1:31 PM

Re: “Tim's Vermeer: Paint by numbers

"Jenison decides that Vermeer employed a camera obscura..and sets about using similar techniques and circumstances"

I don't think you even watched the entire movie.

2 likes, 4 dislikes
Posted by dirk on 04/16/2015 at 3:31 PM

Re: “The Interview, The Majestic, St. Vincent among new home entertainment titles

Tom Whalen: Yes, my opinion of horror titles is "broadly contempuous [sic] and dismissive." That's why THIS VERY COLUMN includes a RAVE review for a horror film (BLACK SUNDAY). Insert eye roll here.

5 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Matt Brunson on 03/28/2015 at 2:47 AM

Re: “The Interview, The Majestic, St. Vincent among new home entertainment titles

Why do you bother reviewing horror titles when you opinion of them is so broadly contempuous and dismissive?

0 likes, 5 dislikes
Posted by Tom Whalen on 03/27/2015 at 1:26 PM

Re: “Run All Night: Sleep all movie

I didn't think you could make a bad submarine movie until I saw K19: The Widowmaker. It's sad to see Neeson in the movies he's done in the last couple years.

I gave up on Ford when they made the 4th Indiana Jones movie. There's a reason they call it a trilogy...

4 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Bob on 03/13/2015 at 6:25 PM

Re: “Blacula, The Breakfast Club, Stormy Weather among new home entertainment titles

Let's be honest Valerie Perrine was a heterosexual male guilty pleasure... She was all woman in an era where women were adored not these vapid stupid twit girls who are interchangeable and a dime a dozen on todays movie screen.

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Rob Rippy on 03/12/2015 at 3:53 PM

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