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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (August 27) 

Shocking behavior

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: A 26-year-old woman filed a police report against a man for harassment after he wouldn't leave her alone online. The woman told officers she sent the man a message telling him not to contact her anymore, but he sent her four more messages for the purpose of annoying her over the next week, she said. According to the report, the man wasn't messaging her directly, but commenting on her dog's Instagram account.

Shocking Behavior: Police responded to an assault call in west Charlotte last week after a man found out it can sometimes be just as dangerous to be a non-smoker. The 40-year-old victim told officers a suspect asked him for a cigarette and then shocked him with a Taser when he said he didn't have any. The victim suffered a scratch on his neck and a cut on his ear as a result of the assault, but refused services from paramedics.

In or Out?: A 24-year-old woman called police to a motel on Brookshire Boulevard after the motel manager allegedly assaulted her. The woman said the man came to her door to tell her it was past check-out time and she need to leave. She said she "exchanged some words" with the man before trying to close the door so she could change cothes and check out, but he forced his way into the room by kicking the door, which struck the victim's elbow and sent her to the ground.

Just the Tip: Paramedics responded to a Jimmy John's location in Uptown last week after an employee there accidentally sliced the tip of his right index finger off while using the electric meat slicer.

Start Them Young: Police responded to a shoplifting call at the South End Publix last week after a whole family got in on the criminal act. Police said a woman entered the store and made off with five cases of 5-hour ENERGY, worth a total of $53.96. She also allegedly encouraged a yong female child to run out of the store with a two-pack of the energy supplement, worth $3.69.

Non sequiturs: A 50-year-old woman called police to her home last week because she thinks someone might have entered her residence at some point and removed four forks and three spoons. In an unrelated incident, police responded to Blythe Landing after someone called about a suspicious person in the bathroom. When officers arrived, the reporting person said she "wasn't sure what she heard" in the stall next to her. In yet another example of confused folks who think their victims, a northeast Charlotte man filed a police report stating he had received 300 phone calls over the last year, "mostly hang-ups by various numbers."

Charity Case: A volunteer at the Salvation Army called police last week after someone confused the store with an Army surplus store. The reporting person told officers she was going through donation bins behind the building when she found that someone had left a rifle as a donation. The weapon was turned into CMPD property control.

Office Expenses: You have to spend paper to make paper, as the expression sort of goes. A 48-year-old woman fell victim to a scam after believeing she landed a job that didn't really exist. The supposed employer sent the woman two checks totaling $3,780 and asked her to send the cash value back so they could buy stationary for the office. Her bank soon informed her that the checks were bad and she was in the hole for the money.

Dirty in Bed: A 30-year-old man filed a police report for damage to property after someone (we assume a moving company) damaged his bed. The man reported that unknown suspects ruined his $4,000 Tempur-Pedic mattress and bed frame by dropping it in the mud, punching holes in it and breaking the frame apart.

Three Degrees of Separation: A man came into CMPD headquarters last week to file a report after his rental car was "stolen" but officers soon realized he just suffered from bad decision-making. The man said he lent the rental to his friend, who he knew had no driver's license, to go buy drugs. The man went into a neighborhood where he thought he could find drugs, and a local man told him he would have to drive to the drug spot himself. So then the stranger took the car to find drugs and, surprise, never returned.

Call A Cab: While hitchhiking is already dangerous once you get in a stranger's car, one horrible local mother took it to another level last week. Police responded to a call about a suspicious person darting through traffic on Park Road last week and found a woman trying to flag down cars along with her two small children.

Threats of the Week: A 26-year-old man filed a police report after a neighbor threatened to "cut his dog up" last week, although it's unclear whether the two were just at a cookout and the neighbor thought the hot dogs were too hot to serve whole. In an unrelated incident, a 54-year-old man said he was trying to collect money from someone who owed him when the very specific man replied, "I don't owe you money. I carry a .38 and I will shoot you within 2,100 feet."

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