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Another Week Already 

Quote of the Week: "That lemon-haired pussy, I'll take him on." -- said by a citizen speaking to city council last week, referring to Hornets owner George Shinn, who the man says is spying on Charlotteans from a white helicopter.

Both major political parties in NC said they were considering selling naming rights to their new state headquarters. "But we'll be discreet about it," said Democratic Party chair Barbara Allen, speaking from the Ty-D-Bowl Democratic Party Lemon-Fresh Headquarters. "The Democrats are opening themselves to charges of corruption," responded Republican Party chair Bill Cobey, standing on a pile of hundred dollar bills in the Enron Republican Headquarters building.

There's a reason for the increase in local subscriptions to the daily New York Times: One day last week, the Charlotte Observer used around 80 percent of its local section front page, plus 48 inches inside, to "cover" the fact that the previous day had been warm.

Police Chief Darrel Stephens, stressing his strong belief in the "If they can't find a parking space, they'll go home" theory of anti-terrorist security, said police will go ahead and eliminate 88 uptown parking meters, despite protests from uptown business owners. Police had originally proposed eliminating 119 meters in the terrorist-targeted, danger zone bullseye that we so innocently and carelessly refer to as "uptown."

Let's see now, "Caged birds are red, violets are blue. . ." Formerly respected NC poet Maya Angelou continued to take a PR beating for having her own line of Hallmark cards and products.

Disingenuous: not straightforward; not candid or frank; insincere. City planning honcho Martin Cramton told a city council retreat that some of them tell planners in advance that a project already has enough council votes to pass regardless of the planners' decisions. Mayor Fratboy expressed shock and indignation at this indication of the hefty influence developers wield in local government. It wasn't reported whether he winked or not.

Welcome To The South:Michael Ray Nichols, 32, of Bessemer City beat and terrorized blacks and Latinos in his neighborhood.

Welcome To The New South: Nichols was convicted in court and faces up to 30 years in prison.

Surreal experience of the week(And probably for the rest of the year): Watching Paul McCartney and Terry Bradshaw singing "A Hard Day's Night" around the desk during halftime of the Superbowl.

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