December 28, 2010 News & Views » The N word

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Best-laid plans 

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You've heard the saying "If you want to make God laugh, make plans." As 2010 comes to a close, it seems like this was this case.

This time last year, I was mourning the loss of my nephew who died unexpectedly in his sleep a few days before Christmas. Christmas, a holiday that I usually love, didn't feel much like Christmas — especially when preparing for a funeral. I thought to myself then that the holiday would never feel the same ... but lo and behold, it did. As each day passed, so did my sadness, and soon enough, I was able to think about him without crying and talk about him with happiness.

That's what is cool about time and being blessed to live another year — so much can change and for the better. Out of bad things can come great things and vice-versa. Regardless of what happens, you keep rolling with the punches and eventually, you'll stand up straight. I've decided to focus on what I'm grateful for this year instead of making plans that will most certainly change in the New Year.

I am grateful for being able to see another year. As I write this piece, I have learned of the passing of a classmate and one of my favorite singers, Teena Marie. Life is not promised, so I'm thankful to be here and in relatively good health.

I am grateful for having had my grandfather Joseph as an active part of my life. He died this year at age 90. He was always genuinely happy to see me and treated me with kindness and respect. He was a member of his church for 75 years and a deacon for more than 30 years. A World War II veteran, he was thoughtful, wise and gentle. I never heard him say an unkind word to anyone my entire life, including my grandmother to whom he was married for 55 years. She preceded him in death. Now they're together, which is good — because Grandpa Agee without Grandma Agee was never quite right.

I am grateful for my fantastic family and friends. I feel like I am literally surrounded by the best people in the world. I am thankful for little to no drama and knowing that someone has my back.

I am grateful for my nieces and nephews and all eight of my godchildren. Children bring so much joy to the world and keep you grounded. They say exactly what needs to be said because they haven't been socialized to withhold emotions or to manage their feelings or to care about what other people think. If you want the truth, ask a child. If you want to stay grounded, exercise humility and be constantly challenged, spend time with children. My "kids" make me a much better person.

I am grateful for my Uncle Bill who passed away this year. He and my Aunt Dot took great care of me when I was pursuing my Ph.D. at the University of Southern California. They along with my Uncle John and Aunt Lisa, made my transition to La-La Land effortless. I'm sure one of the reasons I never got caught up in any foolishness out there is because I had family to keep me in check and to take care of me. Uncle Bill made sure I had everything I needed — food, shelter and transportation. You name it, and I had it. He was kind and generous, and I miss him dearly.

I am grateful for having options in life. I often say that my mother having the same address and phone number for 25 years allowed me to have so many different addresses and phone numbers. My grandmother used to call me a nomad because I lived and traveled in so many places. I would literally pick up and go wherever I wanted. My family and friends wrote my phone numbers and addresses in pencil because you never knew where I would land. I'm older with greater responsibilities, so nowadays I stay put more often than not. One thing that I make sure of is to have options — personal, professional, spiritual, financial and familial. When you have options, you operate from a place of purpose instead of fear — at least I do.

I am grateful for employment. With so many people out of work or underemployed, I know how lucky I am to be employed. This recession has been a beast. Many people, including my family and friends, have lost homes, jobs and in some cases, hope. I am thankful that I still have hope and a job so that I can help those I love who are struggling.

Last but not least, I'm just thankful for life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

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