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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (April 14) 

Not so wise

Case in Point A Steele Creek man may have sealed his fate with an ex following a messy breakup recently. A judge ordered a temporary domestic violence restraining order to keep the fueding couple apart. This didn't sit well with the man, who proceeded to violate the order by warning his ex that if she were to make the restraining order permanent, he would sue her. The woman followed suit by notifying police that this threat was a violation of the temporary restraining order already in place.

Shady Character Security at a Steele Creek grocery store recently intercepted a thief who was attempting to exit the store with stolen merchandise. The suspect had caught the attention of store employees when he entered the store and quickly filled a shopping cart with groceries, then headed for the store exit. According to police reports, security was able to stop the thief and recover the groceries, but the shoplifter did make off with a pair of sunglasses he had swiped during his spree.

Standard Procedure When an employee at a Rivergate bar showed up for his opening shift, he discovered the restaurant in a state of disarray: the beer kegs hadn't been properly shut off, and broken liquor bottles littered the floor, totaling over $1000 in damages. Suspecting that the bar had been broken into, police investigated the scene before concluding that "no criminal activity had occurred." In other words, someone had one hell of a party.

Father Knows Best When a 20-year old woman couldn't get a persistent suitor to leave her alone, she asked her dad for back up. Unfortunately, this just added fuel to the fire and the stalker began targeting the Dilworth dad with harassing phone calls. After receiving a series of violent threats — including the oddly specific "I will go to Concord Mills and fuck your daughter" — Dad turned the matter over to police, who have opened an investigation on the desperate dater.

Breaking, Not Entering A crook got sent back to the drawing board last week after his planned burglary went bust. The suspect tried to gain entry to a car dealership by breaking in, but quickly realized he was in the used tire shop next door. He then broke down an interior door that he believed would get him to the car dealership, but found that it actually just lead to the tire shop's office. Still believing he could find a way into the car dealership, the suspect then began to pry panelling off of the office walls. Unfortunately, once he tore down enough of the wall to pass through, he found himself in the tire shop's bathroom. The suspect finally abandoned the scene, and no items were reported stolen.

Spit Decision A 58-year old Belmont man was returning to his apartment after a morning trip to the grocery store, but would soon need to return to the store after some unknown person spoiled them. The victim reported that a stranger approached him, shouting obscenities and spitting on groceries the victim was carrying. The victim told police the suspect then drew a razor blade, but quickly retreated without using the weapon on the victim.

Waterworks A Hickory Grove woman was moving into her new home when she discovered that the house came with a feature that the realtor hadn't mentioned — an indoor pool. Apparently, prior to the homeowner's move-in date, someone had broken into the crawlspace below the house and stripped 65 feet of copper pipes. As soon as the woman had the water turned on, her crawlspace and much of her bottom floor flooded.

Backpay An employee at a University City pizzeria was arrested after managers observers him removing $90 in cash from a register and handing it to an accomplice, who was also a former employee. Maybe skip the risky take-out and arrange for a delivery next time?

Amateur Hour After discovering that a suspect had shattered his window and broken into his car while it was parked overnight at an Independence Boulevard motel, a man conducted his own investigation and informed police that it couldn't possibly have been a break-in, because "the one item of value" in the car hadn't been stolen. In an unrelated incident, when a citizen set on performing their civic duties spotted a marijuana roach that had been discarded on Remount Road, they picked the item up and transported it to the Westover police. No word on whether CSI has been succesful in testing the mouthpiece for DNA.

Hands Off Loss prevention officers at a Northlake store caught a man attempting to steal a household appliance described in police reports as a "sick vacuum" (we're not sure if sick is a typo, or if the vacuum was just really cool and awesome). When security attempted to stop the suspect from leaving the store with the totally rad appliance, the suspect grabbed him in the groin, according to the report. That's an interesting take on the "five-finger discount."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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