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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (Jan. 7) 

They got burned

Fuming Mad A 47-year-old woman was able to escape from a man who attacked her in a McDonald's parking lot last week in a terrifying incident. The woman told officers the man approached her and attempted to place a rag soaked in some sort of chemicals over her mouth "with unknown intentions as to what to do after that." It's unclear from the report whether the woman knew the man or he was an unknown suspect, but thankfully, the chemicals had no effect on her and, left to his own physical devices, he was no match for the woman. She fought him off and was able to call police.

Where'd That Come From? Police approached a man sleeping in the driver's seat of his car on a road in the Belmont neighborhood, but he wasn't exactly alone. Officers reported that lying in the man's lap was a .40-caliber Glock handgun with an extended clip in. After the officers reportedly had a "difficult" time waking the man up, he said he didn't know who owned the gun on his lap but it certainly wasn't his. Officers seized the weapon and sent the man on his way.

That Burns A man was robbed by three suspects in northwest Charlotte who didn't have firearms, but rather, arms of fire. The victim told officers the men struck him across the back with a tiki torch before stealing $105 in cash from his front pocket and fleeing the scene.

Towing the Line A 17-year-old boy came along to assist in the repossession of a vehicle near NoDa and found that he may need to wait until he's a little older for this sort of business. According to the police report, the boy was hooking the car up to the tow cable when the car's owner suddenly appeared and tried to stop the repossession. He allegedly wrapped the tow cable around the boy's neck and tried to choke him with it before being dragged away from the victim.

So... About That Car Police responded to a call near Uptown last week after a man slowly began to realize he was in trouble and probably newly single. The man told officers that his girlfriend would regularly let him use her Mitsubishi Lancer to get around and that he loaned it out for drugs, as he does sometimes, but the drug dealer never returned it this time.

Hard Crime A 59-year-old west Charlotte man filed a police report after someone spray-painted a penis on his fence last week. In an unrelated (maybe) incident, an unknown person spray-painted the word "Suck" across the hood of a 24-year-old man's Dodge Neon. We just thought those were worth a giggle. We're 12 years old, basically.

Santa, Is That You? Police responded to a call to the Midnight Diner on Christmas Eve in reference to a possibly impaired person driving down the sidewalk. Sure enough, the suspect was found and charged with DWI.

Gangsta Grillz A 24-year-old man filed a police report after someone broke into his car in Uptown last week and stole all of his street cred. The man told officers the thief stole his Ruger SR40 handgun, his $1,200 gold chain with a gold cross and even 12 gold teeth worth a total of $650.

Threat of the Week A 40-year-old Fort Lauderdale man filed a report with the CMPD after being threatened over text message recently by a man who lives in the Steele Creek area. The victim told officers he received a number of texts from the probable Donald Trump fan, one of which stated that he would "attach his diesel truck to your shitty house made by Mexicans and tear it down."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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