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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (May 19) 

Pissed off

Peeved Police When nature calls, sometimes you just have to answer — no matter where you are. Police officers responded to calls of a man urinating in public in southwest Charlotte last week, but this was not your average alleyway piss; the man was inside the upper level terminal of the Charlotte Douglas International Airport. The suspect was intoxicated and probably needed to break the seal, but couldn't hold it long enough to find a bathroom in time. According to police, his behavior was disruptive, as he yelled obscenities at officers who were trying to escort the man out of the terminal-turned-bathroom.

Lights Out A bright idea led to lights out for one east Charlotte man following an argument in an apartment last week. The suspect was reportedly hanging out with a 29-year-old man when the latter decided to unplug a lamp. The suspect became enraged at this decision and allegedly punched the unenlightened victim in the face and chest repeatedly. The altercation took a sharp turn (as opposed to a dark one) when the suspect then struck the victim on the head with a glass bottle.

Tag, You're Hit! Oh, the days of a light, innocent game of playground tag. Nowadays, that "innocent" game can turn violent. At Thomasboro Academy, a teacher reported to police that during recess, the schoolchildren began a game of tag among themselves. Things went awry when the tags among the players became more and more like shoves. Two children got into an altercation over the increasingly forceful tags. The "physical running game," as it was described, upset both students, and one received a forceful tag to the face.

Wake-up Call Hair stylists were enjoying another day at Diamante's Beauty Salon last week when an unknown person entered the premises and asked to use the business' telephone. The suspect then suddenly absconded with the phone. This begs the question, who you gonna call now?

Eat It Tenants can be an absolute nightmare when they don't pay rent on time, have pets or parties that ruin the unit or make rude threats. One apartment complex manager in the University area received a fairly concrete threat from a tenant renting in one of the units. She told police that the suspect threatened to punch her in the face and make her "eat asphalt." Wow, is that grounds for eviction?

Back for Seconds The golden rule of crime: do not return to the scene of the crime. One man who got rowdy at Epicentre last weekend clearly doesn't understand this basic rule. After engaging in an after-hours fight at Suite, security tried to remove the suspect from the area. That's when the suspect got nasty, cursing at and threatening to assault the men as they did their job. By the time police officers arrived, the man had fled the scene without being apprehended or identified. The now-wanted suspect, however, returned with his friends later to report that he had been assaulted by security while being escorted out of the building earlier in the night. It was then that the man was finally arrested.

He Said, She Said Nothing adds respectability to an otherwise normal argument like the presence of a gun. Police responded to one couple's north Charlotte residence last week and were told that the wife took a pistol from her husband's car and pointed it at him, threatening to shoot him if he did not return their children's electronic items. But, as is usually the case, there were two sides to this story (both equally stupid). The woman told police that the husband had actually threatened to shoot his her in the head if he didn't get his cellphone back from her. Let's just put down the phones and the gun and go to marriage counseling, huh?

Do I Know You? A Yellow Cab driver took a gamble on a local man who wanted a ride to Harrah's Cherokee Casino Resort in Cherokee last week and promised to pay the cab driver when they returned. The driver said they were only supposed to stay in Cherokee for a couple hours, but the man kept negotiating for him to stay longer, telling him he would give him more money while presumably losing everything he had inside. The driver later told the police that when the pair finally got back to Charlotte, the man suddenly got selective amnesia, acting as if he had never met the cab driver and stating that he was bothering him. He probably just wanted to forget about losing his life savings in one day.

Home Improvement A south Charlotte resident reported that her neighbor made threats over the close proximity of the fence dividing their properties — thus dividing their neighborly relationship. The victim called police and told the officers that her neighbor told her, "I hope you got approval for the fence from the [Homeowner's Association] because I'm going to tear it down because it's too close to my unit." The victim told officers she's unsure (on the fence?) whether or not the suspect would actually carry out the threat.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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