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Prime Suspect: A 27-year-old woman called police last week after she thought her car had been burglarized. She told officers that she didn't have any idea how the suspects entered her car, and her wallet was the only thing missing. She called back an hour later and told officers that her son had the wallet the whole time and the investigation could be stopped. That classic documentary Scared Straight would be perfect for this kid.
Nails Did: Employees at So Sharp Nail Salon called police after a woman caused a scene in their shop. One employee, who was the victim of the crime, told officers that a woman became irate when she decided she didn't like the service she was getting at the salon. The suspect pushed the employee in her back and then threw her over a cabinet holding nail polish. The cabinet tumbled over — and I'm assuming the victim probably did, too. She didn't reply: "I told you to paint little dolphins on each toenail bitch, these look like tuna." But she should have.
Not Cool: A police report was filed from the local sheriff's office after a convict destroyed some property in the jail. According to the report, the jailbird was not happy with his new home and decided to rip out the sprinkler head in the cell he was in, costing the city of Charlotte $300. I'm betting if someone set his cell on fire, he would quickly regret his actions.
The Haunting: A 39-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a customer while she was at work. She told officers that the person, whom she has never seen before, said, "I am going to have someone beat the shit out of you. I am going to harass you for the rest of your life." That's nothing. Just be happy you didn't paint her toenails the wrong color.
Broken Headlights: A 27-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a known suspect. The woman told officers that the suspect told her, "I am going to fuck you up more than your car." The good news is that you know who fucked your car up last week. The bad news is that you have bigger things to worry about now.
Car Jacking 101: A 23-year-old man called police after his car was stolen by his female passenger. He told officers that the woman became mad at him and hit him in the face twice while he was driving. When he stopped, the woman showed him a knife, and he exited the vehicle immediately. After climbing into the driver's seat, the woman proceeded to drive the car directly into a utility pole. This chick is definitely marriage material.
Friendly Mistake: A 19-year-old man called police after one of his friends stole his phone. He told officers that he invited the suspect over for conversation at 11 a.m. and realized a couple of hours later that his phone was missing. He then received a text message on his other phone that said, "Oh yeah, I got your phone." I don't think you invited the guy over for "conversation." This definitely seems like you guys just smoked too much weed and the dude picked up the wrong phone. Happens all the time.
Top Kill: A 42-year-old woman called police after her house was vandalized overnight. She told officers that sometime around midnight, unknown suspects threw golf balls and soda cans at the vinyl siding of her house, causing damage. If I'm not mistaken, wasn't this BP's brilliant plan to stop the oil spill more than a month ago? Any connection?
Final Destination: A 48-year-old man called police after a man who was riding in his cab assaulted him. He told officers that he was driving when the unknown suspect struck him over the head with a blunt object, causing him to lose control of his vehicle and crash. You don't bite the hand that feeds you — and you definitely don't strike the head that drives you.
Handicap: A 30-year-old man called police after he was threatened and then assaulted by his girlfriend. He told officers that the woman threatened to kill him before coming after him and scratching him down his arms. When he ran up the street to get away from her, she got in her car and tried to run him down. She struck the victim's right leg and then backed up and struck his left leg. This has never happened to me, but then again I usually crawl off the road once the first leg is hit by a motor vehicle.
Threat of the Week: A 38-year-old woman called police after being repeatedly threatened by someone she knows. The victim told officers that someone called her 15 times in a week and said things like, "I'm going to burn your house down. You will pay. I am going to make you and your daughter shit." Are we talking about a healthy Activia shit? Or is there Ex-Lax involved in this equation?
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.
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Calendar
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Wine & Paint @ Blackfinn Ameripub- Ballantyne
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Face to Face Foundation Gala @ The Revelry North End
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An Evening With Phil Rosenthal Of "Somebody Feed Phil" @ Knight Theater
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Kountry Wayne: The King Of Hearts Tour @ Ovens Auditorium
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Queen Charlotte Fair @ Route 29 Pavilion
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